i'm shy and quiet n i wana be loud n funny like i am at home but it's so hard cus i hav no confidence and self esteem i'm always comparin myself to others and i worry and stress about lil stuff i wana please every1 and prove ppl wrong i think so much nothin works idk who i want to be in the sterotype world idk what i should concentrate on i'm 14 years old i feel paranoid about every1 like their goin to ditch me n stuff i don't give myself much credit it's hard to like myself i feel so lost idk where i belong idk where to go i feel so insecure i blame everything on the ppl i love idk how to get over stuff that happened i'm too scared to talk bout stuff i've been through and what i'm going through bout it to some1 idk wher to begin cus there's so much stuff i feel every1 hates me pls help me
2007-09-16 08:52:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think a lot of people at 14 go through the same feelings (I did), but trust me, as you gain maturity you'll begin to feel more confident and spend your time with people who share your values. It's impossible to be universally liked and accepted and quite frankly, there are very few people whose opinions really matter. If you can learn to be tolerant, caring, helpful, and supportive, I guarantee you'll make some genuine friends who will respect you and like you regardless of how you look, dress, or speak.
The fact that that you're asking this question shows that you're gaining in self-awareness and on your way to becoming a good person. Don't worry so much and try to have some fun in your life - you'll get where you want to go.
2007-09-16 09:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by benz300coupe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most of us blame those close to us for what we percieve to be inadequacies in our own personality. But with most things in life, once we see the problem, then the solution is not so far away.
In most cases, no one really failed us if they were always doing the best they could for you. And even if they didnt, its good if you know the problem is there. Accepting that we have a problem is a major step in becomming the person we want to be. You have reached that stage. Well done.
But it can be daunting seeing what you want to be from where you feel you are. If you observe the person that is outgoing and always appearing to get the laughs then note also when the laughs dont come and when the things said are not especially funny....or profound....or even correct.
In these circumstances people will respond not to the correctness of the comment but to how they are expected to respond.
At home you know everyone well. You (perhaps) worry less about being wrong in their eyes becasue you know they have faults and weaknesses as well. That allows you to relax and be outgoing. If you screw up then no one worries.
People outside are no different, They ARE more defensive, just like you and the also have a need to feel accepted, just like you.
Some people feel secure by putting others down. If those in their circle agree then it boosts his/her self image and sadly his/her behaviour.
Others with greater self confindence will seek to 'win' others by accepting them. They will look for a persons good points and encourage them. They dont fell threatened by others that might be more funny, profound etc.
2007-09-16 09:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by philip_jones2003 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to calm down is to take one step at a time. If you haven't already done so, first decide on a topic. Just choose one. It doesn't have to be a perfect choice. Making the choice will instantly make you feel better. If you really can't get over this hurdle, choose the first question on the list. Sometimes it is the indecision and procrastination that causes the anxiety. Once you have your topic it's a matter of keeping focused on it. I would always write my chosen topic on paper in large writing and stick it on the wall. Then each time I lost focus or felt stressed, I'd look at the paper on the wall and remind myself of what I'm doing. Good luck.
2016-05-21 02:14:36 · answer #3 · answered by tracy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweety....
I know how you feel I am the same way. You just need to push all those feelings aside and be yourself. Be proud of who you are. STOP caring about what everyone thinks hang out with people who like you for who you really are. SCREW all the others.
Seeing a counselor is a good idea. Maybe you have one at your school. Get involved in a school activity. Or in a youth group of some sort. I wish I had more time to tell you more but my son needs a PB&J. Good luck and believe in yourself you are special...you are beautiful.... you are unique. I will be yur friend.........
xoxox peace
GG
2007-09-16 09:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all....Your not alone! Everyone feels or has felt like this in there life to some degree. If you feel this way you need to find someone you can trust to talk to and share your feelings with. you would be amazed at how many people in this world really understand you. give someone a chance. You are here for a reason on this planet. Your a beautiful person......find yourself and begain the journey.
2007-09-16 08:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by JUSTWONDERIN' 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey love i'm 15 and i have BEEN there. (still am to an extent) i always felt like i was ugly, boring, mean, not worth getting to know, everything bad. i still find myself mean, but i learned to love myself and though i don't think i'm gorgeous, i no longer consider myself ugly. the best bet for you is to give it time. it took me about 2 years to stop caring about what people think of me. to be honest, it alll happened this summer! i just thought, **** everyone else. i'll just be myself! even if i'm annoying. or boring. or stupid. just stop caring! think of it this way: 10 years from now are you ever going to see these people again?? then why care so much! are you goign to see your family in 10 years? hopefully! so take your anger out on your friends!! lol not your family. just give it time, you're going thorugh a rough patch everything will be fine. :]
2007-09-16 09:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by My Lovee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you are starting to feel over-anxious about how you behave.
The trick with self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do. Go out and be crazy. When you do, get ready for the adrenaline rush of your life.
And, watch out, you will become very popular because you are so friendly.
Listen. Everyone else feels exactly like you do now. They are waiting for someone to come along and show them who they are.
Well, here you are this nice, fun person and you can help them to find out that they can have as much fun as you do.
Go do it!
http://themeaningisyou.com
2007-09-16 09:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by HJG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will need to reach out to somebody who is knowledgeable enough to help you. Start with your parents if you are living at home. You CANNOT handle this by yourself. If your parents will not take action, there are hotlines you can call or go to a hospital and ask them to talk. If they can't help you, they should refer you to someone who can.
Know that there are people who care. You have at least one that does. Me.
2007-09-16 09:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey i had the same problem but the more u hang out with outgoing people u will be just like them for me i was shy and quiet but my bro told me just dont care what people think and that really impacted me to just let go but have it controlled also now i have alott more friends and yes it is hard to not care
2007-09-16 12:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by Brad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have felt like this too, but evenetually you will find some1 who understands you ( in real life) and if you don't:
screw everyone, sometimes ur better on ur own
2007-09-16 09:02:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋