I and my b/f are on the verge of a breakup! Please tell me if its my fault or not?

Question

My b/f of 5 yrs thinks i am insensitive because i am not able to talk to him b'coz of the 12 hrs time gap we are having. (He has gone abroad for 2 months for his job.) When it is night here it is day time there and he has to be at work and when it is day time here i am busy. He never talks to me when its day there but expects me to. He says that since i am a college student i shoudnt find it too diff. I always have to talk at his conveniecne, and despite all this he keeps feeling that he is doing a lot for this relation while i am not.
I am at the end of my string, but the idea of a breakup still makes me sad, so i apologised to him. But he hasnt accepted my apology and says he finds it fake. I did apologise wholeheartedly, but it doesnt seem to work with him. He always wants me to beg him to forgive me.
This time though i dont want to do it, but i am still confused. Is it right? or am i too egoistic. But i do feel hurt when he never considers my problems. Please help.

Answer 1

It needs to be give and take in any relationship. He needs to make time for you as well as you making time for him. It really doesn;t sound like it is going to work. Find some one who will make time for you and is not so self important

Answer 2

First of all i'm sorry, that things are so frustrating. While i can't say that i've been in your exact position, i have been married for nearly 17 years, and have 3 children. And our marraige has been quite the rollercoaster! This decision is hard to make because it's not just about you, there are children involved, and your heart - the hope that she wants to make things work and that she's willing to work at it. The best thing that you can do at this point is to write down your situation (much like you did here) but more concise. make it in outline form if that helps you. Then write down your feelings and how/why they are involved. When you've done that, you will be more clear, and better able to communicate, with your fiance. And thereby giving the opportunity for dispassionate discussion instead of bitter argument. It sounds like you have made it through 7 years and still trying, and this can only help :) It is important for all your feelings to be out there, yours and hers. So that you are heard and understood, even if you disagree. Best case scenario, you end up seeing eye to eye and this just becomes a mole hill in the landscape of your relationship. Worst case scenario, you discover that you each have different needs, and they aren't being met by each other. This is where counseling/couples counseling, can be very beneficial. If she's not interested in working together to make things better, then, you know your options better than any one else. It is important to remember that no matter how the two of you end up, you will always be co-parents, and a civilized adult relationship is mandatory. Good Luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 3

This guy is a as*hole. If he really cared about you he would try to figure out a way to put aside a hour or 2 a day for you and him. I understand the time zone difference. Maybe he could go to bed a hour later or get up a hour early. It could be worked out some kind of way on week ends or something. Dump him. He is not the one for you. You don't owe him nothing. A relationship is a 2 way street and he is not doing his part. There is 1 thing i have to give him. If he is working like day shift there and it night where you are it is hard to keep communication open. Maybe you should try writing each other while your apart? Just a idea. Or break up?
P.S. Don't beg. Only dogs beg. Don't lower yourself like that. If he loved you he would not ask you to or make you feel like you should

Answer 4

Quite honesty, if he won't accept your apology and wants you to beg, then he is not a stable, normal person and you would be better off without him. There are a lot of men out there who, while not being bad people, cannot have a stable happy relationship. Your BF is probably insecure and is using his "abuse" of you to bolster his ego. If you beg him for anything, then this "proves" that you love him and he must be worthy.
It's very difficult to ever be happy with someone like this so maybe a breakup would be a blessing in disguise.

Answer 5

IT IS non of your fault .this relationship was doomed for failure. No relationship can survive with that distance.The only reason breakup makes you sad is because you have gotten attached to the boyfriend .but at the end of the day I think you know it is the right thing to do.Move on and if in later life you where to meet each other again then that's when you can decide on whether to give it another try.THIS IS JUST TO SHOW YOU THAT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD TO WORK OUT.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry
Look, he isn't treating you the way he should
He wants you to beg? Oh come on get real
You need to find a sweet gentleman that appreciates you for the wonderful person you are
look you seriously sound like such a caring person just from reading this

please just break up with the jerk
you deserve so much more

sincerely with kindness,
Natasha

Answer 7

OH NO it's not your fault and I hope I am wrong here but

I think if I said something like that to someone it would be cause I am feeling guilty myself for something. In my experience the one who blames someone for something is the one who is feeling guilty.

I sure hope you work it out

Perhaps you could appologise to him again and say to him that your studies have had you very busy and stressed. Tell him you would like to know when is a good time to ring him and have a decent chat.

Maybe write a letter to him and send him something really nice and totaly unexpected.

Good Luck

Answer 8

your bf is just insensitive, selfish, and definetly a male chauvenist..why should you be begging when you did nothing wrong?? you are now just a college girl, you are still very young, there are still along way down the road and there will be a lot of better men out there for you..forget about this bf of yours and remember time will heal all wounds.

Answer 9

sweetie to me it sounds as if he doesnt want this resolved, i know thats an aweful thing to say, and as i dont know all the details i may be wrong, but it sounds from your notes that he just doesnt want to make the effort with you, and rejects you when you do. maybe he's looking for an excuse to pick a fight? youv been together for a long time, and your young, college is obviously going to take up alot of your time and energy, and as hes the one thats gone away, i dont understand why he feels its your duty!
to me, its sounds like he wants to fight with you. that doesnt mean hes going to end it or that you should, but just be confident. youv done nothing wrong! this is probably just a blip, or may be his guilt materialising because he has gone away.
i wouldnt worry. x x just be confident, and wait for him to come home before making any major decisions, but this is definately not your falt. x

Answer 10

It is not your fault don't apologised. I think you always apologized even if it's not your fault. You always show you love him. Try something new. Break him. Let him do the first move to win you back. If he do, he loves you and if he don't he doesn't love you. Learn to forget him, he don't deserve you. Look for another guy who will love you more, more than you love him.