I have a date with this guy tommorrow night and everyone at work knows that we are going out tommorrow and that we really like each other. He is one of the managers and we are 20 years apart(Im 22), but we both dont care. (SIDE NOTE: its okay at my job for employees to date each other since its not a coporate restaurant). Well anyways its our first date tommorrow night. IM JUST SO FREAKED OUT! I have dated older guys but not as old as him. Im just worried if he is going to want sex or not because Im not one of those women who has sex on the first several dates. I like to really get to know a guy before I do. Should I just tell him straightforward that we are NOT having sex on the first date? Will that ruin things??
SIDE NOTE: I date older guys not guys my own age because me and guys my age dont get along. Please dont lecture me about our age gaps.
2007-09-15 07:37:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's nothing wrong with the age gap; it's perfectly normal. I honestly don't think he's going to want sex on the first date (not unless he's a COMPLETELY horny old man anyway.) I suggest not coming out with "I don't want sex on the first date" though, because you'll probably just scare him off. Just play it cool and if he DOES make any indication that he wants to spend the night with you, THEN you should tell him you're not interested. Best of luck!
2007-09-15 07:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mariposa Bella, certainly this man should not attempt to coerce you into having sex over the first couple of dates if he is indeed truly interested in you. If however he does suggest that you partake in some sexual activity he would probably in reality respect you more for standing up and informing him this isn't the right time and that you want to really get to know him before bedding him. I would certainly not suggest that you start off the date with this statement or anything, but if the subject should come around you need to be 100% honest with him and yourself and tell him your feelings and that if he's interested he's going to have to wait. A man this age should be mature enough to realize that, it's not like he's a kid and only after one thing. Best of luck and hope you two have a blast on your date.
2007-09-15 07:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My theory is don't bring anything up until it needs to be brought up. He may be a gentleman and not expect sex. If he does---then let him know your values.
I'm not making a judgment about ages. I've dated older men as well without problems... but sometimes it is a problem and I've had to straighten them out.
More often than not, and older guy is out to hustle a young woman into bed as quickly as possible. I'm not saying this will be the case, but it is usually the case. So just keep on ALERT STATUS and trust your gut instincts. Make sure he's not the kind of guy who would slip something into your food or drink..
Good luck -- Hope it works out for you.
2007-09-15 07:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by Meg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
theres nothing wrong with it. when i was his age, the youngest girl i dated was 18. i didnt look or act my age tho. i wasnt doing it for the sex, that was their idea, i did it because they were up for doing things. they didnt want to sit around and watch tv all the time and act like they were 100 yrs old, like the women i knew that were my age. we all got along great, but the long term thing kept coming to mind. when your 40, he will be 60. ive seen those kinda relationships work a few times, but mostly no. i would tell him straight out about the sex. just say you dont do it with anyone until you get to know them. if it ruins things, then hes not worth it anyway.
2007-09-15 08:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by chris l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea for you to date him because since he is 20 years older he is probably ready to settle down and since your 22 years old you may not be ready.
2007-09-15 07:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by ~*lovin' my life*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriposa Belle Morre, Bless you dear for being proper ! Yes be upfront and honest. Most of us older boys appreciate honest and upfront ladies ! I am a 47 year old disabled Christian gentleman and I thank you for being a good girl ! Jesus loves you and so do I !
2007-09-15 07:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything right away b/c if that's not what he's interested in then you might offend him. But if he starts acting like he wants to have sex before you are ready to then explain your reasons and tell him how you feel about it.
2007-09-15 07:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by h&t_oct282007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think that the age difference matters,it just worries me
could be jumping into the deep end,seeing that he is your
manager he could be taking advatage of you. be sure that
he understands that it is only a date and that is all!
good luck with your date.
2007-09-15 07:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by menace2dennis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's your boss, then he should NOT be dating you. Also, you should be concerned because men this age that are dating younger girls only want one thing. Don't do it. your heart will be broken. Look elsewhere. Out of your workplace.
2007-09-15 07:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by ani 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
please make him happy
2007-09-15 07:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by Hossam E 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋