ok so i am getting married in about a year. my mom and dads side of the family hate eachother. i want both famlies at my wedding.i'm way closer to my moms side. my dad still loves my mom but my mom hates him. is there anyway i can have a happy wedding with both families? or should i just invite my moms side? i do not want two seperate weddings.
2007-09-16 05:41:15 · 25 answers · asked by KAT. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Talk to both sides and say you want them all there to enjoy in your special day and if they would PLEASE be civil to each other just that ONE time. If someone gives you crap then tell them they may not be invited.
2007-09-16 05:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by babidollishere 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This happens more than you know. The way people handle it is to seat the 2 families on opposite sides of the room. Actually, many people from both sides would prefer to ignore the other, and NOT engage on the wedding day. Most people have this much common sense. The trouble is only with that 1 or 2 that wants to mix it up. Just make sure they don't.
Having 2 weddings is ludicrous, it should not be done. Also, not inviting blocks of people is not really the answer either, unless they are guaranteed to cause trouble, or have stated that they will.
2007-09-16 12:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There may be quite a lot of bickering about the wedding up to the week of BUT when your family (both sides) see you on your day -- fighting amongst each other will be the last thing on their mind. What you have to do in the meantime is keep yourself focused on the wedding planning and less on other people's negative opinions. This includes family. For one day, they can set aside their personal differences and behave like adults -- remind them of this.
Just plan accordingly. Make sure the reception seating chart is set using some common sense (maybe Mom's family on one side, neutral friends in the middle, Dad's family on the other). If you must, get a wedding planner who can help you navigate through this ordeal. You're going to need a lot of support! Surround yourself with people who can be positive influences.
2007-09-16 13:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kat....This is my suggestion...Have a talk with both your mom and dad alone. Tell them your wishes and that you would like to have them both present at your upcoming wedding without any hard feelings or oral remarks towards each other. If they cannot respect your wishes on this issue then you will have to decide which one to invite or who not to invite. Tough decision although I would probably choose the Mom's side if your dad is the one that feels the hatred. I'm sorry you are having this conflict. Both sides should forget about their ill feelings for this one day...your wedding day! They need to show some respect for you as their daughter. I wish you all the luck in your married life and God Bless!
2007-09-16 12:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully your families can be civilized enough to put pettiness aside for YOUR day. If you want all of your family there just talk to your mom like an adult "he's still my dad and it's my wedding and though you may not care for him, I still want him to be there, and I would appreciate if you saw my side of this just for today"
and the best thing I can advise for a reception is a seating chart. That way everyone has their place and no one is sitting with people they don't like if someone else takes space at a table. It might take a little extra effort on your part but possibly keeping them seperated during that would be to your benefit as well.
2007-09-16 13:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Courtney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite both sides of the family, but tell them that this is your day. If they can't put aside their differences for you and start any trouble or cause friction that they will be asked to leave. That way its down to them if they attend.
My son got married last year and his father and I are divorced. His grandmother ( fathers side) said that if I or any member of my family were there she would not stay in the same room. This was the ultimatum she was given.. hence she didn't attend. My son has never spoken to her since and she has missed out on so much all down to her own stupidity. What annoyed her more was the fact that all her side of the family were there and we all had a wonderful day.
I really do hope that it all works out for you.
2007-09-16 13:30:04 · answer #6 · answered by Dory 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is the one who walks you down the isle. How can you not invite both sides of the family? You need to have a talk to with everyone involved. And whomever has a problem then you let them know they don't need to come. It's your day and everyone should be adult enough to behave. Your dad's family has just as much a right to be there as your mother's.
2007-09-16 12:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by Breezy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the focal point of this day. Forewarn both sides that they best not misbehave, because they're all invited and you will have none of them ruining your special day.
Designate a friend or family member to act as a bouncer to remove offending parties quickly in case things escalate. You may be surprised, but they may act more mature for your sake.
2007-09-19 16:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd be super rude if you excluded your father's family. They can feel the way they want about one another but if you are getting married, they should both be mature enough - ESPECIALLY your mother - to suck it up for one day and be civil. When you do seating arrangements, keep your mom's family on one side and your dad's family on the other. If I were you, I'd sit the both of them down and make them agree to being civil to one another. Let them know it's YOUR day, not theirs and they both need to get over it for a short period of time.
Good luck!
2007-09-16 15:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by Empress1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite who you want to invite, aka, both sides. If they can't handle being around each other for your special day they can A. not show or B. be removed if they cause an issue. I don't see any reason why you should have to exclude anyone you want to share your big day with.
2007-09-16 13:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR DAY - and your mother should put aside her feelings for YOUR sake. Do not become the "mediator" in this trivia - you get on with your life and your future and make it clear to both parties that this is YOUR DAY and like it or not this is the way it will be - PERIOD - and stick to your guns and make sure your future husband supports you. Otherwise, just "elope" and save the stress! and spend the money you save on a great honeymoon far away from all of the them. Good Luck and from one woman to another - U can do it!
2007-09-16 12:52:08 · answer #11 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋