About dating ages, relationships, and legality...?

Question

In the US, you are an adult the day you turn eighteen. If you have sex with someone who is 18 and you are 17-- the 18yo is said to be "raping" you. Even if you consent, the person is good to you, and they never forced you or hurt you-- they still go to jail because of something you agreed to.

Shouldn't consequences be decided on a case-by-case basis instead of being black and white? I mean, if someone is 16 and they decide to date someone who is 18 of their own free will, shouldn't they be allowed to? Shouldn't it depend on maturity levels and all the other factors instead of being decided solely on age?

I've seen some pretty immature 25yos, and some very mature 15 yos. So should age be the only deciding factor between consent and rape, or should there be others?

Angel_Again I was using those ages as an example. But I mean, what about a kid that's 16 and another that's 18? Why is that so bad or wrong, isn't that a close age? Shouldn't there be something somewhere that says case-by-case, not black and white?

Personally I'm going for age+well-being of both parties involved+reasons+maturity level of both. Something more deciding than just that single day under 18.

Answer 1

You would think. But see those ages are based off of when the body is fully mature. Its not just any random age. The body stops going through puberty around 18 or so. So officially that is why 18 is the law for being an adult. There is not so much need and desire to be controlled by hormones around this age and the puberty phase is passed. As for 16 and 18 year olds they can date sure. But they can't have sex. Because again that child at 16 is still going through puberty but closer to the age of being an adult. There is nothing relating to mental maturity in these statues. Because if there was we would all have to wait until we are 26 to date anyone. And you know why that is? That is when the brain fully matures. And for that to be a true statement it is said that the reasoning center of our brains is at full capacity to tell us the difference between right and wrong. And we can determine for ourselves what is the best situation to be in and what isn't.

I also have always felt the maturity you are talking about has too many different levels. I mean there are some kids that are mature enough to handle class work and sports but can't hand a job on top of that. There is that degree of maturity then there is some kids that can handle having a job, doing school work, even doing a few extracurricular activities but they are anti-social, that may not seem like a maturity level but for some it might be. And Lastly there is someone that can be a social butterfly, get all their work done and have mediocre grades, some what okay performance at their job and manage to date someone. There is that maturity level as well. But see I think it would draw out a case way too long for the judge to determine what the actual child in question can really handle and what they can't. I mean how can a judge really make a reasonable judgment if they are comparing the fact that the child can do really well in school but sucks in sports and can't hold a steady job? I mean what does that really say of the childs reasonable decision making skills?

See as I see it maturity is based off how much awareness a person has in being able to handle all that is going on in their lives. Maturity doesn't come about with just any age number. It comes about in my mind in how much the kid is able to stay focused on their goals and meeting all their requirements for school, work, extra activities, and still make time for a bf or gf. I think that should apply to adults as well. So those ages aren't determined because of how appearance wise a child is on a mature level. They have to do with our bodies and you should be lucky not with our minds. Because as I said we would all have to be 26 years old before we are considered an adult or old enough to date.

So bottomline it doesn't really matter if a 15 year old is mature enough to handle this or that and a 25 year old isn't. We all have different levels of being able to manage different things in our lives. And if we can't we find little immature outlets that keep us away from real responsibilities. This is just my opinion.

Answer 2

Each states laws are different as to age of consent. Also, most states have exceptions for how close the ages are, so a 16 and an 18 year old that concent, are not violating the law.\

I agree that maturity should be a factor, but it is hard to judge or legislate. The main reason for these laws is to restrict adults from manipulating children, and teen are Very vulnerable to it. How do you deal with a teen that manipulates another, less emotionaly mature teen though?

Answer 3

With limited lifespan also comes limited comprehension of cause and effect. That is why it behooves the 18+ year olds to respect the law, and not dally with children.

There is no harm in keeping laws (although there may be impatience!). When has it ever hurt anyone to exercise self-restraint?

Self-restraint is the ESSENCE of maturity. Therefore, those who are truly mature will not wish to break the law that says that minors should not have sex. You'll find it is the impatient children who want the sex, not the truly mature and smart ones, who will be focusing on preparing for adulthood, .

The laws are there to protect those who are not capable of making smart judgments for themselves.

EDIT: If it is hard for a judge to figure out how mature a 16 year old is, how much harder will it be for an 18 (or 25) year old to figure out who is really mature enough to have sex?

Answer 4

Sometimes people who are 18 and over take advangtage of younger people. And most of the time, the younger people don't even know what they want. I thought the age of consent was 16...or 17. Then it isn't rape. Unless the older person is over 20...or something like that. I think a persons whole well being should be looked at along WITH age, but who knows.

Answer 5

I think a 15-year-old can be mature and still not ready for sex. If someone who is much older wants to have sex with a mature 15-year-old, I would still be very concerned about his motives. If it's love, it can wait.

It seems like it's hard to just go by age only, but that way you avoid judges and police officers who are making biased decisions. This way, everyone knows what the rules are, and they don't change.

Answer 6

People jump to a lot of conclusions based on age and its a foolish thing to do.
I'm 20 and engaged to a 38yo...you wouldn't believe the amount of crap we cop over the age gap. People either think I'm a gold digger or accuse him of being a pedophile.
There DOES need to be a minimum age of consent for obvious reasons, but every individual is different...you can't judge a person by age.

Answer 7

well, the stagitory rape laws are different in certain states, some (I believe nevada being one) allow people of 16 to consort with adults, but it is a troublesome law for those rare situations where the relationship is healthy, my advice is keep it low key until the minor is of age, and on a side note, judges to my knowledge when dealing with stagitory, will go basicly case by case, but dont expect any huge breaks.

Answer 8

i have asked my dad the same Q when i was 12! i mean the justification of imposing such act. its a bit irrational if we look at it on the -ve side. but try to think of it this way. imagine u have an underage daugther who's madly in love with a 20 somethin guy. u definitely dont want ur kid to mix around let alone have intercourse with him at such young age, and get pregnant! its just an effort from the government to protect young children NO MATTER how mature they are physically/ mentally.

Answer 9

in case you carry such concerns on your shoulders, then walk away. The age regulations are set up for a reason and despite if each and each state is diverse, the legal age in maximum states is eighteen. the base line is he felt he needed to lie as a manner to attach to somebody. in case you're searching for for a protracted term courting, do you prefer to start that off with lies? for sure, you will do what you choose yet good judgment is the commencing up on making good selections.

Answer 10

the age SHOULD be the deciding factor. despite maturity levels, there is no freaking way i would let a 15 year old daughter of mine date a 25 year old man!! as for 17/18 year old couples, usually its not inforced, unless the parents of the younger one say something to law enforcement.