calls and tells you his/her father died last night and asks if you would be a pallbearer at the funeral. You know that your friends dad was a Christian man, and you know the funeral will be in the church he belongs to. You also know that the preacher will have a sort of sermon in the church and also at the cemetery along with prayer. Do you say OK to being a pallbearer, or do you say no? If you say yes, what would you do at the sermon part of things? What would you do when they pray? Would you try to think of other things? Would you not pray? Or, would you just sort of "fake it?" Just sort of go through the motions all while thinking how stupid this is and kind of wish you would have made up an excuse -said no- to begin with. What would you do in such a situation?
2007-09-14 21:08:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If I were a man, of course I'd be a pallbearer. And honored to be so. And being a pallbearer has absolutely *nothing* to do with any sermons that might be delivered. By the way, I'm an atheist who buried my Christian brother 3 weeks ago. I certainly didn't 'stand around and feel stupid'. I did my very best to comfort his wife and his children, and my mother. I reminisced, just like you would. I also cried, just like you would. You need to learn to let go of your misconceptions of atheists and atheism.
2007-09-14 21:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by I'/\/\AZILLA2 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Depending on how well I knew my friends father, I would accept or decline as pallbearers are usually chosen from the deceased close friends and relatives not those of their relatives left behind.. (If my freind indicates I am needed as there is no one else I accept regardless of how well I knew the father.)
I would sit quietly with my own thoughts throughout the services, I would abstain for Amens at the end of prayers as Amen indicates agreement with the prayer spoken, I do not agree with the prayer as I do not believe the deity (whichever it may be) exists to be prayed to..
I have attended religious funerals in the past I have never had a problem respecting the beliefs of others even when I do not share those beliefs.. I sit quietly and think about the deceased remembering good times and bad times, saying my final farewell to the memory of them...
Just because I am an Atheist doesn't mean I am gonna jump up and yell "All this praying to a fictional deity is a crock." and disturb others...
2007-09-14 21:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If they were a good friend as you say then they would know about me being an atheist. That being said I would respect their family and the wishes they wanted for their family member. I would not fake praying, it is pointless. I would respect the family, do my duty as a pallbearer, and honor the loss of the father.
2007-09-14 21:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by ndmagicman 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sure, why not? That is his wish, and I would do so. Bow my head while the others pray, and remember this man as he was in life. Wouldn't think it was stupid-- everyone is entitled to their beliefs. I would be honored to be a pallbearer for a loved one, what does religion have to do at all with love?
2007-09-14 21:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by mathaowny 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely. I'm followed and I'm joyful I knew. I simply located my Biological Mother five years in the past. It used to be surely an revel in and a few what a alleviation. Be cautious although. You do not wish to fan the flames of someones existence. They would have a purpose why they did not inform her.
2016-09-05 14:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect for my friend and his/her dad, I wouldn't decline. Everybody knows that I'm not a Christian though, so while I'll sit quietly during the sermon and everything else, I just don't participate in the prayer, song or other forms of worship.
2007-09-14 21:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by dead_elves 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sumankhs is close to the truth.
It does not matter what your religion is. The condition of the dead is God's department and He treats evetyone the same, regardless of what we believe.
We should be reading his word to find out what He wants of us.
Amazingly, the Bible does tell us what the condition of the dead is. Most do not know because they have not been shown.
(Ecclesiastes 9:5-6) For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all, neither do they anymore have wages, because the remembrance of them has been forgotten. 6 Also, their love and their hate and their jealousy have already perished, and they have no portion anymore to time indefinite in anything that has to be done under the sun.
This scripture shows that there cannot be ghosts...spiritual parts of dead people surviving death...nothing survives death.
And religions that teach such falsities do not know their Bible. It is in every one. check it out.
2007-09-14 21:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by pugjw9896 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Seems to me, atheists differ so much in their opinions that they shouldn't categorize themselves, as satan would have them do, but and I pray would give room for reasonable doubt, and allow for God to work in their hearts as some are good and have the respect to honour their Friends wishes without being silly about it.
2007-09-14 21:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would go just to show support to my friend and be there for him at the time. During prayers at funerals, etc. I don't pray or "go along with the motions." I just keep my head up and the people who might be offended by it aren't because they're busy bowing their heads, eyes closed, praying. It works out fine and it's only a minor inconvenience.
2007-09-14 21:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by Neoholbach 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Like macabros says. Try not to sneeze or pick your nose during the religious bits.
Most funerals are more about the persons life than about their religion anyhow.
2007-09-14 21:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋