My friend and I kind of got into a debate the other night. She was talking about how she thinks having her 2 year old in daycare Monday through Friday from 8-5 is better then being a stay-at-home Mom with him because she feels like he gets more socialization. I think that if a mother has a choice that being a stay at home mom is beneficial to a child's well-being and socializing them a couple days a week in addition to that is healthy.
What do you honestly think? Working moms... if you had a CHOICE would you honestly still put your kids in daycare Monday through Friday... or would you stay home with them more?
Just curious.
2007-09-14 13:56:25 · 29 answers · asked by Classic Claire 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think there are pros and cons either way. You don't need daycare to socialize your child though. If you get involved in things like library story times, playgroups, Sunday School/church activities, then you can have a well-socialized child. I stay home with my sons and work part-time (nights, from home). They are not lacking for socialization. Honestly I did not want to leave my son to be cared for by others, although it is a reputable daycare in our town.
I think you make the best choice for your family, be it day care or staying at home. I don't really think there's a "wrong" choice as long as you feel you're making the best choice for your family.
2007-09-14 14:37:28 · answer #1 · answered by TNEmily 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a mom, but when I was growing up my mother did home daycare so she could stay at home with my sister and I, so I do have some views on this.
I think that neither option is exclusively better. Kids should have socialization, and I think it's also good that they be under someone else's supervision sometimes. Moms today have a tendency to spoil their children to the point of brattiness, and often, working moms either are too tired to discipline their children, or try to overcompensate for their absence by giving the child everything it wants. So sometimes it's good to have the child spend a few hours with an impartial person who can both give the child affection, and give it discipline. And there's no denying that child-to-child interaction are important for development.
On the flip side, I have seen parents who drop their kids off an hour or more before work (so they can have a quiet breakfast) and leave them at daycare until the daycare closes- regardless of what time they actually finished working. Many even try to find places to put their kids on evening and weekends. At that point, the lack of parent-child bonding becomes detrimental. The child will start to act up and throw tantrums when being dropped off, because it feels so abandoned. Sometimes, they will then proceed to throw a fit about being picked up again- they are happy at daycare, and frustrated with mom or dad, and their tiny little minds can't work out a rational response. Usually, these start as small problems which escalate as the parent tries to spend less and less time with the unruly child, who in turn becomes more unmanageable as their home life is cut shorter and shorter.
Bottom line, I think the best solution is to give the child a few days a week in daycare (or find a job where the child can go to daycare only a few hours each morning or afternoon, and spend the rest of the day with the parents) so that the child receives a healthy mix of socialization away from the family, and bonding time at home with the family.
Just my 2 cents (and 22 years experience!)
2007-09-14 14:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by Dreamer 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I am a SAHM of two kids - a daughter almost 2yrs and a son 5 months. We belong to a local playgroup, so my kids are getting plenty of socialization. I would prefer not to have my kids in daycare (though if I had to work I would do it). It is not for socialization that keeps me from wanting to use daycare. It is that I want to be there for all their firsts and all the cute baby/toddler accomplishments. I don't want to find out from someone else that my child learned to crawl or said their first sentence.
The stay at home moms vs. working moms is quite a heated debate. Neither side is right or wrong, it is all just personal feelings and guilt attacking the other side. Each mom will choose to do what is best for her family - emotionally, socially, etc.
2007-09-14 14:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I wouldn't put my child in all day childcare if I had a choice - but some mothers don't like being with a toddler all day long. They don't have as much patience.
That's not to say they're bad mothers - but they know their limits.
I missed my daughter so much when I went back to work that I quit my job, figured out ways to make money at home - and vowed to stay at home until she went to school. Well, she's at school now - in college - and I was able to work from home all those years. (And for many of them I was a single mother - so I wasn't able to do it because there was a second income.)
All you can do is be the best mother you can. For some of us - it means staying home with our kids. For others, it means working - and putting the kids in daycare. As long as we love them and do what's right for us (and pray a lot) our kids will be OK.
2007-09-14 14:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If I got to say home with my kids I would only put them in daycare for a few hours a week. Maybe 2 days for 4 hours. Just so they could play with other kids and it would give me time to do running around.
2007-09-14 15:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by proud mommy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if I had a choice, I would work part time and put them in day care part time. I really do feel like my toddler gets a lot out of daycare. I don't have any guilt over that.
2007-09-15 16:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by Chris S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think being a stay at home mom is great...I am one myself..my kids are 14 yrs old and up...but I only worked 1 time for like about 6 months with my kids. I felt like I was neglecting them but I had to work to help make ends meet at the time.
I ran an inhome day care also with my kids at home just so I didn't have to leave them . That worked for awhile also. Now I am just grandma and an every once in awhile sitter for friends and family. But I would rather be with the kids and know they are safe and being taken good care of then leave them in a place that is government funded.
2007-09-14 14:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by curious_59 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would still put my kids in daycare, just a lot less...maybe 1/2 days or a few days a week...it really is great b/c they don't just play, they teach the kids too (where my kids go) and the kids really do get a chance to be social and learn socially appropriate actions, social skills, etc...plus as they get older, they have "friends" and as they become more talkative they get to tell me about their day (which i already know when I'm home with them), etc. There are just a lot of plusses to daycare...but it doesn't make up for some one on one (or two or three) mom/kid time. So, a happy medium would be my vote.
2007-09-14 14:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by its about time 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Not to sound entirely diplomatic, but I think you're both right. I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I often feel like my daughter would be much more advanced if she had more socialization. I think she's missing that in her life. However, I would be devistated if I had to work and I would feel like my daughter would be missing out on the one-on-one interaction she gets from me. This is an age-old debate that has no easy answers. Every mom has to do what she thinks is best.
2007-09-14 14:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 0⤋
I am all for moms staying at home if they are able and choose to do so. However, some moms are just at home with their kids and not doing a darn thing beneficial for the kid other than changing diapers, giving a bottle and placing them in front to the boob tube!
As a working mom, working mom's can be just as effective in rearing kids just as the "Real" stay at home moms. I wish i could have remained home with my kids but my husband and I needed to work.
2007-09-14 14:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by mudslide_23511 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋