I have been dating my BF for almost a year. We both work in the healthcare field and really love each other. I am planning on moving out of my father's house in the next six months when I save up enough to rent an apartment and buy appliances. Recently while i was over his apartment he propose the question of us moving in together, we would split the rent and share neccessites. I told him I would think about it. I am a little scared of the idea. I am the kind of person who likes to give guys their space. We spend alot of time together on the weekend since we both work mon-fri and can't see each other at that time. He always complain how he doesn't see me that much and how he misses me. I am scare that if he sees me every day that he will grow weary of me. Am i just overreacting?
2007-09-16 08:53:53 · 11 answers · asked by Kerry Kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The answer to this question will vary from couple-to-couple. My advice: Don't live together if:
* You have any doubts about living together.
* You have any doubts about the relationship.
* There is anything major you are trying to work out in the relationship e.g. issues on how to handle money, how he treats you when he's angry, etc.
* You want to get married and you suspect he will never marry you once you live together.
Think long and hard before deciding to live together. Should your relationship run into trouble or break up, it will be a lot harder to do this when living together.
OTOH, there are advantages to living together first, for couples mature and ready enough to be living together in the first place. You get to find out how well you can get along and handle each other's idiosyncrasies on a day-to-day basis. If there are any unpleasant surprises, you get to find out *before* the wedding day.
I think there are far more couples both living together and getting married than should be. You need to determine if you are in the minority of couples who would benefit from living together.
2007-09-16 10:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I are moving in together next month and it'll be 16 months into the relationship. If you're not ready, then just tell him and I'm sure he'll be okay with it. My boyfriend wanted to move in together about 4 or 5 months ago but I just wasn't ready yet. I told him that and he said okay, he'd ask again in a few months. Now we're moving across the country together to start a new life together.
That said... if you do decide to move in together, he won't get tired of you! After a year there's no need to be worried about that. You can still do your own thing some nights! It's not like you have to spend every day and night together. Also, where does the relationship go next if you're still worried about this? What happens if you want to get married, etc? So don't be worried about that at all. After a year, it's not likely to happen!
2007-09-16 16:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by tink 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend and I waited a little more than a year.
I've thought the same thing, because I don't like when people are in my face constantly. We'll be working and going to school (college) alot so we really won't get to see each other THAT much so during the times we do get to see each other it's at OUR place, not one or the other and neither of us have to travel to one anothers places after we've been on the go all day and just want to be home an relax. We get to be home and relax together.
It's actually been a really nice change, and we only have one set of bills, and one rent payment, it's easier to save money, at least for us it was. It seemed more practical to pay one rent payment than 2, and 1 electricity bill rather than 2 etc.
2007-09-16 16:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Moving in with someone is a big thing, and you should talk to him about all of your concerns about moving in together. If you are with him all the time while not at work, moving in would be a good idea, that way one of you are not paying rent for a place that you hardly spend any time in.
I met my b/f Feb 2003 and moved in with him July 2004, got engaged Aug 2006. We give each other our space and we are hardly weary of each other.
2007-09-16 18:53:17 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved in with my boyfriend(technically fiance) after we had a wedding date set. We're married now, but I am glad we moved in together before the wedding, even though I dont think moving in with a boyfriend is for everyone. Some guys might not want to get married since you're already living with them. They are getting whatever they want from their significant other without the commitment. I hope you think very carefully before you make any decisions. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-09-16 17:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I moved in together four years into our relationship. Honestly, I think a year sounds pretty quick, but I if you don't have any morals holding you back, I say go for it.
You get guaranteed time together every day and it's also quite cost effective because you can share a one bedroom apartment. My boyfriend and I have three dogs and three cats together, but that doesn't mean he tells me there's no point in us getting married, like another poster had stated. If he really loves you and has talked about marriage before, I really don't see how you moving in together would change his mind. If you are considering marrying him one day, you definitely shouldn't be worried about him growing weary of you. If he does, then you weren't really meant to be.
2007-09-16 23:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you ever think you might want to marry this, guy, don't move in with him. I'm not against it, in general, but I see posts here every day from women who complain they live with the BF for 3 years, they have a house, dog, children together, and the guy won't marry them--he says it makes no difference...so, if you want to just be in a dating relationship, you get along, well, and think you might like it, go ahead....if you ever want to marry that man, you're asking for trouble....go ahead and read some of the many posts in this section, and you'll see just what I'm talking about.
2007-09-16 16:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
What is a reasonable time to move in with a boyfriend? After the wedding is always good. Or maybe one or two weeks before the wedding, if housing needs require it (like bride's lease for her apartment is up, etc).
But of course, I am old-fashioned and very last-millennium. I am sure I will get plenty of thumbs down for this answer!
2007-09-16 17:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by Suz123 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Here's some reasonable advice- don't move in with him. Every heard the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Well, moving in with him will make things way too complicated and messy. Do both of you a favor and get your own apartment.
2007-09-16 16:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by standup149 2 · 3⤊ 3⤋
The reasonable time to move in is just after the wedding and honeymoon. That covers the concern you have and protects you emotionally.
2007-09-16 16:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Bob T 6 · 7⤊ 4⤋