Child to funeral?

Question

My husband has a friend that he hasn't seen in five years. The friend has moved away. My husband used to be neighbors to him while growing up. The friend's father passed away the other day. My husbands family is going to the funeral. I have never met the friend or his father. We have been married for two years and have an 12 month old son. Is it inappropriate for us to go as a family? Should I go? Can we take our son? He is usually on good behavior and of coarse I would leave with him if he wasn't....What do you think?

I'm not worried about my child being frieghtened...I'm concerned if it is disrespectful?

Answer 1

Don't take your son. My friends wife died recently, and I took my then almost 18 month old son to the wake and funeral because I had no one to watch him. The good thing was he made a lot of people laugh with his general cuteness. The bad thing was I had to constantly chase him around and take him outside repeatedly because he was crying or throwing a tantrum because he couldn't run around and destroy the place. He was disruptive during the prayers, and I ended up sitting in the car with him during the burial so he wouldn't make a scene. He made A LOT of noise during the service, I was so embarrassed and I missed the entire thing. Don't take him. If you have to, stay home and let your husband go. This is such a sensitive time for that family, and you should be considerate.

Answer 2

My grandmother recently past away and I didn't take my kids, they are 4,2 and 1. The reason being the 4 & 2 year olds would not have liked to see us all crying and the 1 year old would not sit there quitely for that long.

You know your child, if you think that your son could be on his best behavour then by all means take him along, he is your son, and you did say you would take him out if he started to misbehave. You and your husband should decide, I wouldn't worry about what other people think.

I took my eldest son to a funeral when he was first born thinking that he would sleep through it and he didn't he screamed for his bottle I obviously wasn't fast enough, but the daughter and grand-daughter's of the decesed said it made them laugh.

Take some things with you for him to do, pencils, paper, snacks, drinks, anything that will keep him occupied and just make sure you have a clear, close exit if he does loose his temper.

Hope this helps,
and condolences to your husband and his family.

Answer 3

it particularly is an enticing undertaking. depending on what the kinfolk members's lifestyle is, many distinctive subject concerns might desire to ensue. At a common Christian funeral indoors the U.S. (the only variety i've got have been given attended), there's a viewing of the physique for form of an hour till now the church provider. Mourners walk by way of ability of the casket to declare so long. Then there's a church provider, inclusive of a eulogy of the deceased. The burial at a cemetery oftentimes follows, and then a repast (amassing with a meal the two on the kinfolk members's residing domicile or the church). this is genuinely no longer a celebration, in common words a time to mirror on that guy or woman's existence and communicate. you're able to desire to apply this as an complication-loose define, and upload your guy or woman touches. There particularly isn't some thing that may no longer allowed (apart from church policies), yet undertaking-loose etiquette might have those in attendance be respectful of the deceased and all people in attendance, and to dress modestly, yet no longer too casually.

Answer 4

i have been to funerals where there were small children as young as ur son and thought "why did they bring a child?" Even at their best behavior, kids are curious and just don't know any better and can be a distraction. Try to find a sitter. If you can't, maybe u can bring him into one of the other rooms and u and ur hubby can take turns with him.

Unless it was a close relative, I'd find a sitter. If u don't know anyone in the area, maybe u can ask ur hubby's family or friends to sugguest a sitter.

Answer 5

I have never seen a kid that young to be present in a funeral.I wouldn't if i were you.For so many reasons.It is not a pleasant place for the kid.Kids are unpredictable.You never know what they will do next.What if he passes a loud gas in the middle of everything,or poops.What if he gets cranky god knows for some reason.12 month old usually don't like to seat still.For the sake of everybody it is not an appropriate place for a 12 month old.I don't think anybody will be offended if you didn't go.

Answer 6

I would not take a 12 month old to a fueral if I did not know the family personally. It could be disruptive and i'ts best not to take risks. They will be very sad/distressed and may not want a toddler. On the other hand they may find him a welcome distraction....kids cheer people up dont they? Why not ask someone from the family?

Answer 7

me personally would never take a small child under 8 years old to a funeral i always left my children with a sitter unless the person that died was a really close relative funeral's are a freighting place for a child to be good luck i hope you make the best decision for your child

Answer 8

when my uncle died I took my son (he was 3), and it was awful. He could not sit that long, he was upset by others crying (as well as me). My husband finally had to take him out to run around. I would get a sitter.

Answer 9

IN MY OPPINION , I SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU GOING AS A FAMILY. THESE PEOPLE KNOW YOUR HUSBAND . I'M SURE EVEN IN GRIEF, THEY WOULD LIKE TO MEET HIS FAMILY. AND SEE HIS CHILD, THESE ARE THE THINGS WE DO AT FUNERALS. AFTER ALL FUNERALS ARE FOR THE LIVING, NOT THE DECEASED.IF IT WERE MY LOVE ONE, AND OUR OLD FRIEND CAME I WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IN NOT GETTING TO MEET HIS FAMILY. BEST WISHES TO YOU.