My boyfriend of 5 months, we were together every day, very happy together, I was never happier with anyone else. But I found out when I went away twice, he called my girlfriend and asked her out to eat dinner and watch movie. He also asked her if she is working when he is going on a business trip. (she is flight attendant). How he got her number is when she was at my house and he was there, he took her number from her cell phone without anyone's knowledge. I had suspision that my friend and him were flirting at my house that day so I stopped talking to my friend and had huge fight with my boyfriend. My friend told me this one day and I broke up with him. He says he is terribly sorry and his intention was not cheating but to fix my friendship with her.
I love him terribly and I was so happy. He says he feels terrible and will never happen again and it was mistake. Would you break up with him? Please help. I am in a lot of pain and it hurts.
2007-09-16 05:09:46 · 41 answers · asked by whattodo898 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He could be telling the truth but as a man, i think he's lieing. Why? If you broke off the friendship he should of went to you and told you not to let a friendship go so easily, he would of persuaded YOU to call and talk to her. You cant convince someone to fix a friendship in the movie theater. A movie theater is somewhat intimate and a place where you dont carry out long conversations. Sometimes doing what is best will cause temporarily hurt, but you will eventually get over it and realize it was for the best. Dont let love be your reason for sticking around and getting hurt. Your ex was deceiving and dishonest. Are those qualities you want in a boyfriend? Its sad he stooped so low to get your ex friends number. I feel you should stick to your first instinct and let time heal your wound. In noway did you make the wrong decision
2007-09-16 05:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by daddynard1010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
unfortunately his behavior goes beyond anything needed to patch up any friendship between you two. Besides if I understand correctly you and your friend only had a falling out AFTER and Because of his behavior with her? (which is why he feels terrible and now realizes it was Wrong)
In this case, trust yourself.
Overall 5 months - although it seems like a long time now -is only a drop in the bucket as far as relationships...
I rec. to maintain your "politeness" and exit the relationship with him...and down the road when you are ready you may be able to try to rekindle your friendship with your girlfriend (depending what happens between him and her and you). But speaking from experience if he started this nonsense now - it is a BIG RED FLAG and consider yourself fortunate to have discovered it early...rather than say 12 months from now or longer or worse ...(ie marriage) etc.
So, give yourself some credit, realize how you need to feel in a realtionship - and move on...but remember do it in a class way - you don't need your behavior coming back to haunt you. So be the bigger person.
Ok, well goodluck...
and remember do what is best for yourself - although painful now - but later, you will look back and be happy with your decision.
By doing so, this will allow you to understand just What you are looking for in a relationship (Romantic relationships, and True friendships), and it will give you the opportunity to find someone else who can provide it...
all the best.
M.
:)
2007-09-16 05:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by Michael T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what i'm understanding is that you thought she and your boyfriend were flirting that's why you had a fight with him, but now, you found out that he's been asking her to movies and finding out if she was working when he has business trips. Your friend told you this? the one you had a fight with? and he explained his actions by saying that he's trying to mend your friendship?
well, here's what i see. If your friend told you that tha'ts what he's been doing, then i dont think you guys were on bad terms when it happened, so what's the point of him trying to mend things for? Also, he took her number without anyone's knowledge BEFORE you and your friend had that fight right? If that's the case then his actions are questionable.
I wouldn't know what to advice you to do yet and my answer is full of questinos because your explantion isnt' clear enough. Sorry about that.
2007-09-16 05:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave him forever, but tell him that you need some time to think it over. During this time, which should take a more than one week, watch him, and watch your friend. If you see anything between them, then you really should dump him and try to move on as you can (it is possible even if you truly loved the person (experience)). This period of time should be lengthy, and if he asks you anything like "are you done 'thinking' yet?" or something like that, a sign like that could go either way, so try not to listen to him. When he says things like "but i love you and i'm really really sorry that I will NEVER do anything like that again!" try not to take that into consideration either. This will show him that he can work himself out of any pickle as long as he can talk sweetly. They usually never keep their promises anyway.
Like i said. Take it down for a little while and examine it. Try not to think about how much you love hi, but think of the situation in a logical way. "How is it treating me and I him?"
Your decision will come in time. But.. if I were you.. I'm a "no-nonsense" kind of person who would leave this guy at the sign of first manipulation. But that's just me. :)
I hope I helped! :)
2007-09-16 05:20:42 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Cute T ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a dam lie if he said he was trying to fix you and your friend relationship, because it was fine in the first place. Plus she wasn't your friend anyway she should of not had outside contact with your boyfriend without your knowledge, so get rid of her. Now with your ex BF if you love him you should tell him how you feel, but then have a weekend to yourself to have fun and mingle with other guys to see if you can really be with out him. But if I was you and I was feeling that way I think i would give me and him a break and le him know so i can just do so thinking but keeping in contact and then get back with him. But i wont take that long thinking b/c he might just find someone else. I am just putting in my opinion, do what your heart say.
2007-09-16 05:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest breaking up with him. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, but I think it's best in the long run. He may say he's sorry or that he'll never do it again, but how many times is that actually true? He just wants to get you back so that he feels needed or so that he can control you in some way. Don't let yourself get hurt and stay with him -- you deserve someone who loves you and not your best friend.
2007-09-16 05:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really miss him that much maybe you three should sit down and talk. Get everything out in the open. There is more going on here then just your bf relationship. You need to work on your friendship with your girlfriend. You should be able to truley feel what you need to do afterwards. Good luck
2007-09-16 05:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by danee1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't be trusted. It is a good thing you have a friend that cares enough to tell you. I know it hurts but you would be better off without him. Think about it, what gives him the right to touch her cell phone? He is sneaky and can't be trusted. Do you think out of the blue he just decided to do this? He was that type of person all along.
2007-09-16 05:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't happen again? It shouldn't have happened the first time! This guy is a practiced player. He knows just how to get what he wants and then he knows how to cry and carry on so you'll take the blame for his actions and he can be forgiven. He is no good. NONE! Leave him now or you'll find yourself in this very same place a year from now, only you'll be more attached to him. What a jerk!! You honestly need to dump him.
2007-09-16 05:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Aiden 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old are you anyway? This is really trivial.. You must know by your age that a "man" thinks of only one thing "constantly"!! Your so-called girlfriend knew what she was doing and your boyfriend was "suckered in"... Come on, and YOU get into a verbal fight with HIM. Bad girl, you should have slugged your so-called girlfriend. One reason I don't have one - never trusted girlfriends, they always want what you have. Borrow things and never return them and if they do, they never clean them. So if you want to keep your man, keep him to yourself. Never trust an other woman...
2007-09-16 05:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋