I am a single mom of 4 kids, I have 3 jobs, and I am a full time nursing student! My house is trashed and unorganized. we lose everything and we are always late. My kids don't mind. and I don't always follow through I know my weaknesses I just need help on how to fix them. I need a jump start to get me going down the right path. When I ask my friends what to do they spend 3 hrs telling me what i'm doning wrong, and why its wrong. I know this but how can I fix them??
2007-09-15 08:26:01 · 12 answers · asked by VOELZKEMOM 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my kids are 5, 6, 7 and 11. they do help exspecialy the oldest. she helps do much and i try not to push too much off on her, i grew up in foster homes and so moving in with my parents is not an opption. also i want my kids to learn to do things on there own. giving them to there dad is also not and option. he lives in a shed in his dads back yard.
i have signed up for tons of schoalorships and have recived a few. they helped. but they are few and far between. i work at a hospital as an er clerk in the evenings till 11pm and then i go to my home health job where i bathe and put to bed a guy. i pick up the kids and head home. in the a.m. i get everyone off to class and myself. i stay till i have to go to work. i clean houses around my days off. and weekends.i did sign up for flylady ! thanks for that it sounds awsome. now just finding the time to log on and do is but i love the orginization tips. it was just what i was looking for! thank you all for your help.
2007-09-18 15:46:03 · update #1
Hi, I am a mom of two. I think first you need to just acknowledge to yourself everyday that yes, what you are doing is hard, but WOW, you made it another day. Everyone (hopefully) is safe, fed, and learning something...good enough!
Personally, I have really benefited from the support of "flylady.net". This site will really help you look at all aspects of your home and personal mangement habits, and make life feel better!
And lastly, I hope you are still taking time on a regular basis for connections with others and spirituality. You can't help others unless you yourself are healthy and well grounded.
Easy to lecture about, but hard to do, so don't take any of our comments too personally! =)
2007-09-15 10:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How in the world do you handle such a schedule? How in the world do you expect to keep an organized home with such a schedule? Can't you get some financial aid or loans and quit at least two of the jobs?
If you want to be more organized, then everything in the house should have an assigned place. Similar things should be grouped together. All bills and mail that requires processing should be kept together. Do you have a file cabinet to organize stuff? How old are your kids? Can you beg them to do some of the cleaning around the house so after you get your nursing degree, everyone can have a better life?
2007-09-15 13:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget what your friends say! If you are a single mom raising 4 kids, have 3 jobs, and are a full-time student, how on earth can you possibly think your house can be organized? You aren't even there!
Your friends should offer to help in some way instead of going on about what you are doing wrong. As I see it, you are only trying to raise your kids as best as you can and better yourself to make it easier later. For now, it's going to be hard!
If your kids are old enough, give them responsibilities. Give them chores to do and give them consequences if they aren't done. If they aren't minding you, give them consequences for their behavior, bad AND good. Catch them doing good things and they will try to do more. Sit them down and talk to them and explain to them that you need their help to make your family work better. Get them involved and it will make them feel important. And if you can, make sure there is some time every day (even and hour!) or a full day each week that you do nothing but spend it with your children. They are acting up because they need to see you more.
As I see it, you are doing great! Forget what everyone else is saying and keep up the good work!
2007-09-18 12:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by Debi N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you are superwoman. It is hard enough to raise children and work but have 3 jobs and going to school. You are really in over your head. Try to prepare meals ahead of time. Lay out clothes the night before and make sure baths are done at night so everyone will be ready in the mornings. I do not know the ages of your children, but they too can help out with chores. Make a chore chart and place it on your refrigerator wtih everyone's name on it so they know what chore they are to do and then once it is finished they get star, or sticker next to their chore. After a week of chores make sure everyone gets a small reward. Go out together to a movie, pizza, park or something everyone enjoys. I do feel for you and hope you will get some peace soon. Just curious how long before your degree is complete??? I wish you the best!!
2007-09-15 08:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for doing all that you do. That's incredible!
There are so many things that you probably need to address but I would suggest you do one thing at a time and force yourself to be consistent. You can start with expecting the children to perform 1 thing that would make things easier on you. Something like make their beds in the morning and pick up their room before school. Once you have that under control, move on to an older child getting a morning chore done etc. Children can do much more than we give them credit for.
My sister is a single mom of 3 and she makes those little buggers do a lot. It makes it easier on her but it is tougher in the beginning.
I hope this helps.
2007-09-15 08:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by Free Thinker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you are everything but a mom. You are trying to survive by working so much. You can't BE a mom working this much. Move in with your parents (if this is possible) or give full custody to the dad.
2007-09-15 08:43:01 · answer #6 · answered by spinster wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well number what are thing you would like to make a schudule and write what you want to do like clean at night do the dishes when no one around play music when you clean get a planner to help to make it easer for you and if thier thing you want to do like take a walk or sothing with the kids take them to the park mother need at least a one day out the week for them self get invold got to church get to no people meet no friend to help ypu watch your kid that you can trust or find a job online so you dont have to leave home so you can stay on top of thing rember you can do what you want
2007-09-15 08:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by chrissibug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to check google for organizing tips. Try to giveaway or sell anything you can no longer use. Always make sometime for yourself, and some for yourself and your children. In the end, you won't be remembered so much for what you did at work, but what you did with the ones you love^_^.
2007-09-15 08:35:48 · answer #8 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all start a list. and keep alist and do frm the list and eventaully oyou will ge striaghit you need to have them help with the home also they can have small jobs that they can do they are not sutpid take care. sorry just in hurry typing.
2007-09-15 15:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HIGHLY recommend using the Flylady system. www.flylady.net
It will help you soooo much!!! I know it helped me tons. I promise you it's worth a try and it's all free.
2007-09-15 10:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by forgivemeifido1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋