"plan in the very near future to buy a house" ??
the wedding debacle is a minor issue compared with signing a mortgage document with this man
don't do that
if he buys a house and invites you to live there, you can leave at any time; if you buy the house and invite him to live there, you can ask him to leave at any time; if you sign on together on a mortgage, you owe for 30 years whether you live there or not
don't put yourself in that position unless you know you are number one in his world
2007-09-14 16:03:32
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answer #1
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answered by yyyyyy 6
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If this was a question of being invited to the wedding or not, I would say you have no right to complain because you're not engaged or living with him. But he was able to bring you, and he didn't for some strange reasons. If he's planning on raising this baby, why is he hiding it from his extended family? Aren't they going to find out anyways? Also, why does he believe he has to constantly supervise you? Have you done something in the past that has made him believe he can't leave you alone or you'll get into trouble? I would ask him to explain his decision more thoroughly. It sounds like there are some communication issues here, which doesn't bode well for the future. Make sure you two agree about what you want in your relationship and in life before you move in with him
2007-09-14 15:51:43
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answer #2
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answered by ? 4
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You have every right to be angry. I wonder what his real motive is?
I think it is not so much questions about the pregnancy he fears, but the commitment...to you and the baby. I think that more so than dealing with the pregnancy, its going to be questions about why you aren't married yet or even affianced.
Even you indicated that he is your SEMI-significant other, which mean there isn't a full commitment outside of having a child together -- otherwise he would be your significant other.
Be sure to let his sister know that you would love to be at her wedding, but that you respect her brother's wish not to invite you. Congratulate her on her special day, send her a special card and/or gift just from you (not you and her brother).
Then, take time to think about if you want to be with someone you treats you with so little respect and consideration. You will have a beautiful child to raise...respecting yourself and your own strength will make a better role model to that child.
2007-09-14 18:34:47
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answer #3
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answered by Jenny 4
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I don't think you are out of line feeling hurt.
He does not want to deal with the extended families' questions, that is understandable. At a wedding everyone will be asking why you didn't get married before the baby came and things like that.
I would have hoped that if his sister knew you were together and planning a serious future she would have addressed the invitation to "Jim and Katie" instead of "Jim and Guest" but because she didn't all you can do is tell you're man that you are hurt but you'll still have to respect his decision
2007-09-14 15:47:24
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answer #4
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answered by buddys_angeleyes 3
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I would have been beyond livid if I were you. What does you being pregnant have anything to do with a wedding? 5 months is nothing. I could see if the wedding was on your due date and you weren't sure if you would be in labor at that time, but that's crazy at 5 months. So what if his extended family asks questions. If everyone else knows about it and is fine with it, who cares about the extended family? If you're having problems like this, I can't image what's going to come up with raising a child. If I were you, I'd run...fast.
2007-09-14 15:50:19
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answer #5
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answered by Cindy 3
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What a wimp! Why would you want to stay with a guy (not a man, because a man wouldn't be afraid to face the music). And he wants to drink rather than worry about you, the mother of his child. OMG....I think you need to really re-evaluate this guy. If he's not mature and not willing to MARRY you and do the right thing, perhaps playing 'pretend' with him is the wrong route????
The only other possible explanation would be that someone in his family has asked that you not show up because they are ashamed of the pregnancy w/no marriage and he's covering for them....Still, not an outstanding situation.
2007-09-14 15:57:44
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answer #6
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answered by reddevilbloodymary 6
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I would send her an invite anyway. Chances are you still have time before the wedding to work things out, and maybe sending the invite will give her a clue that you still care and would like to patch things up. Trust me, if you don't send it, it will probably only make things worse.
2016-05-19 23:02:01
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answer #7
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answered by louann 3
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I have been there, my ex bf of almost 8 years, who I lived with did not invite me to his family weddings or events. If he doesn't change now, he will never change. You are the mother of his child, you should be allowed to be there as his significant other. What a jerk. I mean his sister will be your childs Aunt. You ARE pretty much part of the family. I'd be upset too.
2007-09-14 15:54:08
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answer #8
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answered by Jasmina 4
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sounds like he is bring a jerk especially since the child is his! what the hell is he talking about. Doesn't want to ask questions? he does realize that he is going to have to asnwer lots of questions in a few months and look like a real butt for not saying something sooner. I'm 24 weeks and 3 days pregnant and my Fiance loves to take me to everything. he carries around the ultrasound pics and shows everyone, family and friends. in fact he has to go to a wedding reception tonight without me because i have to work and he was upset. says that he hopes i get off early so i can go and meet him there. sounds liike your man is not being a man the two of you need to talk. sounds kind of like he is denying his own child not wanting to asnwer any questions about it regardless of the situation he should be happy to be a daddy.
2007-09-15 03:50:34
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answer #9
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answered by Supermommy!!! 5
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Oh wow- I feel for you. You are justified in feeling hurt and bewildered. But, this is a great opportunity to see what type of man you will be living with, and you can ask yourself if you really want to start a life with a person who thinks that way and places that type of value of your relationship.
I know this is a hard answer to read, and I really feel for you. But, it's good to see these cracks in the relationship BEFORE you buy the house together, and not after.
2007-09-14 15:51:56
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answer #10
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answered by dma 3
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