Having problems with my son. I sent him this letter. What do you think?

Question

13 years ago, my life was changed forever.
I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.
Every day since, my heart has been filled with so much love for you, that sometimes I think it will explode.
I’ve watched you mature into an independent, creative, and amazing person, and for that, I am proud and happy.
For all of your life, you and I have had an amazing relationship that has given me more joy and happiness than I could ever deserve.
But recently, you and I seem to have drifted apart.
You’ve made it abundantly clear to me, in many ways, that you don’t like me very much.
Whatever the reasons, be it my quick temper, my desire to teach you responsibility, or our need to save money wherever possible, I want you to know that you can get mad at me, you can hate me, but I will always try to do what I think is the right thing for you.
I know that you have reached an age where being cool in the eyes of your friends seems to be the most important thing. I was a 13 year old boy once, and I felt the exact same way. However, looking back on it, I can tell you truthfully, that it’s actually the least important.
One of my greatest fears is that you will make some of the same mistakes that I did. I was lucky to have survived them. But I don’t want you to ever depend on luck. I want you to always depend on your intellect, your heart, and your faith in yourself. I KNOW that you have a good head on your shoulders, and that if you are ever in a situation that requires you to choose right from wrong that you’ll make the right choice.
Son, I miss laughing with you.
I miss your ideas, and your jokes.
I miss the feeling of knowing that you’re excited to see me.
And I can’t even begin to describe how much I miss your love.
I want you to know that you can always talk to me.
I want you to know that I love you more than life, or anything in it.
And no matter what,
I always will.


Dad

Answer 1

OMG

I dont even have a father, he is a drug addict and an alcholic.
I wish I had a Dad like you.
I cried reading your letter to your son.
I only wish I had a Dad
I know i would have been a "Daddy's girl".
I hope everything goes well with your son.

Answer 2

Yes. But you cannot count yourself as someone who is objective. Is there anyone else at school that is a friend (your friend or his friend that can offer an opinion, see things from a different angle perhaps)? The reason I say this is because maybe there is something that you are missing that would be pertinent and helpful to solve the problem. From this, it does sound like the teachers and administration officials are apathetic to your son's needs. To me, that borders on criminal and negligence on their part. It is not easy being a child in school, especially if you are different. I feel for your son. However, with my step children, they complain a lot about school but I see that some of their problems are self-created (laziness, bad attitude, etc.). I would meet with the teachers and principal again. Have a clear agenda of what you want to discuss. Let them know ahead of time so they can prepare. If they get off topic, politely steer them back on topic. Tell them that enough is enough that you are there to make sure that your son is receiving an education. He is trying and a good kid. They need to stop singling him out and start building him up because he's trying. Keep at it. It is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease after all. Best of luck to you. You are not alone. I went through some of this growing up as did my younger brother (one of them). I wanted to go there and knock someone silly. He got teased from the other kids as did I and to have a teacher do it as well. That's just completely unacceptable. Enough is enough.

Answer 3

As you stated, we have been there! I am 52 now and still remember being in my early teens. Stop and think Dad...he is just a little boy, he loves you, but something is bothering him...as everyone else has stated, there is a time to listen. You did not tell anything detailed why he is upset...let him read the letter and just tell him that you will always be there for him as a father should be and I feel he will come around and at least want to talk with you about his pains and worries and unjustness, Good Luck Dad!

Answer 4

KUDOS TO YOU - Sometimes it's easier to write things to make sure that it comes out just the way you want it to - and this way when your son reads it - he can take his time and read it over and over again until he gets it -

Your letter was so heartfelt that I had tears in my eyes - My dad was my best friend - he passed away 3 years ago and I miss him - thanks for sharing.

After you give it to him - give him time to respond - and just remember he may not respond in the manner that you would expect - However - you will notice at some point that he did read it - it may be 20 years from now when he shows you your letter in his wallet.

Never give up - he didn't ask to be here - and unfortunately you did not have the opportunity to choose his personality at his ripe age of 13 (smile) But you have planted a seed of love and in time you will see the fruits of your labor and how wonderful that will be.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

that is the most beautiful letter that ive ever seen. i wish you the best of luck, and if i can give you some advice right now, as i too have children. 1 is 34 and my youngest daughter is 24 still living with me. kids at 13 might not look at this letter the same wa a more mature child would, not saing that your son isnt mature but he will look back on this letter when he gets a lil older and it will mean more to him. i say give him the letter, it is beautiful and truly from the heart. but dont give up on him at 13 they have "better" things to do than kick it with their parent (s) i wish you were my dad , I'd snap out of the phase and be a good kid. it is beautiful letter.

Answer 6

That made me cry. Very nice letter. However, I think you should take out the whole part about how he feels about you, and your differances. Just making it a letter about how your feeling about him is better, then letting him know that some of his action's your don't like. And just remember that he's 13 and going through a lot of stuff at this age. Things will get better once he matures a little more.

Answer 7

Letter is great, no doubt. But I believe open talk should be much better, face to face, eye to eye, like two men.
If there's something your son dislikes at you, try and find out - then correct if he's right. Also talk to your wife.
Please remember, your son is only 13, the debut of adolescence which is by definition a very stormy period. Your son experiences a great deal of changes to which he tries to adjust; occassionaly, he might be wrong.
Another problem is his circle of friends. You do whatever it takes to become his best friend, no matter what. But to achieve such goal is a very difficult task; it implies negotiation skills, compromises, patience and much love. Eventually you'll be successful.
I'm sure your son loves you very much and surely he needs you. You're his hero, his model - try and get closer to him and stay there. Spend time with him and respect him, in order for him to respect you.

Answer 8

From a dad to a dad, keep fighting. I have a 19 yr old daughter and went through some problems starting when she was 13. I hope you will do better but she is just coming out of them. I put up a hell of a fight, she hated me (so she said) but I did not give up. Anyway, it was worth it. She is back in my life and she is doing great and she is on track to build a good life for herself. Keep writing, keep talking and keep supporting him, do not give up. You wrote a great letter and it is important that he knows that your door is always open. He will come back and he will thank you for your unwavering love and support. Hey man, there is a lot of dad's out there that are going through this, those of us that survived are pulling for you hard. Good Luck

Answer 9

WOW to have a Dad like this lad has. I hope he realises how fortunate he is. Give him the letter, it may change his life. I know if I were on the wrong track and my father had given me such a letter, it would make me stop and think.
You are a great father and I wish you well as you travel through the great storm of the teenage years - ride it out together and I promise you, it does end and you will come out of it on the other side intact no matter how bad it gets (mother of six, stepmother of three, fostermother of one)

Answer 10

Beautiful. Funny how we want to be able to tell our children to miss all the potholes that we tripped in-in our youth. Crazy enough, sometimes they have to experience it for themselves to learn those important life lessons. I like the way you kinda included that in your letter. The age of thirteen is really hard to deal with. It's sooooo much drama regardless of if it's a boy or girl.

I think you are doing fine... Good job, dad...