If stuff we did (us 40-somethin's) didn't hurt us, how come our kids can't do it?

Question

we didn't get bottled water, we drank from the hose. we had 3 tv channels, and we had to get up to change them. there was no remote. if we misbehaved, we got daddy's belt. it didn't mentally handicap us or give us a sense of violence. it actually made us better people. we went barefoot. all the stores were closed on Sundays. no one was exempt from saying the pledge of allegiance. we ate all kinds of fatty foods, but we weren't fat. we played all day long. we didn't have any bike helmets, no seatbelts. yet we are all still here. but we can't spank our kids, because they'll think we hate them and they'll think violence is ok. they can't drink nothing but pure water or they'll get sick. have to wear shoes. if they don't believe in God, they don't have to say the pledge of allegiance. we have bike helmets, and seat belts (which aren't bad things). video games galore. all the stores are open on sudays now. kids think it's child abuse if we don't give them cell-phones, what happened?

and i know times have changed. i used to walk to the five and dime store when i was 6 years old by myself. but nowadays i wouldn't let my 6 yo son go to Family Dollar by himself. and yes, my kids wear bike helmets and seat belts. but the other stuff, video games, satellite, bottled water? who really needs that? my kids don't own any video games consols and we have basic tv. they don't watch it very often though because i make sure they go out and play every day (i go out and play with them most of the time). we've gotten to the point now that they don't even like tv, they think it's boring.

Answer 1

Well yes, you said it: Times have changed. We DO live in a different society & culture. I recall everything you mentioned, and am younger (I'm 34). But over the course of a generation the 'leading experts' have dictated what is considered good and bad parenting. There is an entire wall of PARENTING books at Barnes & Noble and other stores. There are contradictory parenting styles that warrants even MORE research and opinions!

At the same time, things that may have been taboo to mention in the 70's like child molestation and pornography are out in the open and exposed to our children. For that reaosn, we ARE more protective of our kids. It's a natural parenting instinct.

I recently read about a family who elected to have NO television in their home for a 5 year period. It extended over 18 years and 5 children. All 5 kids were their class valedictorian/salutitorian. Obviously the lack of TV sent a statement.

Answer 2

You know what, no. My parents didn't have that either. But we do now. We have seatbelts, video games, bottled water, we don't have to hit our kids with a belt to teach them stuff because we don't know any other way, and stores are open all week. Just because you didn't have them doesn't mean we should suffer without modern conveniences. You do have a point about cell-phones and not saying the pledge, however. I never use my cellphone, and I say the pledge whether I like God or not just because it shows support for America.

Answer 3

When I was younger i went roaming around the streets with my friends til evening, and my parents didnt have to worry as long as i got back on time for dinner. Now, I wont even let my kids play outside without my supervision. The times have changed and there are crazier people out there! Technology such as games, computers, the internet, more television shows have all lead to a fatter generation! Kids would rather sit in front of the computer eating McDonalds than go outside and play freeze tag or street hockey, like we did when we were younger! I miss being young again!

Answer 4

The same reason kids are over weight now days cause they sit inside and play video games and watch tv instead of going outside and live real life, most kids are spoiled cause they cant get spanked anymore, they have cell phones,etc cause the parents allow it and shouldn't. they are kids after all why do they need a cell phone? A lot of people have forgot what real life was like before electronics......I think people should turn off the tv and laugh and enjoy real life before it passes by...the old days were great.Everyone must of forgot.

Answer 5

I'm not sure what your point is. You seem to understand that ALL of us did not do well without bike helmets and seat belts and you seem to understand the benefit of them but, you aren't sure why we have to have them? There's no question that the vast majority of the time, no one gets hurt when you drive in a car or ride a bike. However, the purpose of things like helmets and seat belts is to prevent serious injury or death in the unusual (that' the GOOD news) case of an accident. It's no so much that these accidents are likely. it's that the consequences of them are so awful. Some people wouldn't get cavities no matter how much sugar they ate or how little they brushed their teeth or how seldom they went to the destist. But, we now recommend that children go to the dentist regularly and brush their teeth every day and try not too eat tons of sweets because that makes it less likely that they will get rotten teeth. Rotten teeth aren't ALL THAT BAD but, if it's avoidable then it's worth it, now that we know what it takes. I totally disagree with you about hitting kids with belts -- I think that's an awful thing to do to someone simply because they are smaller than you and you don't like what they're doing and they can't hit you back. There is a tremendous amount of violence in this world and whatever can be done to curb it at all, should be done. Smacking someone with a belt is disrespectful. It is violent. It invokes fear in the child. It teaches them that as long as you are bigger and stronger, you can get your way by being violent. My kids go barefoot sometimes and I like to let them go barefoot. However, in other parts of the world lack of shoes causes deadly diseases and simply wearing shoes can save thousands of lives -- people get worms because they don't have shoes. In this country where that is less of a threat, you can still get hurt by going barefoot -- there's broken glass mostly from beer bottles all over the place. Should I let my kids go barefoot there just because they can? And yes, we ate fatty foods and so did our parents and grandparents but, we did not have a diet filled with high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated vegetable oil. And they wallked far more than we do now and they weren't nearly as sedimentary in general as we are now. And we have the knowledge now about how to possibly prevent diseases that are caused by too much fat in one's diet, so why not use that info to our advantage? There are undoubtedly million of people who will live long lives even though they eat those awful products but, medical science (as imperfect as it is) now believes we are better off without them. You can do what you want with that information but, I'm glad we have access to the information. I don't think a reason to not spank your kids is that they'll hate you. I don't know any anti-spanking advocates who think that. Getting spanked is humiliating and degrading and violent and unnecessary but the reason not to do it is not so your kids won't hate you. Kids go through phases where they hate or dislike or are embarrassed by their parents whether or not they are spanked. I don't like the fact that stores are open on Sundays and until late a night. But, that's because the government really has no right to tell the store owners that they are NOT ALLOWED to open on Sundays. The government took away the unfair laws that made it forbidden to be open on Sundays and I agree with that even though I'd rather have the stores not be open. My kids don't drink bottled water because I think it's a terrible waste of resources. It pollutes the world for no reason at all. The reason bottled water is popular is marketing and in this country people are free to market products that are not necessarily beneficial. We don't drink soda in our family either -- except occassionally when we go out for dinner. I don't like the fact that the waiter automatically come over and refill my kids' glasses with more soda! My 18 year old daughter got a cell phone 2 years ago and my 11 yr old does not have one. He knows he is not abused. It sounds like youi need a self esteem boost if your kids have the power to make you feel abusive just because you haven't given them a cell phone.

Answer 6

As far as bottled water, I give it to my son because there are lead pipes coming into my house. Maybe the people who lived here 20 years ago would actually have higher IQs if they had known then what we know now about the effect of neurotoxins on the brain. Instead, they're probably going through their lives just a little dumber thinking it's just because they didn't study hard enough. It's my job to protect my child. So I buy water. Tragic though it is.

Answer 7

I agree with you. I grew up on a farm and being kids of a farmer their was always work to do, but we still got to have fun. We didn't have game systems or cable and I raise my kids the same way. They have chores, very limited t.v. time and aren't allowed to watch many shows. They get spankings when needed. I always feel like I was born after my time..lol. Way back when you didn't have the problems you have today.

Answer 8

You are lucky. Not all of "us" are still here. Two of my childhood friends were killed riding their bikes, *one hit by a car, the other in a horrific fall) and another child I knew, who was beaten with his father's belt on a regular basis, grew up to murder his wife and will spend the rest of his life in prison.

Those of us who are here are often here in spite of those things, not because of them.

A classmate who was part of a Jehovah's witness family, was indeed exempted from saying the Pledge,and this was in the early 69s!

Answer 9

I agree completely! I wish every day that we could go back to the days where what we worked for is what we got. Today, kids are selfish and your right everything we used to do it's too dangerous today. It's society. Unfortunally there's not much we can do although I wish we could. Good question!

Answer 10

yes we used buckets to drink water with in 60's. lol not true its funny we did the same things drinking out of hoses and we even used to be in woods and drinking otu of trees together with holding water and we're still alive. well i did get spanked till 16 and i made it and w3ell you know what take care.