How do you understand forgiveness?

Question

I mean, do you forgive only when the person shows you repentence or you forgive the person whatsoever? Do you forgive and forget? What is easier, forgive or forget?

Good answers.

In my opinion, forgiveness has to come with forgetfulness. However, when we loose the trust in someone, it is OK to forgive (I mean, let the person go, free him/her from the debt with you), and not forget (cut relationship). One thing I usually do is get away from the person, but still pray for him/her to find understanding of what he/she did to me. If he/she ever asks for forgiveness, I will certainly forgive AND forget.

Answer 1

When God forgives you, He doesn't remember it no more. Example.... if you were to see and ask God, Have you forgave me my sins. God would say, I don't remember, I have wash them away.
But..... As humans we can forgive one another, but we usually remember. To remember is fine, as long as the resentment is gone, and if it's not gone, that person has not truly forgave you.

Answer 2

You forgive for you, not for the other person. You forgive so that the products of unforgiveness...bitterness, hate, anger, vengance...don't come between you and your ability to hear God and follow his instructions and so that those negative emotions don't affect your happiness or your relationships with other people.

Repentance is the other person's problem...you forgive him or her for yourself but they don't get to accept that forgiveness unless they repent. Not at all unlike the way it works with God...he forgave all of us for our sins through grace...we are all already forgiven. However, we can't enjoy any of the benefits of that forgiveness unless we repent and accept it.

I'm not sure if forgetting is a requirement for forgiveness...it doesn't seem possible that we could actually forget that someone hurt our child or stole from us or betrayed us in some way. Perhaps forgetting is more related to repentance than forgiveness. My own brother betrayed me in some particularly evil ways and while I have forgiven him, I haven't forgotten what he did and he I have almost no contact with him. Perhaps if he ever repents and asks my forgiveness, I might be able to forget about the things he did enough to allow him back into my life...but for now, I know that trusting him would be stupid!

Forgiving is a lot easier than forgetting. Forgiveness is a product of our will...of our choice to let go of the anger and bitterness toward another person...forgetting is more biological...our experiences are imprinted on our brains...we might be able to push them to the back of our mind or even chemicallly supress them, but the memories still exist!

Answer 3

Q: I mean, do you forgive only when the person shows you repentence or you forgive the person whatsoever?

A: No. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself to cleanse yourself of the self-destructive alternative.

Q: Do you forgive and forget?

A: In a sense, yes. But forgiveness doesn't imply a failure to remember the reason forgiveness was needed.

Q: What is easier, forgive or forget?

A: Neither is easy. Forgetting probably is the more difficult. But it's the unnecessary side of the equation. The forgiveness side just tends to need repitition. It doesn't stay put when you tell it to.

Answer 4

As far as I understand forgiveness, when someone forgives you, they cancel the debt that you owe them. So, when we get consumed with self and materialism and judging others and all that other junk we do every day, we build up a debt of transgressions against God that only he can forgive. Or maybe, we've hurt someone with an affair or a half-truth or a verbal attack and we need them to forgive us. In each case the debt we owe someone else needs to be canceled. All that I can understand. But when we do this stuff we don't owe ourselves an apology, so how could we forgive ourselves?

I think what people mean by that phrase is, "Have you accepted the forgiveness that's being offered to you?" And that's the kicker. Because truthfully, most of the time I would have to say no. I don't really accept the gift of forgiveness because it takes a ton of humility and courage to accept the idea that I owe anyone anything--and even more courage to accept that they have canceled that debt.

I think its easier to forgive ... forgetting may never come depending on what it is. Now, what about people who have not asked for forgiveness? Chances are that if you look at your life you will recognize that there are people in it who you need to forgive who never have and probably never will ask for forgiveness. This could eat away at you. You need to choose to forgive those people! Maybe this will not entirely heal your relationship... maybe you still won't talk to them, or you'll still be distant from them, but you need to do this for your own sake. Unforgiveness is like spiritual cancer- and it has actually been linked to physical cancer. It sits in your soul, and eats away at your ability to trust, to be vulnerable, to love, and to be free. Choosing to forgive someone is choosing that freedom for yourself.

Answer 5

I forgive even before they ask for repentance. AS that isn't a requirement for forgiveness. And as a Christian I will do over and over again even if it is the same issue that needs forgiveness.
Now for forgetting something, it is hard as this is more of a matter of gaining trust again.

Answer 6

God forgave us while we were yet sinners- there is never an expception to when and if we should forgive- how the person receives that forgiveness is between them and God- if they are not repentent their sin is against God and not agianst you- forgetting is alltogether different- you dont forget and sometimes it is wisdom not to forget- if the person has not repented or changed their ways you do not want to put yourself or someone you are responsible for in a position to be hurt and you will walk more wisely in how you deal with them- forgiveness does not mean that you trust them and deal with them in the same ways again- forgiveness means you choose not to hold on to that particular offense any longer- you will not remember it against them, meaning you are not goign to seek retribution or vengance and you will choose not to dwell on it or talk (gossip) about it, you will not be angry at them over it- you are not only releasing them from your anger but you are releasing yourself- you are completely leaving the correction in God's hands and releasing yourself from the offense

Answer 7

From a Christian viewpoint, all human beings is my brother or sister. they'd do unjust issues, recommend issues, stupid issues, evil issues yet even although, they are brothers or sisters. So the object of forgiveness is to restoration the courting between kinfolk. That sounds too perplexing while it includes a rapist, yet that's what Christians are commanded to do. people who think of Christianity is trouble-free do no longer realize it. yet there continues to be the situation of effects. Forgiveness does no longer recommend there are not effects. For the sake of persons (additionally our brothers and sisters) evil deeds would desire to be punished. however the point of punishment and justice is likewise to restoration the courting. Forgiveness in basic terms is clever if we view all human beings as having the comparable Father and we are all kindred.

Answer 8

I forgive but I never forget.

Answer 9

Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting, or excusing.

If I say of someone, oh well, he had a bad day, after he shouts at me, I'm excusing (which is not necessarily a bad thing.)

But forgiveness is something purer. Forgiving is to understand fully that you have been wronged - and notwithstanding this - to love the one who has wronged you.

Answer 10

God gives us a good understanding of why we should always forgive in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matt 18:23-35). Also, He commands us to forgive without limit as He did (Lk 17:3-4; Matt 18:21-22)...and we are to do this from the heart (which means forgetting too)....here is a good example of someone who did just that....

Deborah Niyakabirika's story is chronicled in a World Vision Australia video, in which she tells of her son that was murdered in an act of vengeance, three years after the genocide in Rwanda. A few months after the murder, the young man responsible visited Deborah. He confessed to the crime and said, “Take me to the authorities and let them deal with me as they will. I have not slept since I shot him. Every time I lie down I see you praying, and I know you are praying for me.” Deborah answered, “You are no longer an animal but a man taking responsibility for your actions. I do not want to add death to death.” Then she went a step further. “But I want you to restore justice by replacing the son you killed,” she said. “I am asking you to become my son. When you visit me, I will care for you.” Today, he is an adopted member of her household.

God Bless.

Answer 11

I forgive the person regardless if he/she's really sorry or not.."...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...." How would I expect to be forgiven by God if I'm not able to forgive someone just like me (who makes mistakes)

it's easier to forgive than forget unless you lose memory after the incident or it wasnt that big a deal