Is patting during a hug an indication that the other person is ready for the hug to end? Is patting a patronizing gesture when done within a romantic relationship?My boyfriend whom I've known for 4 years and dated for 3 months and lived with for 2 of those months, pats me all the time. He'll roll over in bed and put his hand on my hip and pat it....he'll pat me when he's hugging me, I've always felt that patting is a patronizing gesture but I can't find any info on line about body language and patting...what do you guys think? Is he patronizing/condescending me...is he uncomfortable with our physical touch? Help, the patting is driving me nuts! Also, and good links to body language and patting?
2007-09-15 05:50:35 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why not ask him? The best way to find out what a gesture means to the person using it, is to ask them...patting is not always condescending, no. Some find any form of physical contact to be affectionate and maybe pats are just what he's comfortable with or picked up during his childhood.
Communicate...that another of those key elements to a successful relationship. ☺
2007-09-15 05:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think patting is patronizing at all. Lots of people pat each other on the back when they hug because it is either friendly or seems less gay. Has your guy had much experience with physical relationships? My guess is that it is just his way of showing his joy and love of being with you. Much like one would pat a dog to show them we love them. If it truly drives you nuts, you should say something to him. One needs to be open and discuss things that bug us if change is going to happen.
2007-09-15 06:11:53 · answer #2 · answered by soupkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always felt that patting was comforting.
When I wrap my arm around my bf and he pats my hand or my arm I take it as acknowledgement that I'm there and that he loves me.
Have you thought of maybe asking him what it means to HIM? If you are going to be dating and living with him you realy need to have open lines of communication
2007-09-15 05:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by buddys_angeleyes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think you're just reading into it too much. But if it really bothers you, why don't you just ask him about it?
2007-09-15 05:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Rizzle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋