need baby tips anyone? please? thank you :-)?

Question

hi im 21 i make about 1500 a month and my fiance is 23 who makes a good check every two weeks plus commision. hes a car saleman. im working on going to school to become a vet tech with my bachelors which is four years. we are working on getting our own place because we live with his sister but the house is under his name, so once his one year contract is over were gonna get our own place. the reason im writing is because i know there is no "perfect" time to have a baby but im looking to have one when im atleast 23 or so. i think 30 or orlder is way too old to have a baby. what im asking is how do you manage to have a baby while going to school and working? do you set a budget and how much does your baby cost you a month? are you happy you made your decision? any tips on how to raise a baby? anything you wanna tell me please feel free to do so.
thanks alot

Answer 1

Well, first of all I know that being 21 you only know what you know at that age. So, saying that, I had my daughter after I finished undergrad and grad school. I was 29. I don't think that's old at all. You of course may think it's old because you're 21! Which is understandable. Anyway, my point it that it would make life and finances so much easier for you if you finish school first. A baby takes time and patience. So, it would be great if you could finish school, start your career as well as your marriage and then share your life with a baby. I'm happy that I waited because I was more mature and had established a relationship with my husband with just the two of us before we had a baby. Oh, I can tell you that the average cost of a certified daycare for a newborn is around $200/week where I live. The cost down as they get older. So, that plus diapers, and formula and other extras, it's expensive. Oh, also, please make sure that your fiance is on the same page as you are. Nothing makes it harder than not having a partner who's supportive. Good luck in your decision.

Answer 2

No matter what age you have a baby your never going to be ready. I had my first son at 18 and my second at 21. If you are going to school and working then I would wait until you are done school, cause just staying at home and having a new baby can be a lot. If I could do it again I would have waited till I was 25 to have my first then it gives you that five year space to decide if you want to have an other one before that 30 mark. As for setting a budget that's something that you have to do after the baby is born there are a lot of things that may com into play when the baby is born, such as will you breast feed? If yu do then that saves on formula but what happens if you can't for some unforseen reason. Diapers you will go through a lot and I do mean a lot there about 15.00 a pack and you can get any where from two to four days out of a pack. Then there is the fact that as children get older they coast more money so that's why I say get your schooling done. My only tip on how to raise the baby is, you and your fieance must always stand as a united front in front of the child. If he hands out a punishment that you feel is too much go OUT of the room and discuess your feeling and it is up to him to reduce the punishment not you. It goes the same with you your fieance should never correct you in FRONT of the child and you should never do it to him. i have two boys and that is the most important thing I have learned. And also to have a open line of communication with your fieance.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

From the very beginning, my husband and I agreed that I would raise our children, rather than sending them to daycare, since we have no relatives nearby.

After my daughter reached almost a year, I began to go stir crazy, so I found a home-based day care and began to work two mornings a week. I continued on this path, believing that the socialization my daughter was receiving was in sync with my need to get out of the house. When she was potty-trained, I put her in Kinder-care three mornings a week. She benefited greatly--playing with other kids.

Along came a son, and the same was true of him. I worked part-time while my kids played with other kids and earned enough money to kick the budget along a bit.

In my mind, unless you're a very determined, very disciplined person, having a baby and raising him or her will always take all the money you have. There are clothes, toys, school, homecoming tickets... Not to mention college and grad school. We struggle every month to keep the spending under the income, and often have to pull money out of retirement to meet some dire emergency for one of our kids.

My best advice about the baby is to talk to them, read to them, and love their little toes until they fall off. Sing to them while you're rocking, in another language if you can. Kids can never have too many languages (neither can we). Spend lots of time to play, and when the time comes spend lots of time to listen. Spank only when nothing else works, and as soon as you find another way to discipline, use it. A spanking is mandatory, however, in safety issues. Your child plays with matches, runs out in front of a car, won't hold your hand in a crowd...I spanked for that EVERY time.

You'll do fine. I can tell you care, already love that baby. You'll find a way to make it work. Finishing your education would be the best, but making sure you spend most of the child's waking hours with you is important, too.

Congratulations!
TX Mom
Mine are 17, 21
But I'm not an expert!

Answer 5

From personal experience wait until you have your degree and into your new home. Alot of women have perfectly normal pregnancies and deliveries but then again there is alot that can happen to cause difficulties. It's one thing to be able to take a few months off work on maternity leave. It's a whole different thing to have some kind of a complication pop up during your pregnancy that puts you in a position of missing several weeks/months of school and trying to catch up from that. Especially if you have any financial aid or grants that is going towards your schooling costs. Most of them require you to pay it back if you have to drop out of a class after a certain point.
With the housing situation you want to be sure that your family can make it only on what your fiance is able to bring in each month or you could risk losing your home and major damamge to both of your credit reports.

Answer 6

Your perception of age is way off.... That tells me for a 21 yr old you are rather immature. I don't think you're ready to have a baby any time soon.... In your case I'd advise the 30 age even though you think it's too old. Geesh.

Baby's cost a lot. It's not just about food cloths and diapers. Add medical insurance. Add education, furniture, proms, hobbies, activities, medicine not covered by insurance etc etc etc.

You need to have about 500 a month just for care of a baby/child and plan to put away an equal amount for education. Then the whole thing goes up for grabs wen one of you lose a job, or one of you can't work because of an accident or illness. Then one day the doctor says your pregnant again... ok lets adjust the budget....

And all the while this is going on...... cost of living increases. gas goes up cars cost more etc etc etc. I hope you bf makes 100,000 per yr. You're going to need it. And that coveted vet job you want is very rewarding....but in most places they pay like barely minimum wage. Now you know why so many people wait till 30..... and no it's not too old. heck I'm 48 and I still think i'm not too old. It's the love you have to give...not the age that counts.

Answer 7

I was 22 when I had my oldest the next two 25 ( twins) and the Youngest 27. I would not change a single thing in the world. I always considered myself a single mother I had very little support from my now ex husband. It was a choice I chose to stay with to long. My suggestion to you is if you have the chance to wait. you are right there is no right time but finish your education. I would not change my situation for a single thing but I would encourage others to finish school and get established in a career. I had finished Most of my degree and had worked very little in that field, when I had my children, when I tried to go back out into the Job market at 30 it was very difficult. Establish who you are and then have your child. its sets a better foundation for your life.

Answer 8

Save save save thats my advice for now. Finish you degree first move out then have a baby. There is nothing wrong with being 30 and having children I had my little man at 28 and my sister had hers at 22 and there is no difference I think it depends on the Mummy. I was very very very ready to have a baby but we still sacrafice alot in order for me to stay at home and look after him and allow him to grow up with Mummy by his side. Just think really hard and if you still want a baby in 2 years then try.