My son asked for a big amount of money a year ago for him to start a business which I willingly gave him. Then after a year, it his business didn't worked out and now he's asking for additional money which I can't give to him because I dont have enough money. He's 30 yrs old already.
2007-09-16 02:43:23 · 21 answers · asked by Socorro B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him you dont have it, simple as that! You cant give him money you dont have can you?
In fact, since he is brave enough to ask for more money, I would take the opportunity to remind him that you are still waiting for him to return the money he already owes you.
You have to tell him that he has to work out a way to raise the money himself - i.e. maybe he can work parttime or something. Dont yield to this pressure - at his age HE should really be looking after YOU if anything!
2007-09-16 02:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by Chimera's Song 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you've subsidised him (generously) once, and he's failed to make a go of his business. You say "what should I do?", but as you can't now afford to give him what he's asking for, just tell him that and say no!
If he's 30, he's old enough and ought by now to be experienced enough to know that parents are not under an obligation to come up with the goods whenever their adult children ask. He should also (after the failed business venture) by now have more common sense, decency and respect for you than to come to you again, cap in hand, for further support.
He is acting like a much younger, less experienced and very insensitive person, and as his father, it's now your duty to tell him to find the finance elsewhere. If his second project is well thought out and financially viable, there are other sources for business loans. He'll get one if the proposition is sound. If it's not, they'll tell him! And it might be that he needs to be told.
Why did he come to you in the first place, at the age of 29, when most people would have gone to a bank or business finance company? If he did that and they turned him down, you were his only hope. If banks and loan companies turn down a propostion, it's because they know it isn't financially credible. They WANT to lend - but they also want to be as sure as they can that they'll get a return on their investment.
If he makes any trouble when you turn him down, ask him point blank why he didn't get finance from a bank for the first, failed project. If he admits that he did ask, but they wouldn't lend, you'll know why. And if he didn't tell you this before you made him the first loan, you'll also know that he hasn't been up front and truthful with you.
You already know he's not the best judge of a viable business set up, and if he confirms your suspicions that he borrowed from you because no bank would touch his proposals, you'll know they were deeply flawed and that he's heading for another failure. You'll also know that he'd been told as much by the bank before he approached you.
Don't put yourself and your future in financial jeopardy to help him out again. Let him deal with it. It's his choice, it's his life. You should stay out of it.
wimsey
2007-09-16 03:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's no longer a child so stop treating him like one.
This is your fault, he started a business and should have been made to work for it like most people do, he should have been made to try the banks and investment companies like everyone else.
You've probably given him handouts all his life, bailed him out of money problems, etc and that's how you came to the point of lending him some serious cash.
At sometime he has to grow up and stand on his own feet without constantly asking his mum for money, and that time was probably over 5 years ago!!!
I wouldn't ever ask my parents for money, certainly not at the age of 30 either, (some time ago) you have dug a hole for yourself and you must not lend him a penny more or he will never become the self sufficient man he should be.
Lend him more? You should be asking him how he's going to pay you back what he already owes you.
2007-09-16 02:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if you can't afford it. Just tell him that.
Many people have the dream of having their own business and being self employed. Realistically most businesses fail.
Since your son is old enough where he should be able to care for his own financial needs you should let him know that though you'd like to see his business work, which I'm sure you do. It isn't your responsibility to make sure it does. Most businesses don't take off over night and it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to work someplace at least part time to help fund his business.
If he's serious about keeping his business going he should go to traditional methods of securing business financing or investors or acknowledge it won't work and close his business. Asking for your help isn't fair as combining family with business seldom ever works well.
2007-09-16 03:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by Riot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't expect you had a written agreement regarding the original amount, or how it was to be paid back. Presumably it was a gift. If you are unable or unwilling to let him have any more money, either as a gift or as a loan, the kindest thing will be to tell him straight out that it won't be possible, and put a stop to him planning or wondering about it.
2007-09-16 03:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by proud walker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to say no. Your son is an adult and has to take responsibility for his own life. You tried to help in the past when you were able. This time you're not able. Just be honest with him. Tell him you'd love to be able to help him but your not in a position to do that this time. Encourage him to either apply for a loan or get a job and save up until he has enough to do whatever it is he wants to do. The apron strings have to be cut sometime. There's no time like the present.
2007-09-16 03:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say no. There is nothing to feel guilty about. There are alternative means for someone launching a business to acquire funding besides mommy or daddy. If these alternative sources are not willing to back or support his venture maybe it's not a solid business idea. Love does not mean always saying yes and if he loves you he will understand that you are making a business choice for your own financial well being and respect your choice, if he gets upset he needs to grow up. Be loving, but be firm, and above all do not allow yourself to feel guilt.
2007-09-16 02:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by Wolfen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't give him any more - you've already helped him out more than enough
if he's keen to start his own business he should draw up a business plan and get it financed through the bank
you're not helping him by throwing good money after bad - after all he is 30 and should know better
2007-09-16 02:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by cornyginger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight..you simply don't have the money. You helped him once already - thats a lot more than some people's parents would do.
He's 30 years old, why can't he get a loan from the bank?
2007-09-16 08:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a job and earn his own money! The sooner you let him stand on his own two feet the sooner he will grow up and learn that life is not about taking all of the time and he has to give something to the community too!!
2007-09-19 04:22:09 · answer #10 · answered by bevalou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋