What the hell am I doing wrong?!?

Question

okay here's the deal: im in love with this beautiful girl who means a lot to me. we went out for a few dates, ate dinner, went to movies. we talk all the time. she's always saying how much she loves me, but whenever i ask her out anymore, she says no. she insists it has nothing to do with me, but im starting to suspect it is. what should i do??

oh an by the way, NO smart *** remarks please. this is a serious issue to me and i'd like some sincere answers. thanx.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you're dealing with this rejection, it can be very hard on a man. Have you considered that maybe she has met someone else and doesn't want to tell you? Unfortunately, if she is unwilling to communicate, you may have to let her know that you love her, but you don't deserve to be treated this way. You need some answers...and if that includes closure...then so be it. Also consider there may be something going on that she doesn't want to share with you. Family matters, ex boyfriend matters, her own personal health concerns, etc. I'm not giving her excuses, just saying it may actually not be you. It sounds like she, for the most part, reciprocated that same emotions back. You may just have to be firm and stand up to her and like I said, state your love, but also your concern for her and ask where the relationship is going. Let her know of your intentions and she how she reacts. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

You have to much that you have not explained. Your in love and she is telling you she loves you?? That would tell me you two have been in a relationship, however then you say, it was only a few dates. You can not be in love with people over a few dates. Maybe, only because you have not really explained well, that, both of you rushed into the love thing and now she is having second thoughts and maybe you have been pushy. That is a killer in its self. You need to, with all respect, forget it and move on. As hard as it is, just go on, no calls and maybe, just maybe she will call you and explain. It might be you and it might not, the point is its something. Leave her alone completely. It is the only choice you have, unless you want to look like a psycho. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Some times along the way, we realize that we've change. A circumstance can influence that change. Even a change of feeling is possible.

She said it's not about you. Well most girls say that as an excuse but you've been with her and I know you've had known something as to how she is as a person and the way she is in past relationships. So utilize you're judgment and intuition. Talk to her first about your feelings and ask her if you can do anything to help her but if she still go on with her wants then give her the space she needs.

Answer 4

My suggestion is don't call her for a day or so and see if she repsonds, she may call you and ask what's up and then you can have the conversation, maybe you're chasing her too hard, back off, the old saying if you set something free and it comes back to you then it's yours but if it doesn't come back then it never was. It's risky I know but why waste your time if she's not as in to you as you are in to her. You sound like a great guy and just need to get closure if it's not going anywhere or if she's got issues maybe she'll catch up with you and tell you what's going on. Absence makes the heart go fonder.
Good luck!

Answer 5

When is the last time you actually "saw" her? I hate to be the negative Nelly here, but maybe she's married? Maybe there's an issue here that DOESN'T "have anything to do with you."

I guess I would directly question the other person and explain my frustration, feelings and confusion. If the answer is still vague, I would back off and plan to watch it work itself out or not - as hard as that may be given your feelings.

Best of luck to you in this. When it's right - it will be right.

Answer 6

Its a little concerning (and i mean this respectfully) that you say "a few dates" "a few dinners" "went to movies", and youre telling each other you love eachother. Thats super intense, maybe, and im only speaking from my perspective, but just maybe, it got to be too much too fast and she got scared, and she still likes you a bit so she doesnt want to hurt your feelings. Its not you, its both of your faults for saying the "L" word. And even if you really do think you LOVE her and would actually spend your life with her, you shouldnt say it until your A) sure she feels the same, B) if she doesnt feel the same, your at a point where you feel you need to be hoenst, C) youve been committed to each other for a long or extended period of time and feel like youre in that comfort zone.
I like to try to give examples so that you dont take me the wrong way. I was seeing this guy about once a week for two months. We lived in different cities and I would drive there we would go out together and I would leave the next day. He said he loved me. I cant hang out with him anymore. I still like him, in fact I miss some things, but when it comes down to it, I dont love him. And i dont want to feel the pressure of either having to express that back, or hurt him worse.
Heres another thing to consider, do you and this girl really know eachother well? This is going to sound really stupid, but, can you fart in front of her??? If youre not comfortable enough to fart in front of her i dont think you can be comfortable enough to say i love you. (and it doesnt necessarily have to be a fart, its the principal and i know you know what i mean). IF she said she loves you and doesnt mean it, and you said it back, she probably is starting to feel trapped. Like, oh my god, i tricked him i made him think i love him and i made him love me back and now im going to hurt him. Its like a panic attack. Communication is key, my friend. If she has not communicated the real reason as to why she doesnt want to say yes, than its most likely not meant to be, becuase that means she cant or doesnt want to be honest with you. You need to try to communicate with her, and if she won't you need to let her go and move on. Feel free to email me if you need a female opinion on anything she says. Good luck.

Answer 7

One of the reasons that I may think about is that she is not attracted to you as much as you are, in other words, may be you two are not in the same level, but she likes you.

May be you are coming to strong to show your emotions and you are scaring her...- you know is the same as when a woman are into a guy, but he is not that interested as she is...-

Give her some time... don't talk to her very often, so she will start to wonder, if she is really interest in you. Be a little bit difficult.

I'm just talking from experience... hope this help... Best Wishes!

Answer 8

Have you ever considered that she doesn't enjoy your company as much as you enjoy hers? Maybe she is seeing someone else now and doesn't feel the need to tell you that. I can say I love you to any number of people. They are only words and don't mean crap. Lots of people throw them around, some just to get people off their backs. Stand back from this girl for a while and see if she starts to contact you. Good luck.

Answer 9

It could be many reasons.She could be scare of falling in love.Or maybe she feels u are falling in love and she isn't. The list goes on.What u should be doing is asking her why she doesn't want to go out. If she says it's her then ask her to be more pacific.I used the it's me speech once.I did it because I didn't want to hurt him.I didn't have the same feelings towards him as he did me. The only way your are really going to find out is to confront her.Good luck Oh by the way I love James Bond.hehehe

Answer 10

I've been in that situation before. The reason for me was because I didn't want to be in a relationship (he was aware of that) and I was afraid that he might actually take us going out for dinner and a movie as a date when all I wanted was friendship. I think she's afraid that she may hurt your feelings by telling you that. I was very honest with him and as a result we are still good friends.