I lost my virginity to my married boss and I can't break it off because I've stupidly fallen for him. Christ

Question

Here's the thing, it happened about a year ago when he offered me $1000 for sex, which I thought was a weird joke that I turned down. But the tension was undeniable and I was eventually talked into it.

I bullshitted and said I had sex with two different people before but that was a lie that he eventually found out about. We had sex anyway, despite his protests during a momentary freak out about his wife.

Apparently he had waited until I turned 18 before he asked (he is 41) and he said that he only hired me because he wanted to **** me. Strangely, I don't feel bad about giving my virginity to my boss and not any of my ex-boyfriends.

I'm not trying to justify my actions but this has been going on for about 6 months and I CAN'T stop thinking about him and the next time we ****. I don't want to, but I have fallen for him. I think the best thing to do is to end it but I don't know how. And should I break it off, I know that I'll miss him and be completely heartbroken. Please help!

First of all, thank you for all the comments so far. I don't think I was specific so here are some more details:

1) He never said that he loved me, we never ever discussed the possibility of being a couple or him leaving his wife and I explicitly told him that I would never fall for him. Which is why it's so pathetic that I'm infatuated.

2) I never took the money for the sex. By then I had some feelings for him and I wanted to sleep with him; free of charge.

3) I've been told I'm an attractive person and there is no problems when it comes to hooking up at bars and clubs, but lately I just can't bring myself to even think about anyone else but him. The **** thing is that if if did find someone else it would distract me from this whole situation. Catch-*******-22

4) Finally, I have just admitted to myself that I was in denial about this for awhile. When it first started, I thought I could handle it but now I feel so suffocated by the hopelessness of my feelings for him. ****

Also, we have sex about twice a week and it's like I only live for those few hours. It's impacting on my life big time and I KNOW I should end it but it would cause me so much emotional distress I don't think I can face it. I'm such a coward.

It's like a drug addiction, I swear. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you I am the most grounded person in situations and almost nothing phases me but I've cried for hours over this guy.

The worst thing is I can't tell anyone about it, not my friends, my family or even him. I feel so goddamn alone.

Sorry this question turned into an epic essay type thing, but I'm trying to distract myself. It's not working.

Answer 1

First you need to realize that you're aiding in your boss' cheating business. My advice is get out, quit your job and sever ties with your boss. Second, you have to realize that you two will never be a legitimate couple. If he wanted to be with you, instead of use you for sex, he would've left his wife already. Even though you'll be heartbroken you need to think about the right thing to do and then do it.

Answer 2

i do no longer think of i will. once you're in a loving courting - and that i mean actual love, no longer teenage domestic dog love - and might have the means to develop a toddler in case of an accident, i think of this is o.k. to lose your virginity. the hassle with intercourse is - once you're fidgeting with intercourse, you're fidgeting with hearth. and that i do no longer choose to get burned suitable now. i'm 15 and that i'm purpose on staying a virgin until i'm.. a) In actual love b) In a good interest. i choose a good occupation until now i choose a toddler c) bodily, mentally and financially able to help a toddler if one comes My ultimate chum is a youngster mom and how she struggles! She tells me each and on a daily basis to no longer finally end up like her. I even have learnt from her errors, i certainly have. i choose to do nicely in existence and intercourse transformations lots. i've got self belief it would for me besides - i understand some human beings don't sense replaced by using intercourse. besides, I do have self belief that once you're *previous* and *mature* sufficient (take be conscious adolescents) and in a protracted term, loving courting, then intercourse is okay. there is an age of consent for a reason. and that i generally sense as though i'm the only one that takes know that. So, no, i do no longer think of i will attend til i'm married. yet I generally say this: this is not any longer consistently black and white. Have intercourse underage or stay abstinent til marriage. No, it do no longer paintings that way. I appreciate people who choose to attend. this is their decision and that they've my comprehensive help. reward - much less threat of STDs; much less threat of being pregnant disaster (as in you would be extra arranged if to procure pregnant); Being extra respected risks - If i'm frank, I easily can not say there's a disadvantage to waiting til marriage :)

Answer 3

Sounds like u have an addiction to fight through. First of all u need to look inside your heart and ask urself if this is the kind of lifestyle you want for the rest of your life. Second, u need to ask urself if u ever want to find teh guy of your dreams. If you do then u need to address this issue asap as this addiction will only get stronger if you dont find the fix for it somehow.
If you just need to talk just shoot me an email sometime, ive been known to be a very good listener:)

Answer 4

OMG. You need to find yourself another job, pronto. He's a freak who's taken advantage of a young girl, and all he's going to do is continue using you. He has no feelings for you, all you are is a piece of a**. You need to quit right away, for your own sake. That slimeball didn't deserve your virginity. It will be easier to quit thinking about him when you don't see him every day. You CAN change things, you know. Nothing good can come from this. Start looking, girl, you can do it!!!

Answer 5

Difficult to say as you have already fallen for him.
First of all you need to grow up a little in life as
with him you will only become a loser as he is not
and will not be with you as you are too young and
he is only using your body. If you want respect
then you need to start earning it by not letting any
man use you for your body parts, and if you ever
want to be happý in life then you need to change
the path you are going down as you are young
enough to start anew and let these men know that
you are not the one that they can use. Be a
woman, be strong, and walk straight with your head
up high and let these men out there know that you
are a woman that deserves respect and that none
of them can use you.

Answer 6

Hey, you know that guy is married. Your relationship will never work.

If you had fallen for him, I suggest you see a counseller. Many women like you also feel like that. But this can never work! You must end it.

More importantly, you must realise he is just making use of you. A man who truly loves you will never think of sex. I don't think he is sincere. I don't think he loves you!

Stop it now. Resign from your company. This cannot go on.

Answer 7

wait until his wife finds out... watch him fire you and screw you over... i know what youre going through, been in the almost exact situation... you have to break it off, or else you will be going through this over and over again.. just being used and treated like trash. he's never going to be with you. he's married and obviously he loves his wife. i suggest you QUIT and move on... it's the best thing for you and your head.

Answer 8

You got tricked. You didn't just loose your virginity you became his wh*re for a thousand dollars. Get a new job and never F for money again

Answer 9

You painted yourself in a corner on this one hun. I'd find another job if I were you. And your boss should be facing sexual harrassment charges. If you were smart, you'd file charges against him. What a freakin slime ball!

Answer 10

Next time he wants to **** you tell him it will cost $2000.