im now in Afghanistan in the british army.the other week my girl friend told me that she got wasted and someone took advantage of her and slept with her she can not remember a thing had to ask her friend if he used i comdon or not. we say we love each other and she does this what do u think i should do?
2007-09-15 21:58:16 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i spoke to her the same night she was wasted! i think she is really sorry about it and it was a big mistake.
2007-09-15 22:34:29 · update #1
Only your heart can really answer that question Dave. I am sorry this had to happen especially while you're in no situation were you can go see her and talk it over face to face.
But ask yourself if this is going to remain something that will always be there at the back of your mind,can you totally forgive her and forget the incident.
If you can then you will be able to overcome this and move forward in your relationship.
If there is going to be any question of doubt at all regarding trust in the future, then my advise to you is, that it would be better to finish the relationship. As mistrust and the inability to put this aside will eventually tear you apart anyway.
These things do unfortunately happen and I can pick up that you are mature enough to understand this and maybe you can even understand how and why they do happen.I do hope so.
Your girlfriend is more than likely feeling totally shattered and guilt ridden by the realisation of what happened.
Her feelings of self worth and the very real fear of loosing you, the man she loves will be weighing pretty heavy on her heart.
Remember above all she has been totally honest with you. When she could have perhaps lied about it and kept it as a secret that you may never have known anything about.
That itself speaks volumes in her favour of her character above everything else.
I wish you the best possible outcome for what has been for both of you, a horrid ordeal.
2007-09-15 22:44:42 · answer #1 · answered by sistablu...Maat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have been fed a date-rape drug, which is why she can't remember. It was a mistake to get drunk, but we all make mistakes. Did she sleep with a friend? He took advantage of her, that's awful. Think about what you know about her character and her maturity? Is this out of character? Or an overall symbol? Also, ask what she really wants. She may be emotionally scared because you're in harm's way and can't express that, or she may be ready to play around and doesn't want to say it. Only you can decide what's the right thing to do now.
2007-09-15 22:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Τhe first question is if you have the strenght to take it. Can you live with, knowning that while you are in the army, away from your home, your girlfriend is doing things like that, and is very possible she will do it again? Can you trust her again? Apart from that, the girl may love you, i dont disagree, but she doesnt know how to hold her self from not doing things that hurt her beloved ones. So, i think you should break up with her, or you give her the right to use silly excuses for ever. Think about it.
2007-09-15 22:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by s_indiangirl15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be the date rape drug at work. It could be that she's fibbing and feels guilty. If you know the guy involved or any other person that was there that night, you may want to ask them about the evening leading up to the event. How was she/he acting? Was she/he agressively flirting before things escalated? Was she truely drunk out of her mind?
Find out what you can. Then make a decision. If she thinks she was raped, she should report it ASAP.
2007-09-15 22:11:22 · answer #4 · answered by MJ3000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't sound very ready for commitment and i'm sure you don't need the stress of wondering if she's behaving herself. Take a break and if she gets herself together and shows genuine interest in making it work, be willing to work w/ her. Don't totally give up, ppl make mistakes, just don't let them make the same one twice!
2007-09-15 22:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by charmed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you're in Afghanistan, what can you do? Listen to what she has to say, but stay focused on your mission and don't let this distract you and your safety. And if you have to, tell her you just can't deal with this right now. But if it starts keeping you unfocused then figure out what you need to do to get it back. You can deal with it when you get home safe.
2007-09-15 22:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by Shel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither she is pregnant with someone else and doesn't want to tell you and that is say she just made up a story, so u could feel sorry for her and forgive her. I think you need to move on and find someone that will respect you when you are in the States.
2007-09-15 22:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie A. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she believes she was raped, she should report it.
I'm not buying it though... For some reason I get the feeling she got wasted drunk and slept with some guy, but wanted to confess and this is the best she could come up with.
Sorry. :(
2007-09-15 22:04:18 · answer #8 · answered by 1M9 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a guy can and must never forget a girl who cheated on him , but girls can sometimes forgive the guy who cheated.
My advice is do not forgive her, because I don't think that is an excuse for her. How can someone have sex and don't realize it and don't remember it, if you forgive her she is going to do it again, and everytime it is going to be the same excuse and same thing.
2007-09-15 23:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by LG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's got serious personal problems. If she got so wasted that she doesn't remember a thing, how does she know he took advantage of her? She has a serious drinking problem.
It sounds like you need to let her go. You can't fix her problems and she's not ready for a serious relationship.
2007-09-15 22:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋