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i want her to have fun and i love her to death. but she is drinking and she is only 16. its starting to become a regular thing for her and i really wanna tell her that i dont like it but i dont wanna do anything that will make her feel like i am tryin to hold her back

i am wrong or what
i need some help

2007-09-14 19:30:35 · 36 answers · asked by chris l 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

36 answers

wow this sounds EXACTLY like the situation I was in but my ex gf wasn't as bad..but when she drank she would get really messed up which isn't good for her image cause guys would just look at her and think of "she'll give it up easy" and I hate that..you need to let her know from time to time like "hey, it's ok for you to drink..but not to the point where you can't control yourself" just let her know how you feel and go from there..I got mad at my gf whenever she got really messed up and the next night she wanted to drink again but she knew this time I was for real. but you gotta let her know that it needs to slow down..

2007-09-14 21:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by rf21 2 · 0 0

No, you are right to not want to have a third partner in your relationship. Booze can quickly become the other lover.
The only thing you can control is yourself, though. You can sit down with her and tell her that you don't want a girlfriend that drinks and she can either agree not to or disagree. You can try to find things to do that do not involve partying and drinking.
Also, keep in mind that when teenagers drink they are at risk to do things they wouldn't do sober. Like sex, drugs, any type of overly risky behavior. If you two are intimate you must use protection for yourself. There is no use in you getting an STD. When she comes crying to you that she's sorry but she cheated cause she was drunk, it is too late to protect yourself. And by that point you will have an alcoholic girlfriend and a possible STD.

2007-09-14 19:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 0 0

No you are not wrong. At the age of 16 she can become a alcoholic in just a few years. Then she will have a problem for the rest of her life. It will destroy her marriage, her family, her children, her job. etc. Stop her if you love her. Tell her that she can have two days a month that she can drink. IF that is not enough then you need to find a different girlfriend. If she gives you up for the booze, then she all ready has a problem.

2007-09-14 19:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by gigi 5 · 0 0

You don't say your age.

You also don't indicate whether she loves you as much as you love her.

So here's the hard part. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how much her drinking worries you and how it can damage her forever, and how you love her too much to just let that happen.

She may reject the message. If she does, break off the relationship and find a drug-free girlfriend.

If she continues to drink bad things will happen to her and eventually to you.

Drinking in moderation when you are of legal age, is not a bad thing. Drinking to excess at any age will just lead to problems.

2007-09-14 19:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0 0

the two your mum and dad are lacking, IMO. you're minors and that they could be charged with the two ignore and contributing to the delinquincy (sp?) of a minor in case you all have been pulled over or brought about and accident. "Trashy" is an opinion. you're entitled to it. She's no longer entitled to you judging her even with the shown fact that. yet...it is likewise no longer controlling dislike it if she will become a various individual while ingesting, or can't administration how lots she liquids, can't end as quickly as she has began. Dude, if she liquids to get below the impression of alcohol 9esp at sixteen), she has an alcohol difficulty and desires help, no longer her mum and dad and you permitting her. I recommend Al-Anon for you, and a call to CPS approximately her mum and dad if her ingesting is complicated and that they stand by ability of doing no longer something. Are you keen to end the relationship if she would not make that regulate? that's not egocentric to choose her to be healthful.

2016-11-15 06:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by mangiafico 4 · 0 0

No, your not wrong. Developing a drinking habit has its different effects on different people. Not all girls respond to this in the exact same way. Things should be fine, tho, if you simply express to her that you don't like it, giving legitimate reason/s WHY you don't (good reason/s), and make sure you exaggerate the fact that youre NOT trying to hold her back or tell her how to live her life. Tell her that you love her and youre worried about her.....and that youre only bringing it up becuase you care about her.

2007-09-14 19:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by Char-Char 1 · 0 0

This is a super common problem. Does your gf already know that you are totally against her drinking? If she does, then she is completely disregarding your feelings. If she doesn't, I would suggest having a talk with her. Just explain that you aren't into that scene and you don't want to date someone that is. Let her know that when she drinks, it's a total turn off and she's not attractive to you. If she doesn't want to change her ways, you have to make a choice. You can't force anyone to change, but if she really cares about herself, you and saving the relationship she will at least consider your feelings on this. Who wants to be with someone that doesn't care about how they feel anyway?
hth-
BT

2007-09-14 19:38:09 · answer #7 · answered by B T 1 · 0 0

Help her to stop drinking.

Drinking is an addiction; quite similar to drugs. Addictions take time to be given up. Help her out--instead of her going to her friends or something to drink go ask her out, watch movies or something. You've got a very reliable position too. You're her boyfriend so you can tell her what you don't like about her or not! it's not even a fit thing for her age to drink.

2007-09-14 19:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 0 0

Regardless of age, anyone drinking heavily is inching or striding ever close to alcoholism, a drunk driving date with jail time and/or death and perhaps permanent bodily damage.

I never saw the fun or sense in drinking till you get f*cked up.

You're not wrong with wanting to save this girl from making permanent life changing mistakes from alcohol abuse. You need to write your feelings down on why you want her to stop.

If she pushes you out of her life, God will know you've done what you could to save her; what happens next is HER fault.

You are the hero here--either way this turns out.

2007-09-14 19:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0 0

No, you are not wrong, you want the best for her. You'd proabally die for her if she is all you ever want. try and approach her about how you feel on the situation. She will proabally says it for fun, but voice your concerns. maybe tell her parents. she wont be happy but you have to whatever you can for the one you love right? maybe some acholich classes. just let her know your there with her... thats what she needs the most. is there something that is causing her to drink? is she drinking because of pain? maybe you should try to find that one out.


i wish you the best of luck

hope i helped!

2007-09-14 19:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by Hannah H 1 · 0 0

You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. If it's just starting to become a regular thing maybe you can get her to stop before she becomes an alcoholic. You are not trying to hold her back you are trying to save her from a horrible addiction. If you are unable to get her to stop drinking then you need to talk to her parents. They may have to put her in rehab. I hope you will talk to her soon.

2007-09-14 19:50:51 · answer #11 · answered by sara 3 · 0 0

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