Would you go shopping with a known kleptomaniac?

Question

My sister in law has a long history. Now I could be charged if I am with her and she steals as an accessory. Well I don't care to do that so I won't step inside a store with her.
Yes, I've watched her feed her kids a meal while doing grocery shopping. Embarrassing; she was encouraging them to eat. Security threatened her.
I've been in stores with her before where she has pointed out security following us.
I'm sorry but I'm not a theif or criminal and I don't want to be around her in any store. Her brother thinks I'm an idiot for feeling this way and his whole family put it off as, "OH that's just ---"
Can someone explain this to me?

Answer 1

your husbands family are n**s! . Of course you don't want to be around someone like that. It isn't ethical or responsible. It sounds like your in-laws rationalize her behavior. Like a lot of people now adays they think just because she's a relative anything she does is okay. Tell your husband you find her behaviior unacceptable and you won't go shopping with her any more.

Answer 2

I wouldn't go shopping with her! If your husband's family think it's just her, or she can't help it, well then they can go shopping with her. This can get you in serious trouble, you don't want a criminal record just because you were with her.

If you husband's family insists you should go along with her, you could give it one more try; tell her that because she's an adult, it's none of your business what she does when she is on her own, but *you* will *not* accept it when you are together, and you will go with her only if she promises to pay for everything on those trips, and if she does not keep her promise you'll turn her in with security. Then keep your word; if she keeps hers, there's no problem and if she doesn't, you will make her mad but you're already in disagreement with her and her family; at least you'll know you've given her a reasonable chance.

Answer 3

Just because she constantly steals doesn't make her a kleptomaniac...not if she does it by choice. If this is the case then she is simply a thief. You are right to worry about getting in trouble if you are with her. She also is setting a horrible example for her children. If she truly is a kleptomaniac and cannot help herself then her family should try to seek help for her. I still would not go with her if this was the case but I would encourage her with her treatment and be supportive of that. I wonder if her family will still think "that's just ____" if she gets arrested and they are having to take care of her children while she is away...or worse, if they are taken from her.

Answer 4

I don't know about being charged as an accessory but I certainly don't blame you for objecting. In fact, it is a little sad you are uncertain. You will be doing her a good turn by refusing. Mind you, with the prices they charge and the total picture, I don't have the slightest sympathy for the stores. I am also not sure they have the right to wrestle people to the ground as they do. They are not the police. And I believe where the prices are fair shoplifting drops off sharply. BUT that is not the point. Shoplifting is is self-destructive behavior. It would be much better to reject all their plastic crap outright. (Including the food).

Answer 5

You are right to feel the way you do. Unless you want to spend the night in jail, I would avoid shopping with her at all costs. Just because her husband and family defends her is no reason for you to cave in. Your feelings are valid and they are doing her a disservice by letting her think it is okay by their attitude of "it's just her way"... She is also setting a bad example for her children which could land them in jail as they get older. I'd stick to your guns and if it offends, tell family members that you might be paranoid or ridiculous or an idiot or whatever it is they want to call you, but at least you will be one from the comfort of your own home, rather than a jail cell and they are entitled to their opinions and you are entitled to yours.

Answer 6

You are right to be concerned. If you are with her when she steals, and you don't say anything, then you are an accessory. You will then have a criminal record for something you didn't do if she is caught.
That she brings her children along and is teaching them that stealing is ok is what bothers me the most about this.
Stick to your guns and don't let her problem become yours.

Answer 7

Stealing is being a Thief.

It's sad when innocent people
get caught up in another persons crime.

If you ride in a car with the stolen items
and are stopped by the Police there is a
very big chance that you are going to jail.

I would NEVER go shopping with her.

Answer 8

I would refuse to go shopping with her. I have opened a package of fruit snacks for my son while on a lengthy shopping trip and the store doesn't care as long as you give the clerk the package to scan when you check out. I have NEVER fed my son something and not paid for it. That is wrong, and I would not allow my son to do something like that.

Answer 9

I'd be the same way - you knowing she is doing it can get you charged with the same crime in a lot of states. Better to not put yourself in that situation.

Shoplifting isn;t just a crime, it can also be considered a mental illnes. Suggest to your brother that she get help for her problem.

But if the family doesn't see it, maybe they'll get the idea when she gets arrested and the kids get taken by social services and put in foster care.

Answer 10

One of my family members was a klepto, too. I faced the same problem.

I did avoid shopping with her as much as possible. I did not want to be charged with theft.

Stand your ground. Don't get yourself into a position where you get charged, and end up with a record.