at work yesterday ,(i work in a restauraunt) we were suppose to give people compliments and this white guy said to this black guy when he came in "you look awfully dark today"
how can he say this? people laughed but the black dude didnt seem offended although it was offensive to me even though this guy didnt say that mean comment to me, but anyways, what would you have done if someone told you this and your black and the person that told you was white?
2007-09-15 03:13:50 · 7 answers · asked by angel 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If the opportunity arises I'd tell the white guy how "white" he's looking today. What a jerk. I'd address it with the management as suggested earilier.
2007-09-15 03:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If the comment was not directed to you, you should not be offended.
Obviously, your black co-worker was comfortable with the statement and saw it as a joke. Would it have been equally offensive if the black co-worker told the white one , "Hey, you're looking especially pasty/pale today?"
Not to get racist, but probably not.
Plus, you don't know their relationship as friends. That could be a running joke. It's not for you to know. I doubt he would have said the same to you, b/c you don't have that kind of a relationship.
Just mind your own business.
2007-09-15 10:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Subtle racism is prevalent and exists in the workplace today, however, if black guy didn't seem offended by it, no harm no foul, right?
But, if you are genuinely offended by the comment you should talk with the meeting organizer who felt compliments would boost morale somehow, advise them it failed because YOU were offended by a comment not directed at you, but it bothered you.
Bad management when manager could not decipher a compliment from a non compliment in that type forum.
2007-09-15 10:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥JDub♥♥ 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Just because it is offensive to YOU does not mean that it was offensive to HIM.
He should not apologize.
If I were in either of those positions, I'd laugh.
2007-09-15 18:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would feel really awkward not offended... I mean he was probably trying to be funny or something, even if he wasn't at all.
2007-09-15 10:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by Way Out There 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get the stick out of your *** and recognize a joke when you hear one.
2007-09-15 13:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
depends on the manner and tone he said it in....like was it a joking tone,or a serious tone or what?
I mean if i knew that he was just stirrin and muckin around i wouldnt really be offended but if he was serious about it i probably would
2007-09-15 10:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Alyce S 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋