Farting in bed?

Question

At nite I like to lay in bed, spread my cheeks, and fire off some juicy, chessy, egg and bean stink bombs!! But sadly my girlfriend doesnt appreciate my gift of gas. What should I do?

Answer 1

YOU have a girlfriend?! I doubt that.........

Answer 2

There used to be a pair of undershorts you could buy with replacable charcoal filter packs. I'm not kidding! The same company made a square cushion with filter packs so you could let loose while sitting on it. Maybe you could just let loose and say nothing. When she complains, you could just turn around and accuse her of farting! hahaha There are 2 other strategies and you might ask her which one she prefers:1) fart under the covers (the covers will trap the smell for a few minutes til someone lifts up the covers) 2) fart outside the covers -- it will smell but just for a few minutes. Frankly this business of farting is way overplayed-- ppl just need to fart and everyone does it. In the end, it evens out. Other ppl fart and get relief while you suffer. When you fart, you feel better and they suffer briefly.

Answer 3

May I just say....that is really gross. And I don't blame your GF for not liking it...most girls don't! So if you must release your gas...don't do it in bed and go to another room to do it like the bathroom or something. You don't want your GF smelling your stinky gas. Have some respect too...and you're farting the same place where you would normally make love with your girlfriend so big no no. Good luck!

Answer 4

I have been married twice and you all totaly do that. Every boyfriend, regardless of race, age, intellegece ect, has all let massive big farts in bed for pleasure and also to annoy me. We will never appreicate it. It smells horrible and sometimes i can taste it like oil on my skin or something.. gag gag. However, she will have to get over it or find a man with some kind of couth,( aint gonna happen). I truly suggest that you poo before you go to bed and spread them.. some times a fart is not a fart.

Answer 5

properly, i do no longer look after my husband 'letting rip' constantly, even even with the shown fact that it would not get to me sufficient to end me going close to him, her husband is fortunate she would not have a colostomy...there is no administration by any ability... the only distinction is, the scent is trapped interior the bag!!! i think of he ought to advance up slightly, partnerships are approximately acceptance of the different, and taking the solid with the undesirable, i'm enormously confident he does annoying issues too. has his annoyance continuously been there, or is this a clean element? if a clean element, i think of the excuses why that's without warning starting to be an argument ought to be puzzled, as there ought to be an underlying clarification for his exchange in direction of her.

Answer 6

Maybe your diet needs help?

Cut the cheese in the bathroom and light a match to erase the stench.

Answer 7

Familiarity breeds contempt. Keep your farting out of bed.

Answer 8

Hahaha - fart under the covers, and then wave it around - dutch oven style!
Those ones are the best and worst! lol

Answer 9

Stop the gift of gas.

Answer 10

i am more than open to farting - it makes you feel good -

but there are three places you do not fart -

kitchen - ( food area )
car - ( closed in area )
bed - ( i dont want that smell associated with my man in a place we do the nastys )

Answer 11

You should get a girlfriend who appreciates your gifts.