Will I be expected to go dutch(pay my share of romantic meal in a restraunt. ???
This is our first date,he is 44 years old,I m 50 years old.
I do have old values and I feel he should,may have too.I just dont know what to do.when the bill arrives.
2007-09-15 08:35:22 · 9 answers · asked by olla 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm going to get thumbs-downed for this, but I'm going to say it anyway.
I am very old school when it comes to dating. If he asked you out for a romantic meal, he should pay for it. Period. (If you asked him out, you should pay for it.) I hate going dutch -- it takes the best parts of being a giver AND a recipient of something nice. I strongly prefer that me and the guy trade off treating one another for dinner. I'm not cheap - I just like to be treated to a nice meal, and I also love treating others to the same. I used to only offer to go dutch when I really didn't like the guy and didn't ever want to see him again -- paying my own way was to send a message that I didn't want to be beholden to him for anything.
If you like him, when the bill arrives, don't move for your purse. Look him in the eye, smile and say, "Thank you SO much for bringing me here -- great choice! My steak was delicious. I'm going to tell my co-workers that they MUST try this place. Next time, can I treat you at MY favorite restaurant? I'd love for you to try their chocolate souffle." Make him feel like a total winner and that he showed you a good time. I'm sure guys will lambast me for this, but surely this would be a preferable response to poring over the bill, counting up side dishes, and figuring out what half of 15% is.
I personally don't know of any guy who went on an awesome first date with a woman they were head over heels for -- but then didn't ask her out again because she didn't offer to go dutch at dinner.
Good luck, and have fun!
2007-09-15 10:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So much depends on the situation. If this is a blind date, i.e. someone you have met on line and are seeing in person for the first time, clarify at the beginning of the evening that you would prefer separate checks. If he insists on paying the entire bill, offer at least to cover the tip.
However, if you have known each other for a while but he has actually asked you out for a date, accept graciously that he is paying. You might offer to get the tip here too, but if he wants to cover everything, simply thank him. No need to make an issue out of it in either case! Enjoy the evening!
2007-09-15 23:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend that you discuss this with your date before the bill comes, hopefully long before. Something like this at the beginning of the date should work: "Hey John, I'm sorry to bring this up, but I just wanted to avoid an awkward situation later. What would be the best for you as far as paying for the meal -- should each person pay for his/her own meal?'
Personally, I think that the person who asked for the date should be willing to pay, but many people split the check on a first date. You should definitely have enough money with you that you could pay if you need to.
2007-09-15 16:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's tricky. Try to see if there are any hints beforehand, make a couple of discreet comments about the prices when you are discussing the wine or the food and see if he gives you any hint. Take enough money with you anyway and offer to pay your half when the bill comes, hopefully he won't be offended, old values are fine, but it does depend on how long you have known him and who suggested the date. Good luck anyway, hope it works out for you.
2007-09-15 15:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by Christina K 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is it called "going dutch"? I am Dutch but that doesn't mean I have to pay half of every diner I go to! Why don't you settle this matter beforehand. Just ask him if you're going to share the bill or not. He'll probably say he's going to pay for it. Maybe you can pay next time.
2007-09-15 15:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go to supper as though you were going with a 'girlfriend' of yours.
Expect to pay your own meal (bring enough money to cover it)..... then, when the bill comes, start digging through your purse.... offer to pay for yourself, if steps in... graciously accept.
In this day and age, you shouldn't 'expect' others to pay for you.
PS, You're only 50; therefore, you grew up in the hippie era and women's lib era.... so don't give me this 'old fashion' line.
2007-09-15 20:04:02 · answer #6 · answered by stevemeister 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Expect to pay for yourself, and then offer to split the bill when it arrives.
See how it goes from there.
2007-09-15 18:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I find it odd that you've said "going dutch" in the etiquette section... but anyway:
He will probably pick up the tab, but it would be polite for you to offer to pay it, or at least pay your half. If he is really polite then he will say "No, let me pay." and then you don't have to worry.
2007-09-15 15:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Rat 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
who invited who pays ...unless stated clearly beforehand
...you go girl...younger man wooo haaaa
I'm for the guy pays always unless you invite them for a special nite out. ( and sex is never included unless I want to)
2007-09-15 15:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by gr8ful_one 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋