Evolutionists, could I get your Lab techs to quit experimenting on my relatives?

Question

Now, I just had a bowl of science this morning for breakfast, but dangit, you atheist, evolutionist types are doing all kinds of Dr. Mengele experiments on the folks swinging in my family tree. Just last week, cousin Fredo, from the Bronx came home with two middle legs, and Aunt Lucky, bless her, now looks like a cross between Britney Spears and Whoopi. Aunt Lucky is also now worried about the fires of hell, and whether it is hot enough to melt her silicone implants, so, you evolutionist types out there, could you just experiment on yourself for a change? Before there are no monkeys left?

Answer 1

Yes but why are there still monkeys to experiment on in the first place

Answer 2

My guess is that you've been doing some experimenting yourself - try easing back on the hallucinogenic substances for a while and see if your thinking becomes clearer or whether your brain was always addled goo

Answer 3

OK, but first, you have to tell us - are the changes improvements? After all, we finally were able to separate your uncle Guido's eyebrow into 2 distinct, separate patches on his face. Yeah, they're stacked one on top of the other, but they ARE separate!

Answer 4

8 Track, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the Evolutionists have got you by the gonads because YOU ARE DIFFERENT AGAIN!


But on the good side, they have given you a very sophisticated look

Answer 5

PETA, a secular organization, is trying their best to help defeate all these nasty Atheist scientists harming your relatives.

Answer 6

Heehee-LOL-"two middle legs", that's too funny. Hope you're doing well these days.

Answer 7

the cure...how 1980s

Answer 8

we need to follow jesus christ