Judgemental people?

Question

I just asked a question about a freind wanting to open a daycare.. She experimented with marijuana when she was young and got caught... She was 16 then.. now she is much older, has a nice house, a husand, her own kids... and so on.. A wonderful person..
The responses I got were that they would never leave there children with her..
Now tell me people.. You guys have never experimented with marijuana? Tell me also why you dont think someone can change from there childhood when they become an adult..
also tell me, why everyone thinks that people cant change.. because people can... People change all the time...

Answer 1

People can change, and I am glad that your friend has taken a turn for the better. Ignore the judgemental people, they probably see your friend as the woman from the past, not the present one. Give them time to get to know her. Then their view of her might change.

Answer 2

No, I have never experiemented with marijuana. There are a lot of people who haven't. Just because people do it doesn't mean it is okay. If someone has a record that might keep them from running a day care, those rules are mandated by that particular state's laws, not people's opinions. If she has not used it since she was 16, it should not be a problem.

How does this relate to the child abuse you mentioned before? That is a totally different issue.

Answer 3

When you say she got caught what exactly do you mean? By the police?
Look lots of people experimented with marijuana when they were young : I know a female physician who experimented with it at that age.
Why would she talk about her use to you? What I mean is that there is a danger of being too honest, why bring up stuff from that age? Nevertheless you can't judge someone on something they did when they were 16, that's ridiculous. I also suspect that some people here are being hypocritical.

Answer 4

Trying marijuana once or a few times in your teenage years should not disqualify you from leading a normal adult life. I don't have any kids yet, but I have several dozen nieces, nephews, and cousins that I babysit for money all the time, and their parents all know I used to be a pot-smoker when I was younger. People grow beyond adolescence, and it's stupid to think otherwise. Maybe they are being way too overprotective of their kids.

Answer 5

She isnt a bad person. IF that was years ago and its obvious that her life has completely changed, then whats the big deal.. There are probably people who do have their own daycare and they did experiment with drugs and they are fine now.. JUst b/c she got caught and turned her life around doesn't mean people should critize her for what she did when she was younger. That is very judgemental that people critize her for that

Answer 6

I just saw your previous question. You stated something about a child abuse charge against that friend. I am thinking that it would be quite normal for a person to hesitate sending their child to her daycare.

I myself have never experimented with any sort of drugs.
As for being able to change, yes, it can happen, and it does. :) I'm glad that your friend was able to change her life around.

That being said... If your friend's charges are pertaining to any type of child abuse, not just the use of marijuana, I don't find it troublesome that people wouldn't be able to trust her. I realize that this is not a good comparison, but just think of it this way... A child molester has changed for the better. He/she only experimented with it. Would you want to leave your child in his/her care?

Again, I'll say that that's not a very good comparison, b/c the use of drugs isn't the same as child molestation. But if any any ANY sort of child abuse is involved, well, then...

Answer 7

I have never and will never experiment with drugs like marijuana.

I know a recovered addict and she is really nice, but It might make me a little uncomfortable to have my children taken care of by someone who did drugs because I grew up with an addict in my family and I wouldn't want my kids around that.

However, many people do experiment with it as a teen and never used it again or never got addicted so I would consider allowing my child to be watched by a person like that.

Answer 8

You'd be hard pressed to find someone in my age group who didn't, at the least, experiment with pot. Most if not all of my friends quit. Personally, I don't see the problem. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Judge not lest you be judged. Yada yada.She was 16, it's a misdemeanour offence, unless she was a drug trafficker, and it would be expunged from her criminal record. All juvenile records are sealed and when you turn 18 they're eradicated. I just wouldn't mention it. If someone ASKED me, I'd tell them but I wouldn't offer it. It's really no ones damned business. She's apparently got her act together, her past is her past.
Let it be.

Answer 9

Um, how would I know?

She isn't exactly mentioning her past recreational use of marijuana to prospective parents, so I'd only be able to evaluate her skills and abilities based on what I can see. So, assuming she doesn't have little baggies of weed and rolling papers stored next to the Baby Einstein DVDs, I'd probably believe that she's the responsible grown-up you describe.

If I found out later? If my kid was happy, it wouldn't phase me a bit. People have pasts; unless it makes for a great story, I'm not interested.

Answer 10

Some people can change; some cannot. You mentioned child abuse, which is vastly different from doing drugs. And there are many people who are wonderful, have nice houses, and husbands and kids yet still do drugs. You asked, we responded. And no, I would not trust her with children. FYI: 16 years old is not a child.