So about 8 months ago, my boyfriend's ex put in her buddy info something about me being unattractive. She saw my picture on his myspace page (she's not his friend, she was just looking at his page). He got mad at her and deleted her from his buddy list and said he was blocking her. A few months ago, he had IM open and I saw that she was back on his buddy list. Since she crossed the line and started talking about me, I put her on my buddy list and see what her info says because I want to see if she's talking sh!t about me again or leaving messages for him. Is this out of line?
I'm not mad at him because she does it but the fact that she's leaving messages for him in her buddy info and he has her on his buddy list drives me up the wall. He has a long history with this girl and she wants to get back with him (even though she's married) so I don't trust her. If they're keeping tabs on each other, I feel like I need to keep tabs on her. Just want to know what people think.
2007-09-16 03:20:04 · 15 answers · asked by abrennan01 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Should I tell him that I do it?
2007-09-16 03:27:18 · update #1
You need to trust your bf and know that it doesn't matter if she's on his buddy list or not.
I did the exact same thing with my ex, he had this friend and I just knew that she was after him. I kept checking her myspace because I felt so threatened. I became obsessed, and I realized that I didn't trust him enough in our relationship and we eventually broke up. Trust, trust, trust, and go with your instincts. If you can't trust your guy to talk to his ex and stay faithful to you, then you need to break it off. If he finds out you've been doing so, he'll think you don't trust him and that'll create a whole mess of problems. I wouldn't say you're out of line, though.
2007-09-16 03:34:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really gonna hurt the trust between u and ur bf when u see the replies this person has. Maybe u should just ignore her and get her name off ur buddy list. Why should some third party unecessarily hurt the trust between u and ur boyfriend? I think you should also talk to ur bf bout why he has her name on his buddy list. Don't be angry if he doesn't want to remove her name from the list and don't get suspicious too.Chat with her if u want to and show that u're not as bad a person as she's making u out to be but let ur bf know if u're gonna do tt. That way, he'll know u trust him and that would just improve the relationship between the two of u! Hope this helps!
2007-09-16 10:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by juggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not the problem, he is. She can only do what he allows her to do. He is the one you should be mad at and the one you should not trust since he decided to allow her back onto his buddy list. If you are his girlfriend he should have nothing to do with her, and he is the one that needs to end things. It sounds like he is enjoying her attention and is disrespecting you. He is not being honest with you.
2007-09-16 10:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by ladyc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whos side is he on? I would be very upset that he has her back on his buddy list as he took the time to put her back on even after what she said about u, how childish could she be? i bet shes no oil painting!!!
I would ask him why hes still in contact with her!
2007-09-16 10:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by thatgurrlagain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't blame you for wanting to keep tabs on her. It's probably a good idea. You should talk to your boyfriend though about how you feel or else it could just build up and stress you out beyond measure.
2007-09-16 10:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by crystal_of_ravenclaw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your man is probly a liar. if he deleted her and honestly didnt care then she wouldnt be back on there. theres one thing guys are good at and thats sneaking around. so look at the facts hunny, you said they have a long history andd obviously she still loves him or is playing with his head if shes going to go to the level of making fun of you. and who the **** is married and has a buddy list and worrys about making fun of you. sound very stupid and immature to me. i mean i dont know you personaly but i know guys and if all your man does is tell you he dosent want her and she keeps coming on to him, but there she is again on his buddy list after he deleted her, thats obviously his choice
2007-09-16 10:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by catherine m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are obsessing about others too much.... perhaps spend your spare time in a more productive manner?
If you are worried about your boyfriend's ex, and dont' trust your boyfriend, then break up and move on.
This is too much drama.... If you have self-confidence, then USE IT.... and stop letting the actions and opinions of others affect your life.
It's not worth it.
2007-09-16 10:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore it, if you start to keep tabs on him he's going to think you don't trust him. He picked you, he's with you..be happy about that and continue to love and trust him.
2007-09-16 10:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keeping track of her...when in actuality you should be wondering more about why your boyfriend is keeping track of her and communicating with her.
I think you're worrying about the wrong person here - you should be asking "Why does he..."
2007-09-16 10:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need to confront your man and let him know how you feel. You might be overreacting but that's still YOUR feelings. At the end of the day, you need to please yourself and if his actions are making you unhappy, you need to correct that situation so that you're happy.
2007-09-16 10:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by eno.geo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋