I am kinda depressed about this.....I am expecting my second child but my first with my husband.?

Question

We both have children from previous relationships who are older. I am due in 3 weeks and not one person has gotten us a gift or hinted at us needing anything for the child. I passed on my baby stuff from my first child to family members and I stated that it would be awhile before I had another child so there was no point in keeping theses items because they are now outdated. I was hoping -and I hope it doesn't sound conceited- that they would help me get new items for this baby since that is what I did for their child. Maybe I am overreacting and the hormones are raging--------- but a child is exciting and no one that knows us seems to be since we already have children. We are in financial trouble and the family knows this.

Answer 1

The EXACT same thing happened to me recently. I have a 4yr old from a previous relationship and have a 9 wk old with my new husband.( his first and only baby) I guess everyone assumed we could afford to buy everything we need, which we can, but I still thought I would get some kind of gifts from someone. Although, I also know it is not traditional for a second or susequent baby so I pretty much bought everything I needed. BUT....they had his cousin's/best friend's wife a really nice shower "because her youngest was 7" .Now, that kind of burned me for awhile. I sent a gift but was kind of afraid I would go all big and pregnant and have someone say, "When was your shower?" and I would go,"Oh, I didn't have one. You bitches didn't throw me one" LOL!!! I just felt almost like she was held in higher regard than me because I haven't been married to my husband very long. I am over it now because my baby is here and I am actually pissed at myself for buying as much crap as I have for the baby. He could care less ! I know it hurts tho . Have you hinted or confided in a TRUSTED family member or friend that you wish someone would have a shower ? Maybe they just expect that you have or are getting what you need. I know that's what my in laws thought. Let me tell you, tho, I am glad I never said anything at the time and got my temper up because once my baby was born, I wanted everyone to see him and they did.Just ask a close family memeber if they have thought of throwing you a shower as you could really use one. Congratulations on the baby !

Answer 2

I am hoping that you are in a situation in which people will buy things after the baby is born. The thing is, there is no way to know if this is going to happen or not.
My sister went through the same experience. She has 4 kids, her last is by a different father. She had barely anything and has made it thus far. My neighbor is an avid thrift store and garage sale junky. She decorated her baby's room with 50 dollars. The room is beautiful! Once I saw the room I went to the local thrift stores and did some painting and cleaning too. I have only spent 100 dollars. There are a lot of things out there that just need some painting and deep cleaning. Just try to think that these things really do not matter as much as having a healthy baby.
Are you having a boy or a girl? I have a few clothes that I can send you if you like? e-mail me: [e-mail].

Answer 3

I totally understand this situation. I got pregnant right after Hurricane Katrina which means I evacuated to another state my family moved back to LA. I expected my family to send gifts, cards.. basically anything to help out. But.. it didnt go that way. No baby shower, no gifts barely a phone call. I was the hospital for 2 weeks after having my son. Once I got home, I began to login to ebay.. and bid on lots of baby items - some of these lots were over 65 outfits including shoes, bibs, bottles, etc. I would say I spent about 400.00 on ebay alone.. But it was well worth it . I didnt have to purchase anything except for extra that I wanted for the baby here and there. Everytime I got paid I would purchase small things, you would be surprised how everything multiplied. Now.. I am pregnant with my second child, the thing is I gave my sons cloths to a coworker in need. So basically I am starting all over again. I am on ebay everyday, walmartonline, and oldnavyonline. I plan to purchase things and bargain at the same time.

I would say check out ebay. I am a great buyer. I tend to go there before I go to huge dept stores. I compare the prices and its usually a big difference. I wouldnt say I regret giving my sons clothes and baby items to someone who was in need. But next time I will wait before giving EVERYTHING away.

Wish u the best !

Answer 4

I am expecting my second in December. My son is only 4 so I do still have a lot of what I need and don't expect a baby shower. I do however need some new things. For example the crib I used turned into my sons bed. The bassinet I had was junk and broke. I hated the high chair I had. Needless to say I need new items as does any mom to be. So... I took the first step. I made a baby registry at Babies R Us. I then sent an email to my mom and mother in-law. I said I am not expecting a shower, but I also realize people may want to get the baby something. I made a registry if anyone wants to know what I need. Besides that I now have a list for myself. My mother in-law thought it was a great idea and agreed with me.

Good Luck. Not sure if you have it in your area, but you could type Craigs List into your search engine and the name of your city. You can find some really great deals on used items people are selling.

Answer 5

Maybe people are planning to bring gifts to the hospital. I always bring a gift even if it's not the first child for the couple, it's still a joyous occassion. I hope that your family and friends will come through when your baby is born. If not, you have been clearly notified that purchasing gifts for children other than the first is something they don't do, so you can save your money the next time one of them has another child! God bless.

Answer 6

I can relate with having children is exciting regardless of how many you have. I know it can be costly, so do what is necessary to get by. Yard sales, family members that have stuff the child had out grown etc. I sure you want your child to have the very best . But sometimes you have to crawl before you can walk. And believe it will be costly to keep the baby feed and changed.

Answer 7

They might not be treating your situation as special because it is not your first child. Hint around. Ask people if they know anyone who has had a child and has outgrown their baby clothes and toys. Also, put an ad in the "Wanted" section of the "For Sale" section in craigslist.org. Explain that you are having financial difficulties and would appreciate if someone could donate any clothes or toys that their children might have outgrown.

Also, did someone give you a baby shower for your first child? If your mother is living, then you could ask her to throw a baby shower for you.

Answer 8

I feel for you. You are not the only one that has or is going through this. Seems like either his family isnt fond of you or your family is not fond of him, never-the-less, this is your child and you have to take care of him/her. Do the best you can, maybe your husband can get a second job and you can do home daycare out of your home. There is good money in daycare.

Answer 9

ok. am gonna be bluntly truthful and additionally you ca take or go away it. I had childrens youthful so its in contrast to i do no longer understand its frustrating artwork and additionally you permit out out on issues...yet improve up. whenever you waste time aggravating approximately all the flaws you're lacking out on you shift your concentration from efficient...to unfavorable. Your marriage had no risk for the reason which you based on all which you probably did no longer have, could no longer have.all which you wanted you had quite of gaining know-how of to be chuffed and thankful for all you dd have. be taught to construct on and improve what you have. YOu sound such as you have a bloody sturdy husband and a very good father on your infants. he would not need to be harm via your immaturity. t is commonplace to have an interest in persons. you're married, no longer ineffective. Your selfishness and immaturity got here once you entertained that attraction. you don't get to shrink that via asserting you advised the different guy no longer something might ensue...you nevertheless stored in touch once you knew how unfavorable your thoughts have been. you in basic terms think of the grass is greener. m husband and are complete opposites. we've a great marriage. We comprehend each and every others alterations and snigger mutually. exchange your physique of suggestions. Be nce to our husband. be taught to comic tale snigger and play with hm lower back. shrink all ties with the different guy. make a real attempt to your infants, you don't get a raffle to be youthful lower back. YOu blew it. it is easy to have relaxing and revel in existence although. in case you alter your physique of suggestions. This has no longer something to do alongside with your husband and each little thing to o with you. you additionally can nevertheless be taught with childrens. t extra durable, yet once you pick for to undesirable sufficient...you may..I. did. All marriages have stale era. Or situations the place you won't be able to even stand the different individual. You get via it. once you do you pop out the different area extra suitable. And yeah.that's well worth it

Answer 10

Oddly enough, the same thing happened to me. I was just as hurt as you are. No baby shower, nothing. Everyone just thought it was "old hat". To me, every new baby is special. Why don't you just throw your OWN baby shower? No-one need even know!! Just send out the invitations... I ended up making most of the baby clothing by hand myself. It's amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it.