I have a girlfriend, whom I've been seeing for about 2/3 years. She lives about 200 miles from me, and I feel like I don't want the relationship to go on anymore, as she is quite controlling with me-
even though she acts nice to me, which makes it hard.
I just want to know how I can let her down gently, dont get me wrong I still care for her, but I can't picture myself being happy in 5 years if I'm still with her. But I don't want her to feel not good about it... I know that's ineveitable but I just want to make it as painless as possible...
Plus as I haven't really broken up with people very much before Its a subject Im not very good at. Any help would be greatly appreciated thankyou....
2007-09-16 01:13:41 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Shag her one last time then tell her as your doing your trousers up.
works a treat trust me
2007-09-16 01:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
This is not going to be painless, for either one of you. You have to tell her that you are not happy, and that you need to move on and give her the opportunity to find someone that can give her some happiness. Explain that you would like to talk at some time, but that for right now a clean break is the best. DON'T ANSWER any phone calls from her for at least a couple months. You have to then go out and start looking for someone that you can enjoy that is close to you, Distance can be a killer in a romance.
2007-09-16 01:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you could do is be totally honest with her about how you feel and what you want. Let her know the truth. You can use the distance between the two of you as an advantage to you. Let her know that you have been struggling with her being so far away, and you cannot keep doing that. You can also tell her that you have a lot going on in your life right now, and you need to be alone so that you can find yourself again and figure out what it is you want in your life.
2007-09-16 01:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really do need to talk seriously to her and tell her how you feel, and that you dont think the relationship is working anymore, because of distance. You dont have to bring in the "controlling" thing if you want to, you can use the distance as your main reason. If she carries on pushing you, try politely telling her that you both have different ways of dealing with life, and you want to break up now before you end up really hating each other and making each others lives a misery. You do have to break off the relationship, it isnt fair to EITHER of you to carry it on. It will be upsetting for you both, even you who is the one doing the breaking up, but you will both get over it and move on in life.
2007-09-16 01:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not like she lives near you so that makes it easier. I had to break up with a boyfriend who lived far away from me aswell. It was the first dumping i had ever had to do and I did it over the phone. Said it was making me unhappy and that we'd both be better off apart. Some people say to do it face-to-face but why make them or yourself pay to travel to see them only to dump them...not fair. So i see nothing wrong with doing it over the phone....preferably during an argument as this makes it much easier. Then DO NOT get back with her. Change your number maybe.
Good Luck...Don't chicken out. Trust me, as soon as you've said those few words you will feel soooooo relieved.
2007-09-16 01:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by Cornish_Pasty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can u change her? relationship here is more of knowing each other n to learn from both party. what do u really want in a relation? i don't encourage breake off nor do i agree in continue in an unhappy relation, for i believe that it take two to start. have a talk n discuss it to her about how u fell? find out more why she's like that? n will she b happy if u're like that to her? let her know that u want some space too. don't spaculate, just b truthfull.
2007-09-16 01:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by tale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her how you feel. Be honest and let her know that you do not want to continue the relationship with her anymore. Sure, she may get hurt but that is what happens when you break up.
2007-09-16 01:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you break up with someone you have known over two years you should do it face to face. Its scary but more moral and you will feel better for it after the initial emotion.
By the way, its not a 'dilemma' just a frequent problem in life.
Good luck.
2007-09-16 01:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you care for her but that you are through AND WHY you are through.
Next, since she is controlling, do not take her calls, texts or emails and return cards and letters unopened.
Be honest, direct and answer any questions she has but never beyond the last phone call!
Best of luck!
2007-09-16 01:19:48 · answer #9 · answered by ANGEL Baby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey there is never a good time to do this and delaying it is pretty much just painful so just say its not working you don't wana hurt her and hope she's happy in whatever she does (don't do the lets be friends thing cos that can only come with time, sometimes never).
2007-09-16 01:43:54 · answer #10 · answered by shorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you can't help it whether you like it or not if the girl still loves and cares for you she would be hurt when you broke up.. just be honest with her and don't give her the usual reasons like.. its not you it's me reasons, tell her what you really feel.
2007-09-16 01:21:53 · answer #11 · answered by aquila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋