I am almost 25, and I plan on having sex soon with my boyfriend /fiancee. I have never had sex before, and he knows it. I would like him to be a little more impressed by the fact that I have managed to put off sex for such a long time (I was very focused on my career and studies). He doesn't seem impressed at all, and I would even think he is a little disturbed by it.
On the other hand I also feel very shamed for being a virgin in my mid 20s and he knows that. So what do you think? Does he fake not caring about my sitation to help me over this embarassing step, or does he not care period.
I know it's a silly one.
2007-09-15 09:22:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Once you're an adult and not in HS anymore - virginity is not something that most people care about in the slightest. I know that the long-term virgins don't want to hear it but it's true.
The only guys who really care about a woman's virginity are 1) the ones that don't have enough self-confidence in themselves and worry that the other guys were bigger/better and 2) the guys who see women as property that is theirs and theirs alone.
Assuming that your BF is also your age, I'd suspect he got over the fascination with virgins about 5 years ago. He's not faking; at his age, virginity is not such a great thing. It simply means that you have no idea what to do in bed and he's going to be frustrated a few times trying to teach you how to have sex like an adult instead of a teenage beginner.
There is however no reason for you to be embarrassed about being a 25 year old virgin - it's the decision you made. Be cool with that decision - it's yours. There's nothing wrong with being a 25 year old woman who has never had sex, any more than there is in being one who has. You're just going to be learning about some intimacy things about 10 years later than most girls you know -- that's cool, as long as he doesn't mind teaching you. Be patient with his occasional frustrations.
2007-09-19 05:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by CoachT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I am a virgin in my Mid-30s and that is the time when one can feel shame. I wish your boyfriend did appreciate it more. I believe women tend to hold more meaning to relationships than men and sometimes men can come off as cold and uncaring when they don't show the relevance back. This is on men though, we need to step up and appreciate our partners.
However, I know the stigma you feel and if you are having serious reservations, then don't do it. 25 is not the end of the world. I bet you can save yourself even further for someone who is impressed. BTW, there are many guys into finding adult women who are virgins, whether they be religious guys or just sentimental ones.
2007-09-19 11:11:06 · answer #2 · answered by Sirius70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I'd like to say that its very impressive that you are still a virgin, b/c many ppl are busy with there career/studies but still fit in sex. Having said that , i would like to say that it is very rare for someone in there mid-20's in a committed relationship to have held off. Have you told him how you feel and that you would like him to be impressed?
By NO means should you feel ashamed, there
are so many ppl who regret it. Your fiance should admire you for holding off, and understand your reasoning. But try and look at the situation from his perspective as well.
2007-09-15 16:38:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with still being a virgin at your age. In fact, I think that's pretty rare & cool & mature! Because nowadays, people just have sex just to make them look mature even though they're not.
Well, since he's reall your fiancee, he should understand & believe whatever your problems are. If there's something wrong or you're not feeling comfortable with, tell him.
2007-09-15 16:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by Thao Kun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he should be proud for you... If you lose your virginity to him then that makes him very special to you. Why not wait for the honeymoon? I mean you waited that long, shouldn't you let him wait a little longer? And it seems that his silence means that he is okay with that. I assume you guys have been together for some time because he's your fiancee... so there's no need to worry about it. He's okay with it.
2007-09-15 16:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by idunno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be proud of yourself and he should too. dont worry too much for the fact is more important and he knowing it.
he's just being ignorant and anive. he'll relaised whata treasure he has inherited and given later. dont expect too much gratitiude either but be consolidated that mnay here appreciates your effort and thats what counts. many of your friends will agree too.
on the othe rhand, he could be regretting that he's not....lol.
2007-09-15 21:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by coffee_tea_or 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a couple of different experiences before you settle on one.
2007-09-15 16:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by so 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys would rather be with a virgin than a girl that's been around the block a million times. If he says it doesn't bother him than it doesn't
2007-09-15 16:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by joker:P 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why are you embarrassed about being a virgin at that age? I commend you, dammit!
2007-09-15 16:31:11 · answer #9 · answered by aliengirl83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋