I am religious girl with conservative values and I am a neat freak. I made these issues crystal clear to all potential roommates when I was considering candidates for renting out my other two spare bedrooms.
I specifically spelled the following two points out:
(1) I need the common areas clutter free (I take care of cleaning) just don't leave your stuff out in common areas and
(2) I don't want men (even serious boyfriends) over as guests.
This is a high demand area and I had the right to be picky.
I spelled all of this out to my housemate before she signed a one year lease. She said it would be no problem. She would hang out with her boyfriend at his place.
I specifically said that this arrangement is not for everyone and if she had any reservations then this was not the place for her.
Now she's started to leave clutter and unwashed pots and pans on counter-tops and she had her boyfriend over, got drunk and now hes sleeping over.
I'm really upset about this. Any advice?
2007-09-16 00:28:37 · 8 answers · asked by Sam 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am not as religious or as conservative as you sound and this would bother me! Why? Because you were upfront with her about the house rules BEFORE she signed a lease. And also because you have every right to make these rules - it's your house! I'm also on the neat side and wouldn't want to pick up after someone else, let alone, run into some drunk guy on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night! Ugh!
Maybe this isn't 100% mature, but I would start cleaning the house - accidentally clinging her dirty pots and pans while getting them into the sink so that I could wash them...running the vacuum cleaner, etc. That'll wake their drunk butts up and I'm sure they won't be happy about it, so when they say something, just say, "Oh; I'm sorry...there were all of these dirty dishes left on the sink and we can't have them just sitting there"...act surprised about her boyfriend being there and ask her if he's her brother.
Once he leaves, sit down with her and tell her that this goes against your values and your rules and that it CANNOT happen again. Ask her if she remembers the conversation you had with her before she signed the lease and let her know that "If this is going to be a problem, then maybe it's best if you find another place to live so that you can rent out the room to someone who can and will abide by the rules".
2007-09-16 02:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are any of the rules spelled out in the lease if so give her notice that she is violating the lease and that she has 30 days to vacate the house. Send this notice to her by registered mail keeping a copy for yourself. I would also tell her that if the boyfriend shows up you will ask him to leave if he does not you will call the police and have him removed. You are the landlord and have rights the same as she does look up your rights and responsibilities on line and lock up your good things as they may disappear or get accidental broken.
2007-09-16 01:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are these her pots and pans or do they belong to the house.? If they are hers then get a nice box and put them in it and leave it on her bed. Along with everything else she does not put up.
Has her boyfriend been over more then once or was this a one time thing..? If is was more then once then say something to her, if not, let it be, maybe she did not want him to drive drunk..
2007-09-16 01:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk with her after the boyfriend leaves. Remind her of the expectations she agreed to when moving in. This will be her verbal warning. Her next warning can be eviction papers.
Oh and I have a feeling she'll blame the alcohol for her behavior, you don't want to be responsible for a woman who gets drunk and can't control her actions.
2007-09-16 01:40:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice for you is to have a roommate meeting. Remind her of the specific requirements you needed in a roommate. Be kind and do it gently to avoid a huge blow up. Basically ask her to be more considerate and to contain the mess to her room.
2007-09-16 03:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you should think why is this so important to you, and try to explain it to her. Try to hear her side of the story, and to think about it. Tell her that she has to respect your rules, or that she can't live with you. If I were you, I wouldn't tolerate that boyfriend thing again, and would tell her to leave (you'll have to consult with your lawyer about that one year lease), but I wouldn't kick her out for leaving things around, but I would seriously argue with her about that.
Good luck with your housemate!
2007-09-16 01:24:37 · answer #6 · answered by magtrut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in actuality, you have the rights to ask her honoring her challenge. even nevertheless, if I have been you, i could in basic terms insist on cleanliness and could haven't any compromise. on the boyfriend situation, as long because of the fact the boyfriend behaves and continues to be in her room, i could tolerate, supplied its a question of on and rancid and not an eternal stay. in any different case i could kick the two one among them out! each and every of the suited/!
2016-11-14 14:09:42 · answer #7 · answered by hurlbut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be really upfront and go over what you said initially and tell her that you have noticed that these things have been happening and that she will need to change things or review her living situation.
2007-09-16 02:47:16 · answer #8 · answered by scatty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋