My niece is 3. This little girl is pretty spoiled. I love her a lot, but when she is with her mother, she is a monster! Throws unbelievable tantrums and hits and kicks her mom. My SIL is very indulgent with her daughter and ALWAYS makes excuses for her bad behavior (she's over-tired, she's over-hungry, ..etc). My niece was throwing a typical tantrum because she didn't want to eat dinner, she wanted doritos. After kicking, punching and screaming, for about 30 minutes, my SIL gave in and let her have a few doritos saying that if she ate her meat she'd get more. My triumphant niece, exhausted from battle continued to whine while she ate the six doritos. My SIL then did the inbelievable. She turned to her daughter and asked, "do you have a headache? Is that what's wrong, honey? Do you want a tylenol? Will that make you feel better." My niece put on a pout and nodded. My SIL opened the bottle, and gave it to my niece!!! she took out two pills, ate them, and ran outside.
2007-09-14 18:22:32 · 13 answers · asked by baxter 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Should I be shocked or what????
2007-09-14 18:23:05 · update #1
By the way, she is my husband's sister. His response to the situation: nothing, he said, "never get into a land war in asia."
2007-09-14 18:56:05 · update #2
My sister had a similar problem with behaviour from her two girls (though not quite as bad as that). She always looked tired and worn out and just gave in after a while. Her husband is a corporate computer programmer who is on call 24/7. No help there.
One school holidays, we volunteered to take her kids for a week, telling her she looked like she needed a break.
She said "I couldn't load you up with these two, you'll never want to see them again!", but we talked her into it.
Our main reason for doing it was so we could show the girls what discipline was. To cut a long story short, it worked after about two days. We had them asking for things politely, eating their meals without complaint (well, not too much!) etc.
They weren't perfect of course - the moment of indecision, staring at you, then deciding they'd better do it your way.
When my sister arrived at the end of the week to pick them up we told her they had been angels. After she got back up, we explained what we made the girls do if they misbehaved in any way, stating that they were house rules and all kids in this house followed them.
She and my wife are costantly talking about it now (I'm just the dumb guy again) and her girls are much better these days
So perhaps your husband might help you do something similar?
About the drugs, the girl's health is more important than what your husband's sister thinks of you. You definitely should have spoken to her about it right there and then (out of earshot of child of course).
2007-09-15 02:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by MH 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, shocked, or maybe even horrified. The behaviour -of both your niece and you sil's parenting style is one issue- but one your husband may be right about. I do like the idea of taking the little darling for a week, if circumstances allow.
The main issue here, though, and the behaviour I find appalling, is the Tylenol. (BTW- the toxic level for a child that age would be anything over say, 2 grams- but then, it's a cumulative toxin ).
Your sis is setting your neice up for a life of drug dependence, if not down right addiction. We have become nations of pill pushers, and this kind of attitude is exactly what starts it- "Just take a pill, honey, and it will all be better."
I guess I don't see that much you can do about the spoiled part, but I would definately say something about the 'drug pushing', especially if you can find a tactful way of bringing it up.
I do think your neice is lucky to have an auntie that is concerned for her. Bless you for caring.
2007-09-15 20:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by mannon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your SIL needs to learn how to say "no" and mean it without giving in 30 minutes later. I think your SIL needs to learn how to be a parent in general, because if she doesn't step up to the plate now, your monster of a niece will be WORSE when she gets older. What's the point of saying "no doritos" (or anything else for that matter) when you are just going to give in when you're tired of hearing her scream and kick.
And your SIL needs to learn what to and not to give to her child (medication wise).
2007-09-15 02:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm...I think that's borderline child abuse. Does she always dope up her child? I have a 3 year old as well...who would LOVE to get away with throwing tantrums but does NOT get away with much! I would NEVER give her two Tylenols and send her on her merry way! (Especially after a battle like you described!) I think there are some serious issues there and you should either look more into it and let someone know, or choose to ignore the situation completely and butt out. Sorry to be blunt, but that's pretty shocking! Good luck! :)
2007-09-15 01:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mr and Mrs Doe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately your husband is right. There is nothing that you can do, and saying anything will just cause problems.
Yes it is appalling that this child is being mistreated by not being given discipline and morals. And in another few years the mom will be wondering why this child is getting into trouble but there is nothing to be done. Perhaps once the child is in school she will learn a little, although it is doubtful.
2007-09-15 07:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's spoiling the kids rotten and making a rod for her own back. The child is just going to get more demanding and manipulative with that kind of parenting, not less. I'd hate to see what she's like when she's a teenager if she's that horrible at three.
2007-09-15 04:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by KooriGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...that's pretty weird. It seems like I have been hearing about this a lot lately, what is with parents over-medicating their kids??
It sounds like your SIL doesn't know how to put her foot down when it comes to disciplining her daughter! I feel sorry for her because she will be dealing with the backlash of her "actions" for years to come!!
2007-09-15 01:32:55 · answer #7 · answered by western b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should mention this to your brother... if he doesn't do anything you should talk to your SIL.. and if that doesn't help.. it sounds bad, but hot line her,, cause you can seriously hurt your child by doing that.. its overdosing.. and it will cause your niece to be a hypochondriac.
DO NOT USE TAPE THAT IS CHILD ABUSE!
2007-09-15 01:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by tuya02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, wait until she gets older and her mom is making excuses for her! she is gonna be hell on wheels! and a three year old should not be given 2 tylenol.
this mom is turning her daughter into a monster, thiss is not the kids fault, they will push as much as their allowed, mom will learn when school starts
2007-09-15 02:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by charm1936 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is wrong, you should never give drugs to a smal child, especially that type, calpol maybe only if they do complain the do have a headache, i think your SIL needs her head checking!!!
2007-09-15 01:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by vic6981 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋