i hate my family....all they do is talk about ppl behind their backs and i just think that they are negative people who are very judgemental! i was wondering when i have children should i let my family be a part of their lives? i have no brothers or sisters so im mainly talking about my mother and father. my mother is EXTREMELY emotionally abusive and my father just goes along with it. i'm concerned. i really want my future babies to have a positive life and i dont want them to be around my family. any advice?
2007-09-14 18:29:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ok i obviously am thinking of having children so dont tell me not to worry about it yet!
2007-09-14 18:40:12 · update #1
Contact Dr. Phill. (You can find his show on line.)He loves tp help kids like you. Looks like a reality check for the family is due right about now. Good luck young one.
2007-09-14 18:36:40 · answer #1 · answered by It All Matters.~☺♥ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First ; all parents treat grandchildren different than they treat their own kids. Usually a lot better.........me included. Second by the time u have kids u will have changed ur mind and heart. You'll need help raising them, if not financially at the very least with advise. And YOU WILL find yourself telling your own children the same things your parents told you, that you hated to hear. I pray u find gentler ways. It is just the circle of life. Ur mom may have been EXTREMELY emotionally abusive to u, did u ever ask why she was so hard?....Could you be hard headed?
2007-09-18 16:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by Laura F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yaknow, honestly... kids change people. You probably don't need to be stressing about this until there are actually kids in the picture, but, if it helps... I have loads of family problems. Most of my problems with them stem from drug and alcohol abuse (as in they do and I don't). My kids don't see my family very often (once every few years), and when they do, it is supervised by me. Try that as a starting point, and see how they do with that before making any firm decisions. It'll be your job as a parent to safeguard your kids, so always go with your gut... if you try letting your kids have a relationship with your family and you feel it isn't in the best interest of your child, then make that choice then and don't spend a moment feeling guilty about it. I never have. My family made their choices, I made mine.
2007-09-14 18:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by Doriayn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother's grandmother treated her horrible as a child, and she rarely allowed her to be apart of her children's lives. I grew up hating my great grandmother, but when I was around her, all I could do was feel sorry for her and the way that she chose to treat my mother. She chose which of her family that she wanted to be nice to, so I recommend that you take your children around her every now and again to get a feel for it. DONT allow them to become too attached, and then go from there.
2007-09-14 18:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not. It sounds like your mom was awful and there is no reason you should put your kids through the same. I am not one of those people that thinks BLOOD means anything. It is just a technicality. Should your mom change by the time you have kids? Re-think it then.
2007-09-14 18:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by 8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom is crazy I have always told my kid's that she is not normal, but she is theire grandmother. I limit the visits, also attempt to control situations, but family is family and as long as she doesn't so really stupid things she can see the kid's. I figure my kid's my rules if you as a grandparent can't follow them you can't see them, rules include how my mom can speak to the kid's
2007-09-14 18:36:20 · answer #6 · answered by reggie29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
purely check along with her approximately it. tell her the countless peircings you have an activity in. Make it sound like this is in theh destiny. Like "ultimately i'd like my lip and tragus peirced". See how she reacts. then you definately can convey it up back in some weeks as "do you think of i could do the two?" and if she says "no" then you definately purely get the only she will enable. She's obtrusive fairly comfortable with peircings so i do no longer think of that soliciting for an added one and purely seeing how she feels approximately it is going to push it. Now in case you call for it and get all pouty and sulky if she says "no" then ya, this is pushing it. yet asking in no way hurts.
2016-10-04 14:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worry about when you actually have kids. Talk to your parents before you have kids. A lot of families have judgmental, backstabbers (mine included).
2007-09-14 18:34:48 · answer #8 · answered by acatisacomintogetcha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything you will look back on and have what if's.. or regrets. They are your parents no matter what. Just limit your children's time with them. Don't take it away all together. When you notice she is starting up, its time to go... This way you are not bringing your self to their levels.
2007-09-14 18:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Live out of town and visit them rarely. You could limit their time with your parents to only when you are there to protect them, and leave if they become abusive.
2007-09-14 18:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋