i've been going out with my fella for 6 years,we've a healthy sex life,we like trying new things. we did try anal sex a few times before but i've found it extreemely painful and uncomfortable... now recently he's been asking to try it again and when i refuse it's sure to end in a row. i've tried to explain to him but it never seems to get through. i feel i'm not able to satisfy him any more. has any body ever had this experence and could you please tell me how you delt with it.
2007-09-15 23:42:29 · 15 answers · asked by ashanti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dear ashanti,
no one... no one has the right to impose their sexual anything on another person... hello? the guy should get on his hands and knees and give thanks that his woman was open minded enough to try it more than once to make certain she's definitely not into something!
and good for you for communicating what you do and do not like... and what you will and will not do!
his insistence dispite your wishes and his behavior/ request eventually turning to a row is a symptom that something is not right in your relationship. it's not about sex. it's about respect, or lack thereof.
good luck!
2007-09-15 23:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Cassor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a legit question, but it has a simple answer. Tell him NO. If he cares about you, he would not want your "healthy sex life" to be a negative one for you. Sometime you need to stand up for yourself and by telling him no, you are helping your relationship. These kinds of questions can only be fixed by you talking to him. There is no magic way to deal with this. Simply you and him talkin it out. I know you have said you have tried to talk to him, but do it again, be nice, but make sure he gets the point. Tell him just like you told us. Hope this helps, good luck.
2007-09-16 06:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a similar incident not with anal, actually giving head, I think if he can't be mindful of your feelings, and your choices.
I think that you should cut him loose, under no circumstance's should someone whom proclaims they love you ever get angry with you. No means No.
I think that that area is only mean't for one thing! Good Luck Mate, But if I were you I would be getting rid of him.
2007-09-16 06:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) That $h!t is painful!
2) he can't just put his thing in there like that, you have to like let him play with it, touch it something. (make you comfortable with it)
3) Tell him you are not a porn lady and that that $h!t hurts, and that he's an asshole for making you feel bad enough to have to second guess your guys relationship.
If it dosen't feel good then try something else. Go to Borders Books and buy a sex book there fun and informational.
P.S You are not alone I know A LoT of women who think that that pain is unbearable!!!
2007-09-16 06:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by ♥100%BayLady♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It’s good to try new things but if it's not comfortable then why should u repeat it. You should say him that it’s hurting you. Ask him that do you want to give me pain and discomfort?
Blackmail him emotionally. talk with him about love & respect. Oh! Try to do new things that give both of you guys comfort. Have fun :-)
2007-09-16 06:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by freeze_fellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that YOU are willing to try again as soon as HE allows you to penetrate his rectum with something exactly the size of his package.
Also he probably needs to be told that the majority of normal women do not engage in this. Your rectum is not designed to have anything inserted.
I tried it once as well - not going there again anytime soon...
2007-09-16 06:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by audacious440 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes i was aked to try this once...only got a minuite into it and your right...omg ouch...no way would i ever do this again...
tell him ...look it really hurts and i really dont want to do it again...ask him if he wouls like a dildo up his bum and see what his response it to that...cos im sure he wouldnt.
just say its a no 4ever...and i really dont blame you...
hes not a very nice person in that way if he doesnt respect your wishes on it and makes an argument...he should be grateful that you tried it and whilling to try most things.x
2007-09-16 06:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love does not ask you to do any thing that makes you uncomfortable. It might be time to re-evaluate the whole relationship.
2007-09-16 06:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by territizzyb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok well i think you should tell him the truth tell him that it hurts and you find it uncomfortable tell him straight he should understand and if he doesnt thats his problem he will miss out dont do anything you dont want to!
2007-09-16 06:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by *@ng3l* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he care and love you, he will understand, if not, tell him where to go, he may in fact prefer guys.
2007-09-16 06:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋