I'm living with my fiancee and I just started working and he's still in school...I'll be working the evening shift which is from 3 to 11 and I won't be able to see him that much and so I thought that the weekends would be our time to spend together but he blew me off to spend time with his friend. I always stay at home and I never get to go anywhere thats why I started this job and I really need the money but when I started working I figured we would be able to spend weekends together and he said he would spend them with me and then today he told me that he hasn't seen his friend in a week and he's our next door neighbor and he's over like every day....what should be more important me the person he's gonna marry and hardly will see or his friend that he sees everyday in school and who happens to be our neighbor???
2007-09-15 11:15:40 · 18 answers · asked by crystlehart05_06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You live together, so he figures you're always there.
Why do you move in with your fiance and then expect him to act like he just can't be with you enough?
You know that guys give each other a hard time about being henpecked, and if you live with him, it starts before you are married.
You have all the grief of being married, but none of the security. It's not a wise thing to do.
2007-09-15 11:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the two of you have a lot of soul searching and talking to do. Though you should be very important, his social relationships do not stop because you have entered the picture. Perhaps you should have date nights or days, etc., to ensure you two have some quality alone time besides that spent in the bed. But his close friend has been there and should also enjoy some of his time.
Instead of being selfish, how about figuring activites where the friend can join you both and perhaps bring a date. That could include dinner, watching or going to the movies, etc.
Have a little self confidence that his love for you will not be lessened if he does not spend every free minute with you and ignores his friends.
2007-09-15 11:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Fiance is more Important...
There is a little thing called space though, and that can be a healthy addition to any relationship... But it does seem weird that he just lives next door.... How old are you anyways???
If you both are like <23 it explains a lot....
Just sit him down and ask him if you can spend time together.... Remember Communication is the Key to Success....
2007-09-15 11:21:42 · answer #3 · answered by conspiracy_secrets_coverups 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a balance between the two.
You are going to be marrying him, its just the start. You'll need to face this, talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling. Communication is a big factor. There's nothing else you can do. Don't try to complicate it more than it already is. Make sure you he understands that hes his friend, and that they can hang out, your not stopping them. You just want to spend more time with him. Don't forget, you are planning to spend a lot of time with him. Make it enjoyable for the TWO of you.
`- hope it works out `-
2007-09-15 11:22:20 · answer #4 · answered by - 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good question indeed.... and yes I would side with you.
Your fiancee doesn't sound like he thinks it's a problem.... what's wrong with this picture?
This may be a warning sign for you. You need to seriously sit down and talk to him about how he sees his wife's roll and marriage. You both need to have a common ideas about how this marriage is going to look like. Plan now. Discuss....
Good luck
2007-09-15 11:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee should come first. Your firends need to understand that you are getting married and things change but you do need to have space sometimes with your friends too. Your fiancee needs to understand that too. BUt you have to make sure your ready for marriage. Sounds like you have doubts.
2007-09-15 11:21:09 · answer #6 · answered by conny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are walking a fine line. I understand your need and desire to be with him and you are correct in stating that he needs to realize that hey you see this man everyday...
It sounds like maybe he has some growing up to do...but you shouldn't ever put him in the place where he feels like he has to choose you or him...love is not about choosing people over one another...its about realizing that you need to share them and give them priority in your life. But that is something that has to come from within a person and not be forced on him from the outside. If it is it can make a person resentful.
AGain, it sounds like he has some growing up to do.
2007-09-15 11:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by nuyoricancop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both are equally important. however if he's constantly blowing you off to spend time with his friend then he obviously doesn't see you as that important. Maybe you should have a good talk to time about sharing his time more equally. If that doesn't work you're either going to have to put up with it or leave him.......
2007-09-15 11:22:46 · answer #8 · answered by chazta01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fiancee of course, but don't doubt him so easily. Maybe he's planning a surprise for you and had to use his friend as a cover.
2007-09-15 11:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by soniye88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs ta pay more attention to you, his bestfriend lives next door omg he can see him everyday, you need ta tell yo man wassup fareal cuz if it keeps goin on like this hes gonna loose you.
2007-09-15 11:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by S0oFreSSh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋