kids at wedding meal?

Question

we are having a wedding meal that only seats 50 how do you go about inviting family members without there children as its very expensive without offending them or should we just include them all? please help!!!

8 kids all in.dont mind them at reception but its the meal straight after the wedding?

Answer 1

If you have the space, hire a bouncy castle and employ someone to make sure they are properly looked after. In any case, the majority of people who are invited to weddings, do no expect that the whole family are included.

Answer 2

My fiance and I knew right away that we did not want children at our wedding. We felt that a wedding was an adult affair and I didn't want people's children underfoot the entire evening. Don't get me wrong I love children. Just not at my wedding.

The other major issue was the same as yours. Our reception was extremely tight. It wasn't so much about money. It was about space. The reception room only holds 150 people. Now before you start making lists this seems like a lot of people. But when you split that between bride and groom it's not that much. I already have two sides of the family grumbling that they want to invite more people.

So, we have a choice. Invite kids and leave off adults or leave the kids at home and give a nice night out to adults who will actually appreciate it. The answer, at least to us, was clear. My invitations state that my wedding is followed by "An Adult Only Reception". There are no if, ands, or buts. Once you make this decision you must stick to it. You can't let someone guilt you into letting little junior through the door.

People will try to persuade you into letting their children come. My feeling is, and I mean no disrespect to anyone who has kids, that I endure other people's children everywhere I go. I do not want them at my wedding. If people choose not to come because their children are not invited, there's someone else waiting in the wings to eat their 100 dollar a plate dinner. This is what's right for me and my fiance.

When you really sit down and think about it you may decide that you want children at you wedding. You have to decide for yourself and your wedding. Good Luck!

Answer 3

On the bottom of the invitation simply put that children are invited to share the ceremony but can not be catered for at the reception. Thats what we need and only one person had a problem out of about 20. Everyone else was happy for a night away from the kids

Answer 4

just say that no kids at the meal time for the grown up to enjoy?if you invite one then they all have to come and if none are there you wont offend anyone?let them know in advance so as they can make other plans for the kids and kids are not wanting to go to a wedding they want to run about and have fun you will have a great time and so will the mums and dads without the wee ankle biters? congratulations and have a great wedding

Answer 5

We had kids at our meal, which also was straight after the ceremony, we explained to the caterer that it was children & got it free (as they wouldn't eat much), we put little games on their places to keep them entertained & seated them all together, the ages varied from 1 1/2yrs to 15yrs. Went really well. We also had 50 seated a bit or re-arranging did the job, i've had to miss 2 of my close friends weddings because kids weren't invited, still saddens me. But hey its your day, don't go into debt over it!

Answer 6

I got married last year, at the reception our caterers supplied all children under 10 with a kids meal (sandwich, crisps, cake, fruit, sweets and a small toy) it only cost about £5 per child, well worth it and the parents & children had a great day. Have a great wedding day relax & enjoy it, it goes so quickly. Good Luck

Answer 7

It's hard but it's your choice.
We fell out with my husband's family at our wedding because we didn't want any children there although this was nothing to do with the cost. I've been to too many weddings where some of the parents decide to take the day off and let their kids do what they like, I was determind not to have that at mine so I made it clear from the start that we would not be inviting children.
Ok, so we upset a few people but it was my wedding and turned out how I wanted it to.

Answer 8

There is nothing incorrect about inviting adults to a social event and not concerning yourself with your guests' childcare arrangements. Childcare is the responsibility of parents, not of those who are kind enough issue invitations to those parents.

When you issue invitations, invite every single person by name: no "and guest" or "and family" allowed. Include a phone number below the "rsvp" in the lower right. This will not only save you the trouble and expense of addressing and stamping those too cute little rsvp cards, it will allow you to exert control over your guest list.

You and your rsvp helpers must be prepared to say things like, "I'm sorry, but you've misunderstood. The invitation is only for two" and "I'm sorry but they won't be able to accomodate guests bringing guests of their own" and "They won't be having children."

If you DO want to allow someone to bring a date, you say "Is there someone special you'd like for me to send an invitation to?" and then send that person an invitation with his or her name on it. Consider how much more charming this is than a blanket "and guest" leaving the person to scare up a date if there isn't anyone special at the moment.

Two weeks after invitations go out, you and your helpers start calling those who have not yet called you. There is a bonus to making all these calls. Most people are going to ask what sort of gift to get. There is no polite way to bring this up yourself, but if they ask then you are free to tell them. Congrats and best wishes.

Answer 9

Hi and congratulations!
This is such a hard decision and only one that you and your fiance can make. This is discussed lots not only on this board, but on many others.

You have 2 choices:
Either invite, or don't invite.

If you choose not to invite, make sure the Reception Card of your invitation states, "Adult Reception will be held...." or something like that. I'm not sure if your family will be upset with this or not as none of us know them....only you and your fiance do....so if you think this will create "Family Feud", then possibly you should invite them.

My sister had children at her reception (very fancy, elegant, expensive too).....but the catering staff was able to serve them chicken fingers and fries (much to their delight!) If you decide to invite the children, check with your caterer if this is an option. She also had a "kids table" - older kids only - they seemed to enjoy it. Having a table all to themselves. Little kids sat with their parents.

That doesn't help you with your decision, I know, but it's just my two-cents! Good luck!

Answer 10

Address invites to parents only, if any one asks about children, just tell themthere is to be no children at the wedding, as they will be aware of this in advance it will give them plenty of time to find sitters, we had a no kids rule, any every one accepted it, a couple asked if they could bring their son , and i explained about no's etc.

Remember it is your wedding and it is common now for children not to be invited.