I'm a twenty-two year old male. When I was younger I had a sexual experience with a cousin of mine. I was around twelve and he was around four or five. Basically we had all of our clothes on and he was ontop of me humping me, and i put my hands underneath his pants and proceeded to grab his but. That is all that happened. This memory fadded within time and has recently come back. I know I'm not gay or bi. I'm actually engaged to be married. But with this repressed memory it's like now everytime I see a child I think of this experience. But it dosn't plessure me, it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to have these thoughts anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm gay or a child molester when I know for a fact that I would never do anything to a child. I'm just so confused and angry, because I want to get rid of this memory and stop thinking about this experiece whenever I see a child. It is driving me crazy because I want to be happy and enjoy a healthy life.
2007-09-16 08:11:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
See a counselor. It will help you a lot. When you're 12, your hormones are raging and it can be easy to make a situation sexual when it's not. If your cousin was truly humping you, he may have been sexually abused and was acting out. Or, you might have perceived it as humping when he was just playing with you, and you need to figure that out. It does not mean you're gay or a child molester, but you do need some counseling to work it through, especially if you and your fiance want to have children in the future. A few counseling sessions will help enormously.
2007-09-16 08:16:14 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get off the guilt wagon. Children naturally experiment with a lot of things, some crazy ones. Some eat dirt or bugs and find out they don't like it. As long as they don't continue to eat dirt or want to eat bugs or dirt as adults there's no problem. The same is true of your experience. If you had desires to repeat that as an adult I'd say get counseling immediately. Almost everyone has some past experiences, many of which are much worse than yours, which they regret. All we can do is not dwell on them. Oops I made a mistake and don't have any desire to do it again. No one was seriously injured. End of story get on with enjoying life.
If you can't do that on your own, then you probably do need professional help because maybe there is more going on than is on the surface.
2007-09-16 15:41:35 · answer #2 · answered by Wascal Wabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. Calm down. So many people have had these type of experiemental experiences when young. They're more normal than you think. It's just that people don't talk about them because they feel shame.
You were young, you were experimenting and learning. That is all there is to it.
There is really nothing for you to forgive yourself for. Children do these things. Realize this. Take it to heart. Your fears and constant thinking over this will leave you when you accept it for what it was - a child experiementing and learning.
2007-09-16 17:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids do experiment.You are having these memories because you feel bad about it,which is understandable.I'll bet you're asking yourself 'why did I grab his but'?You need to ask God for forgiveness,and he will forgive you.Then you need to forgive yourself.That's the tough part,but you can do it.You are not a child molester,and you need to get on with your life!I would wait to get married until you can stop this way of thinking.If it is 'consuming you'well,I would seek help.You cannot just get rid of a memory.However,you can learn how to leave it in the past.
2007-09-16 15:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by debi jean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's quite a hard one... i think u should just try to relax and keep telling urself that it was a childish mistake that happened when u were too young to understand...when u see children, try not to think about it n just maybe play with them or something, it will assure ur mind, that ur not gay, because even though u know ur not, there's still a part of u that is disturbing u, because it is doubtful...
by the way, have u told ur fioncee about this incident? if u haven't, then maybe u should, because maybe ur just feeling insecure and guilty about that incident, because the girl ur getting married to doesn't know about it and because ur not getting any assurance from her that she's fine with it and that she's sure ur not gay or anything...
2007-09-16 15:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by $he 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please seek professional help. No one needs to know why you are seeing someone or that you are seeing someone. Do not let this haunt you. You are young and have your entire life before you.
2007-09-16 15:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by emtd65 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well. i think u should just forget about it because it wuz a mistake and also very old. also, youre getting married so just let it go.
2007-09-16 15:17:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty sick. get some HELP.
2007-09-16 15:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by rubyslippers93 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋