what do i say?

Question

i am in college and was reading this other girl's essay for a peer review. in it she wrote how she was sexually abused by her dad and uncle as a child and how her family was torn apart over this. is there something i should say next time i see her? i only sit by her. i mean i don't really talk to her. i know this type of abuse is not easy for anyone. i don't want to say anything if i don't have to because i don't want to bring up any sad feelings. any suggestions?

to whoamireally- i was thinking the same thing but wasn't sure. yea, im not her friend, just sit next to her. she is a nice person though.

thanks, all very good helpful tips. now i can sleep and know that i don't have to feel obligated to say anything.

Answer 1

Don't say a word about the abuse unless she brings it up. Comment on how the essay was. But, she is obviously open about it, or she wouldn't be handing her life story in as an assignment.

Answer 2

Part of a peer review situation is keeping confidentiality. Your situation is alittle hard because you naturally want to reach out. If she knows you read her essay, then I would simply at some point say, "you know these peer reviews are hard when its such personal information, and I never know what to do. But I reviewed your essay, and I just wanted to tell you that if you ever need to talk, I'll listen."

My guess is if she is able to put it down on paper, she's getting help. If you are uncomfortable with the direct approach, then just treat her as you normally do.

Answer 3

Well you don't really say much to her anyway,so I think you should just stay mutual and smile,if she is sad or someone is teasing her then just make general conversation with her or comfort her,but don't go out of your way to bring the subject up,as although she mentioned it,she might not want to let everyone know her business,only if she starts talking about it then I think you should listen and talk about it.

The key thing to remember is she might feel like people are only really getting closer to her because they know,so just be polite and friendly enough for her to know it's OK to share anything with you.

Answer 4

tell her that you have read her peer review, then start a nice conversation, make her think positive, most people that were abused used to talk about their negative feelings at their past, that's why they really need someone that could drive them to be positive again

Answer 5

dnt say nethng if she doesn't bring the topic up.such abuses make a person very sensitive.u may b having gud intentions but she may take u wrong.so its btr nt to bring up ths topic until she does.dnt b sympathetic just b friendly.

Answer 6

Dont say a thing. It isnt your pace. Act if nothing happened. If they want to talk they will. You cant FIX what may be wrong. THe best thing is to do nothing because you dont have a previuos relationship.

Answer 7

Don't say anything, just be as much of a friend to her as comes naturally. If more develops then that's fine and maybe you can be more of a friend and help her.

Answer 8

if you just sit by her and arn't good friends i won't say anything. thats a very personal subject and she might not want to talk about it with just anyone

Answer 9

Write your own essay about what you think of pedophiles and how you would love to hang them by their balls.

Answer 10

no leave it. if you arent amazingly good friends. dont say anything, it might be condiered nosey.