Different beliefs between my parents and me!?

Question

Both my parents (even though they are divorced) are Protestant and I am converting to Catholicism. PLEASE! When replying to this, don't rag on Catholicism or Christianity...

Anyways, my mom and I recently had a big arguement, and she has decided she is coming out to my place (she is flying out here next weekend) to discuss it with me and meet my boyfriend who is Catholic. She believes I am converting because of him. (which I am NOT)

I know I can't convince her that Catholicism is a good thing, but how can I manage being around her, and letting her meet my boyfriend, when she is so bitter and nasty about it? Any tips on dealing with it?

Answer 1

If your Mom is flying out to see you to have this conversation - you should know that she is on YOUR territory. Also, it is apparent you are an adult and able to make your own choices and decisions. In order to maintain peace - and this is what you should truly want - suggest that you have dinner or lunch with her only. (no boyfriend). Set the ground rules. Hold her hand and let her know how much you love her and appreciate all she has done for you. Also, you should let her know that in her love and teachings, obviously she gave you room to grow and to expand your horizons outside of the 'box'. Then you must let her know that you have the right to make your own choices and decisions and her influence in the area of your choice of religious denomination is really personal. Kindly let her know that even if you were making this decision because of your boyfriend, it would still be a good one. If you are planning to marry him, you would want your marriage to begin on one accord - two people who would be yoked together and walking together in the same faith has a better chance of staying together.

Finally, let her know that you are not going to argue the point - that you want her to meet your friend and you want her to enjoy her stay. If she cannot cooperate - her visit might not be as welcomed.

I know it's your mother and you have to be kind to her - but you don't have to agree with her and she has no right to force you into a decision that you no longer wish to be a part. You don't have to contend with anyone being nasty and bitter toward you and your friend. That is a lack of respect.

Answer 2

I do not understand the problem, I was raised Catholic and am now Baptist. I see no difference in the basic belief system. The traditions are quite different, but so what. The issue I had with Catholicism is the belief in awaiting to the second coming for the departed Christians to enter Heaven. Jesus said to the thief, on the cross, today you will be with me in Heaven.
If you are old enough to live away from home, and live financially free of your parents, then you should not rely on them for any other aspect of your life. Listen and consider what she says, but this is your decision. I would suggest you inform her that converting to Catholicism is more than an immersion baptism, you will have to take courses, receive counseling and this takes months. Your decision can not be a rash one, the church simple does not work that way.

Answer 3

Oh, my. I can't believe she has such strong feelings about it.

She may have many misconceptions about Catholicism.

Have some basic materials for her to read so she is aware that it is a Christian Religion (and actually, protestant religions are off shoots of the Catholic church), as well as abbreviated history.

Take her to a mass, so she can see what it is like.

If you like, invite your priest over for dinner so she can meet him and see that he is very much like her own pastor.

Are you sure it is the religion and not your boyfriend that she has a problem with?

Lastly, you are on your own territory and are an adult. Stand your ground. She should be happy for you.

She is your mother and deserves your love and respect. don't argue with her and let her know in respectful tones that you will not be bullied.

Answer 4

Make an appointment for a family counseling session with her, yourself, your boyfriend and a priest. A priest is trained to counsel and will likely have a very open mind and be welcoming to each of you. Once she sees the similarities in the religion and that you're not being forced or persuaded, she'll feel at least feel better (and so will you.)

Answer 5

I have never understood why this matters. My dad is Catholic but goes to a Methodist Church, my mom is theistic buddhist, my sister is generic pagan, My brother in law and I are both Heathen and my husband is atheist.
We all get along fine. We enjoy talking about it, debating about and in general having more holidays. Why does it freaking matter?
All you can do is stand calmy and respectfully by your decisions. Ask her nicely to come with you to church or at least learn about it before she makes any judgements. And then you can always uses Mathew 7:3

Answer 6

I believe it is normal for anyone who believes in God to search out what they are looking for in God as they get older. I am not going to stand up and say whether or not you are wrong or right. The only thing I hope you search for the hardest, is whether or not you have ask Christ into your heart. That is what matters most. Not what religion you are.

Answer 7

Stay calm.

Tell her that her bitterness and nastiness (if/when she uses it) definitely does not make her case for Protestantism any stronger, nor does it encourage you to be open to her ideas.

Answer 8

i think you juzt gotta do your own thing, i am a christian ,myself, and if u reallyy disagree on their religion nd decided this is the one u think is real, and u've thought about it, then tell her, it's funny b/c i juz read a book about the same thing ur going through it's a book called "no shame, no fear", u should definitely read it

Answer 9

why does it matter so much? its your choice. she sounds very controlling and narrow minded which i hate. give her a piece of your mind.