Has anyone realized "the grass is NOT greener on the other side"?

Question

We have been together for 11 years/engaged for 7 years. I am 26/he's 28. We argue a lot. I want to save money for a wedding/honeymoon/house and he spends it all and then some. He has racked up $15K debt w/o my knowledge. He's not sure if he wants to get married b/c of the fighting and he feels unfulfilled and bored. He wants to smoke pot basically daily and wants me to be ok w/ it. He's been leaving for days at a time when we argue. He says he just does not want to compromise anymore. He says he really loves me which I 100% believe but he is just really confused. We broke up today and he's moving out. I'm keep our apt and he's going to stay w/ his mom for a few months to save money. We decided that if we both realize breaking up was a huge mistake within a few months we could get back together. Maybe some time really apart and on his own he will realize what he has lost see the grass is not greener on the other side and be ready to spend his life w/ me. Anyone ever go through this... ?

We have been together since we were very young. Maybe this break-up and time apart will make us stronger in the end if we do get back together... ? Time for him to clear his head. The old sating goes "you don't know what you have until it's gone".

Answer 1

the grass sure is greener on the other side at least from where im standin cuz the grass is yellow and dead and i kno theres greener grass on the other side cuz ive seen it ( =

Answer 2

Sounds to this old guy that your man needs to grow up just a whole lot. And although it may sound inappropriate also sounds like you could do better for yourself. But if you are really wanting to save this relationship then some couple or relationship counselling might be in order. As well communication needs to be exchanged with each other in a mature and open minded manner. What happens if and when you marry, does he run home to mommy so he can get some positive strokes. If his buddies, pot and debt are a problem now try and imagine that multiplied by 10 after you wed if you don't nip this in the bud now. Best of luck.

Answer 3

What worked for us as kids may not work for us as adults.

You two have made a very adult decision by deciding to separate and sort things out. Counseling, both individual and together, would be a addition to help sort things out. The fact that he has racked up 15k in debt is very much a concern and the statement that he no longer wants to compromise is a huge red flag. Marriage and relationships are about a fair amount of compromising, and without it you are doomed to fail as a couple.

Since you are a saver and he is a spender you also need to seek financial help and compromise there also. You two may no longer have the same goals as a couple. I strongly suggest you use this time apart to LOOK at your relationship and not fall into the trap of the daily phone call filled with I miss you and I love you, they will inevitably lead to backsliding and a premature reunion.

Be careful this is your heart and your future (both of yours) you are dealing with. Both are fragile and hard to fix if broken.

Answer 4

The grass in my yard has dried up and even the creek went dry, so i hope the grass is greener somewhere else. As for your situation maybe being apart for a while will be a big help.

Answer 5

sure!!! My husband & I divorced, have been given with individuals & found out the grass wasn't greener on the different facet. We the two had to forgive one yet another for each thing. We found out what we had in one yet another we've been searching for in individuals. It became a extensive mistake! I wish extra people could see once you get with individuals you merely commerce one set of issues for yet another. artwork on your cutting-edge subjects because of the fact the grass isn't greener. verify out the link under - circulate to the restored marriage link - you will see what proportion people found out an analogous element!