Why does the present generation send their parents to old age homes?

Question

It seems they have forgotten what their parents have did for them and brought them up......

Answer 1

I've worked for many years in a nursing home and I ask myself this question alot. Sometimes it is understandable because of Dementia, Alzheimer's and other diseases that can cause people to hurt themselves or others. These people require 24hr care. But on the other hand, I have had people tell me things like"I can't take care of mom anymore because she pees on my furniture!". Oh my gosh, how many times as children did we pee on thier furniture? So many times these people are placed and forgotten. It is so sad. My mother is 77 years old and was such a wonderful mother, I would do anything for her. I believe as adults we have to find time and set it aside to take care of our elderly parents. Its part of life. It is our chance to give a little back for everything they did for us. What a blessing to be able to do this!!

Answer 2

Sometimes parents need more care than children are physically able to provide. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have to go to an old age home. If a parent is put in there and forgotten, yes it's bad.
My great aunt recently went into an assisted living facility, and she's happier than she ever was at home. At home, her kids would stop by and see her at least once a day if not more, and so would my mom (her niece) and I but she still seemed depressed most of the time. In this facility, she has people her own age to socialize with and activities. How is that a bad thing?

Answer 3

The main problem is that everything available at the drawing room now. Even to book a cinema ticket we can do it from home in minutes. To contact a person we used to go to that place earlier as most people did not have telephones also. Now a person can be contacted in seconds even if he is anywhere in the planet. So this boredom has lead to loosing interest.

Answer 4

What do you mean "present generation"? That's a pretty broad statement and its inaccurent. My parents are in their late 70's, they had to put my great aunt into a nursing home recently because they are simply not healthy enough themselves to take care of a 96yr old woman who cannot walk to the bathroom any longer. I'm in my 50's and have had a stroke, I can't carry her either. My in-law's had to put my husbands aunt into a nursing home because she developed terminal brain cancer at the same time we were caring for my mother in law's terminal cancer at home. My retarded aunt had to be put into a nursing home when she also developed alheimers in her 80's and became violent, to herself and to others.

When I married in the 70's, both my husbands grandparents were in nursing homes, they were in their 80's and both had dementia and had had strokes and since my father in law was a career navy officer and they were still being shipped all over the place, they couldn't take care of them. I worked two jobs and my husband worked nights and we were 22 and living in a walk up efficiency apartment. We couldn't care for them either.

This generation isn't any different than any other generation. Nursing homes have existed since people started living past 40. Do you expect your children to take care of you? I didn't raise mine to do that, I won't be a burden on them. My kids, like everyone else's didn't ask to be born, that was my choice. To put them in that position is reprehensiable.

If people would plan ahead, and purchase long term care insurance, they could stay in their own home if they want to.

Answer 5

Sometimes parents have medical needs that require 24 hour nursing care. Wiping my parent's butts or changing dressings would not be my idea of something that should be expected of me.

You chose to have children. It doesn't mean they are obligated to sacrifice their lives for you. They may love you, but you raised them. Did you raise them to feel love and compassion or to be selfish brats? What do you really expect them to do?

We bought a house with a separate bungalo in the backyard in case our parents ever need our help. I would hire in help for their medical needs. My parents would never expect me to drop my life and my family to meet all their needs. They would do what they could to be as independent as possible and would be horrified to be a bother. I would do my best to help of course, but to a point. If the care they needed turned into years of 24 hour nursing, we would have to consider other options.

Trade places with your children. What demands do they have on them? Perhaps you can have their help without taking over their lives. Most children would be more than happy to do all they could for their parents, but we all have limits.

Answer 6

A lot of times, it's harder to take care of aging parents because of dementia and Alzheimer's. Even if one has a background in medical society, it's still hard to take care of one's parents, simply because it's hard to disassociate emotion from clinical care.

Answer 7

Sometimes they have children of their own and have jobs so they cannot look after them all day-you shouldn't judge people.

Answer 8

sometimes their kids can't support them and their own family, so they think they are doing the right thing i guess

Answer 9

They don't want the responsibility. They want the easy way out. Lack of respect, lack of love, lack of concern.