Okay, i've had no help with this from my friends, so it's all up to you guys!
Theres this guy that i really like, and we had something a few years ago, but i stuffed it up, and now i really like him and me being me, texted him confessing my feelings, and he says that he's not sure, he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment. What does that mean? that he's being nice by saying that he doesnt like me? Or what?
2007-09-14 21:36:19 · 13 answers · asked by Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You were in a relationship with him a few years ago, but you "stuffed it up".
You texted him and he said he's not sure - he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment.
A couple of key points. "not sure" is not a definitive no. "at the moment" leaves the door open for a different time.
Here is what I imagine is going through his mind. You and he apparently had a real relationship. You said you stuffed it up, which I imagine means that his feelings were hurt. From his perspective, getting back together with you means "real relationship" and probably getting his feelings hurt again, so he is hesitant about it.
The whole "real relationship" and hurt feelings thing is not what he is interested in right now, is what he is saying. He might see you as being too emotionally intense and that doesn't sound like fun to him.
However, I think he would probably be up for something lighter, less serious, less emotionally intense. Try being a little fun, flirtatious, easy-going with him once in a while- not stalking him, but just to let him know you would like a fun, easy-going, friendly relationship with him, without coming out and saying something threatening like "let's get together again" or confessing your feelings.
Unless the light, friendly sort of relationship is so not you that you can't avoid making it into an intense, emotional relationship. If that's the case, you will inevitably mess this up and it will end up like your first experience with this guy.
You say "me being me", meaning that you know yourself and cannot stop yourself from doing things that aren't the best choice sometimes. So, since you say you know yourself, think about whether or not you can help develop a relationship that meets his needs, not just yours.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-09-15 02:11:37 · answer #1 · answered by Ron L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be any number of things.
For example, is he focusing on his education or his career?
Is he struggling with overcoming an addiction and needing to spend time on introspection?
Is he religious and focused on that aspect of his life?
Is he fresh from a long relationship that ended badly and not wanting to rush out on the rebound?
Did things end badly with you and he's afraid of getting hurt again?
is he interested but uncertain, so wanting to take things very slow and avoid setting up expectations as he renews your acquaintance?
Is he giving you the polite brush-off?
Is he saying that as a ploy so that you'll pursue him?
It really could be any number of things and I have only mentioned a few.
If you've been together, you probably have enough openness with him to ask him directly. You probably also know him well enough to rule out some of the possibilities I have suggested.
None of us know the answer and anyone here who claims there's just one answer is being foolish and simplistic. All we can do is suggest possibilities. Weigh them for yourself and let them guide the questions you ask, if you decide to ask him more about it at all.
2007-09-14 21:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by Gnu Diddy! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say usually its a way to let down a significant other easily without hurting their feelings. in that same respect he is really saying he does not want to be with you and i want to see other people,but in a nice way. And since that is the case maybe you should move on and also look forward to seeing other people cause you may find a guy thats better then him.i think your young so just give it time .
2007-09-14 21:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by kingml213 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people simply enjoy living alone. I had a relationship that didn't work out, so I grew accustomed to living alone. It's been so long now that I have no wish to share my life with anyone, though I have many friends. We give each other lots of space.
2007-09-14 21:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by Ebby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are pretty straightforward. When he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, it means he doesn't want to be in a relationship. I think your key error was in texting him all this, rather than talking to him. You can't change that now, but you can learn from it. Don't pursue this guy, find someone new.
2007-09-14 21:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I reckon that "at the moment" means right now with you. Maybe tomorrow he'll want a relationship with someone else?
2007-09-14 21:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by dweebken 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that he doesn't want to be with anyone right now. Just be his friend and know that you won't be intimate with him for some time. This too will pass.
2007-09-15 00:53:12 · answer #7 · answered by green3ch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a friendly way of saying he's not interested in you anymore or maybe you hurt him very bad that he doesn't want to get hurt by you again.
2007-09-14 21:44:39 · answer #8 · answered by khutso m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means, HE DOESN't WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE AT THE MOMENT. gaw
2007-09-14 21:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by Mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means exactly what he said. He's just not on that right now.
2007-09-14 21:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋