ok today i was down the street when my 13 month old threw a tantrum, so like i would at home i just left him in the pram and let him scream it out, a few women came up to me and told me to sort him out that i shouldn't leave him screaming and that people like me don't deserve children, which of course brought me to tears and i left the shop fast.
should i just give in to him when we are out and about or ignore him like i do at home?
2007-09-15 19:54:49 · 27 answers · asked by M 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You did absolutely the best thing possible under the circumstances according to your plan of good parenting.
People get upset when they have to hear a child making a squawk in public, but those who don't understand are those who are too old to remember what a tantrum is like, or are just intolerant to children.
I would have given you a kind look, knowing you were probably embarrassed anyway and trying your best.
The do-gooders who had the audacity to make comment to you are the ones who should feel disgraced.
Don't change your approach at all and if someone comes up to you again and tries their narrow-minded opionated approach on you, say, "I'm teaching him how to behave and it would be appreciated if you'd mind your own business". Smile nod and continue on as you were.
I'm proud of you.
2007-09-15 20:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you need to make sure he's had a nap. That way he's less likely to be cranky. If he throws a tantrum, take him home immediately, and tell him why. The best way to end a tantrum is to ignore it, but that only works when you're at home. When you're out somewhere it's best to remove the child from the situation. Sometimes the child gets too much input, more than he can process and he'll just give up and scream. I couldn't take my son to the store until he was a little older because it was just too much for him. Not all kids are like this, but if they are, you just have to work with it.
2007-09-16 05:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation.. I totally understand what you went through today! I think that you did the right thing. If you give into your child's tantrums then you are sending the message that throwing fits gets them what they want. Eventually they'll figure out (hopefully after not too many fits in public) that you aren't going to give in and it's not worth the fight. My MIL is REALLY bad about giving into my brother-in-law (he's 11) when he throws fits.. and he's a spoiled brat. I'm working on this same issue with my 3 year old son... I only wish that my MIL and DH would help me and stop giving in when he doesn't get his way! Good luck! :)
2007-09-16 03:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by mary_claybrook 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a different opinion about how to raise children and what to do in any certain situation. Just thank these people for their advice/opinion, and inform them that since you are the child's mother, you will do what you think is best for them, and politely excuse yourself from the situation. Unless you are neglecting your child in a serious situation or harming your child, they have no business telling you what to do. Some people just have no common sense. If it's not hurting anybody, leave it be. He will only cry for so long until he realizes that it's not getting him anywhere. I wonder if those people even had children of their own??
2007-09-17 02:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can't just leave him to scream. What you do is turn around and go home. It might be inconvenient but you don't let children have tantrums in public and not deal with it. Remove the child from the situation. Don't give in to his demands. Just take him home and tell him that he must be ready for a nap, then put him to bed and let him rest. When he's calm, try again.
2007-09-16 03:01:36 · answer #5 · answered by 1M9 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you keep babing him it will not get better or go away.Tantrums are tantrums.They are for no reason except to have thier own way.Although he is still young he migh have had gas.How ever they do have to learn how to act in public ,so give him 6 more months of a little babying and then really start to teach him how to act in public at age 2.Also some people forget they were babies once too and do not like babies crying and do not understand at all, do not let them make you cry they do not know any better.
2007-09-16 03:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends where you are...if you are in the grocery store let him know that if he continues that you will leave and get in the car and go home...the problem is that he is learning how to deal with the real world.
he, as a baby, was in "one step thinking"
...I cry i get food
...i cry i get a new diaper...etc.
now he is entering "2 step thinking"
...you are in the grocery store and he wants something so he cries
...doesn't work
...so he cries some more (dont give in)
....still nothing (now take him to the car)
....now he has lost control of himself (he doesnt know what to do)
...he is now throwing a fit.
now you need to get him to a place where he can calm down. Hop in the car and go home...the food will be there.
he is learning his boundaries.Make sure you explain to him why you left and that he made you upset (but you still love him)
stay consistant. kids are smart they will know when you are (lack of a better word) weak. if someone comes up to you don't take it personal they just don't have any idea what they are talking about...and they have no idea how ridiculous they look.
2007-09-16 03:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by shannon1420 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what I do...if i sense a tantrum is about to happen, i drop everything, pick up my child, and go to the car. That way i wont be pressured by what other people say and i can deal with the tantrum without people looking, judging or criticizing. Its my child after all.
2007-09-16 08:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore Ignore Ignore...that includes the people that think they know better than you how to raise your own kid. Giving in just teaches him to do that everytime. If he was older timeout would help but at 13 months he is really to young still to understand the timeouts. Depending on what he was crying about I would say you probably did the right thing ignoring him and they shouldn't have said that but people are idiots like that and you just have to ignore them as well.
2007-09-16 03:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by momof3boys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if that is all you did then i think that there would be some that would have done worse.
one of my friends has gotten down on the ground with there child and thought her own tantrum in the shops so no your fine with that.
don't worry about what others thing just do the right thing like your doing now sounds like a good parent to me :)
2007-09-16 06:04:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋