My husband say he is preacher, but he treats me like dirt. He pays no bills and say he is leaving. Does God not deal with his conscience? How can he not fear God? I have done nothing to deserve this. If I leave because of his emotional abuse, would I be wrong?
2007-09-14 14:48:23 · 91 answers · asked by lzbthsykes 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Let him leave you. He doesn't deserve you.
2007-09-14 14:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
No, you aren't wrong to leave.
A lot of abusive men hide behind God. No, they don't really fear God. For them, it is just words they use that helps them get what they want. Sometimes an abusive personality willl find a way into a position at church in order to have power over a great number of people. Exploitation can be easy for some people. If in the name of God, it's even better.
I have a hard time being a "Christian" because of some of the pastors within my own family.....I cannot go to some churches because of what they remind me of.....I became Catholic, then Ba'Hai to avoid a certain kind of church. I cannot attend a Baptist or even "born again" church at all without feeling anger of some kind.
You have my sympathy. I would leave too. Know you cannot know the mind of God. It may be there is a better man for you that you were meant to be with. You should know evil is really in the heart of your husband. Just be glad you were not physically abused in addition to the emotional abuse.
Best wishes.....
2007-09-14 14:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't do this. He is not a serious Christian. If your church believes in giving discipline to the members, then you should report what your husband is doing. Your husband deserves to lose his appointment as a preacher.
I'm sure you are having a rough time, but rather than leave your husband, continue to pray to God for strength to bear what your husband is doing to you.(Romans 12:12; 1 Peter 5:6,7; Psalm 55:22; Philippians 4:6,7)
Continue to let your conduct serve a witness to him so that maybe he will be "won without a word". Don't give him any reason for genuine complaint against you.(1 Peter 3:1,2)
When he tells you that he is leaving, tell him you don't want that because you love him, but if he wants to leave, that is his choice.
I am assuming that he hasn't committed adultery against you. If he hasn't, then tell him you fully support God's standard for marriage and should he decide to leave you, you will still be obedient to God and not seek another mate, unless he becomes unfaithful to you.(Matthew 19:9)
Your firm stand for what is right may move him to change his ways.
2007-09-14 15:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not married, and only 17 i have had friends parents like this... they stayed in the marriage and was miserable. You wouldn't be wrong. You have to do what's best for you. If he keeps emotionally abusing you why stay? It will only get worse. He's a hypocrit. God will deal with him... and when you leave i'm sure he will realize what he has done and his conscience will eat away at him. Again do what's best for you even if that means leaving I don't think you wanna be sad or miserable until god knows when. Good luck, and who knows you might find something better out there for you.
2007-09-14 14:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello. Do not let religion confuse you. Your relationship with him should be based on what is best for the both of you. If that is not possible it should be based on what is best for YOU. Make sure that you are safe both emotionally and physically. I'm sure that it is hurtful that he claims to be religious but doesn't act the part. However, that is between him and God, or him and his conscience. The longer you stay with him the more bothered you will be by his behavior. If you have children it is your obligation to keep them safe physically and emotionally. Do not feel guilty and even if you do feel guilty at least feel guilty and leave anyway.
Take care of yourself. If he does have a relationship with God, as he claims, then God will look after him.
Good luck!
2007-09-14 15:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by shani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not much of a preacher if he treats you that way. A true preacher should not just preach and teach Gods word, but he should LIVE Gods word. He needs to read, learn and live the following...
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
and
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
I've known some so-called "Christian men" that treat their wives wrongfully. Your husband needs counseling and to start living those verses.
2007-09-14 15:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by David T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse than, physical abuse -- and leaves just as many scars. Get out, and get help from a domestic violence center and/or some kind of therapy. You do not deserve to be treated like dirt; you are a child of God.
.
2007-09-14 14:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by Stranger In The Night 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you would not be wrong, you don't deserve to be abused in any fashion, show him the door. He can't really be a man of God if he treats you this way, he is only a fake preacher, but you can't fool God.
2007-09-14 14:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by onyx1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off have you bathed lately? If not try that. Secondly, I believe he could be part but just part devil have you considered this? My wife would consider your husband a saint compared to her boyfriend. Man he is a jerk. My wife sometimes screams obscenities at me while shes clipping my toe nails. Sl*t!!! When you mention that YOUR husbands a preacher do you mean "bible thump-er" or does he just steal from the congregation? Man my wife's boyfriend made a lot of money that way he is so cool I wish I could be like him. But seriously lady this is your life so bow your head and pray that the big guy upstairs treats your husband the same way he is treating you. Peace were out
2007-09-14 15:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by Reese's Pieces 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
According to the Bible, the wife is supposed to submit to her husband.
I'm sure your "preacher" husband has pointed these verses out to you a few thousand times, yes?
BUT
Has he gone just a bit further, and told you that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church?
Did he mention that he is to love you as he loves his own flesh?
Did he maybe tell you that he was to honor you as the "weaker vessel"...committing himself to care for all of your needs?
Did he, perhaps, bring up the notion that he was, if necessary, even to die for you?
Yeah, that's what I thought....
Because, when you come right down to it, he has the greater responsibility before God. And, because he has called himself a messenger of God, God will hold him to a greater level of responsibility than He would another man. Believe me, he will have to face God with his failed marriage...and his responsibility for it.
No, you would not be wrong to leave because of emotional abuse.
A "preacher" who treats his wife "like dirt" is worse than an infidel...and you are completely exonerated by his falsehood.
Go with God, Hun!!
2007-09-14 15:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not everyone who says they are a Christian is one and yes some of them are 'preachers'. If he were Christian he would know to love you and treat you well, better than anyone else on the face of this planet. God gives us free will so he can't force your husband to be a husband, abuse is not love and a man who abuses his wife is nothing more than a lowlife. Pray. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-09-14 14:59:36 · answer #11 · answered by LaptopJesus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋