Behaviour problem with my 6.5 years old daughter?

Question

she in 1st grade. when is not tired or hungry she behaves very good. but these days when she comes from school she is all tired and yell at me. if she does not get what she want she started to hit me. i take her Toys and TV. away. after she is calm down she say sorry and says i won do it again. problem is next day when she comes home from school it happens again. her school is full day. today she said mommy i cant stop this. is this normal to 6.5 year old to have melt downs when they are tired which is every day? her eating habbits are not good also. are there any kind of vitamins which can help her so she does not get so much tired after school? one more thing is when she in that phase she expect me to do what she says which i do not do, should i give in untill she calm down? she is very strong willed child since she is born. i also suspect she has ADD but never got diagnosed beecause she does good in school. she follows her teacher very well.
thanks in advance.

Answer 1

This sounds to be more of a Parenting problem, then an actual "problem" with your child. Talk to your pediatrician about it

Answer 2

This is normal at this this age, she is tired and cranky! Have a "quiet time" where when she comes home, she can lie down and relax (napping is fine) for about 45 minutes. No TV, soothing music or books on tape work best. Then a light snack and you will be back in business.

Don't jump on the ADD wagon just yet, wait a year or two and see how she does.

Good job not giving into the tantrums!

Answer 3

Everyone suspects their child has add these days.
1. Make sure she is getting enough sleep. Going from 1/2 day - full day in school is a big change.
2. Make sure she is drinking water enough and eating heathy foods. Don't put the responsibility on a vitamin, FEED HER WELL.
3. Hitting is 100% unacceptable. When she does this you put her in the corner for 6 minutes. Don't talk to her just say "you hit, you sit in the corner for 6 minutes" Then tell her to apologize afterward.
4. She follows her teachers rules because she respects them, you need to earn that respect

Answer 4

Whatever you do, don't give in to her. Then who is the boss? She will think that she is. I think that lds_girl is right. Give her a snack when she gets home and have her take a nap or have some "quiet time" alone in her room. Make sure you re-assure her (in 6 yr. old terms) that this is not a punishment, but a time for her to recharge her batteries so to speak.

Make sure she goes to bed and gets up at the same time every day druing the school year. Kids THRIVE on routine. After she is on a set schedule for a while, you should see some dramatic improvements.

Good luck to you and don't forget to follow through with all rules you set. It makes all the difference in the world!

Answer 5

if she is good at school then it is NOT ADD. So try not to label her. Vitamins do not help instead work on her getting a better diet. As soon as she gets in the car after school get her to eat something. A sandwich some fruit, raw veggies. It is possible she has a low sugar level and needs some food (not sugar, that will give her a rush and a worse comedown). Then as soon as she gets home off to her room for a 20 min rest. She can use this to read or just listen to some music. She needs to be in bed by 7pm and lights out at 7.30 at the latest. She is so tired it sounds like she is not coping.
Never ever give in. That will just teach her to throw a tantrum to get what she wants.

Answer 6

I agree with Rachel. And it is very hard for some kids to adjust to all day school. And if it is due to fatigue and diet, I am sorry you are to blame for the behavior you are getting. Put her to bed earlier, kids at her age need at least 10 hours of sleep. Vitamins are good for any child especially ones with bad eating habits. My kids eating habit s are not the best but we are working on that. Have you tried juices? My kids take a vitamin and drink fruit juice (100% juice a lot of them are only 10% so be sure and check the labels) every morning with breakfast. And they have V-8 every day after school, I tell them you can drink a glass quickly or eat a bowl of veggies, not the best but better than none.
My youngest has meltdowns a lot if she is over tired. And I am not being mean when I say you are to blame because I did it myself with my oldest. And my youngest just has more limits or I guess her behavior shows it when she is tired. And I have learned it is not fair to the child to let them be over tired and eat improperly and expect them to cope.
I agree she is not ADD if she can behave at school. My youngest is soooo strong willed herself. But sleep is key in her behavior, she actually does best with 12 hours of sleep.
Try adjusting her bedtime and slowly adjust her diet and I bet you will see a great improvement.
Above all be patient but do not give in either. It is a fine line.

And kids need a little time to chill after school just like adults like after work, no we do not always get it, but we are adults.
I give my kids 1 to 1 1/2 hours of free time after school before we begin homework or baths etc.

Answer 7

What time does she go to bed? She needs to be in bed at around 8-8:30 pm. That may be a direct cause of the problem. I understand when kids are not feeling well and their moods are very erratic, but there is NO excuse for letting your own child hit you. My 3 year old gets moody sometimes and did once hit me. I TANNED HIS HIDE AND I TANNED IT GOOD!!! Never again did he do anything physical. Kids will only do what you let them get away with. If she is having severe emotional trouble, you may need to speak with a couselor or even a child psychologist about it. They can open a lot of doors, study the child, and pretty much pinpoint the problem. I'm not one to be too harsh with a child, as my answers tend to differ with how a question is asked and how serious someone seems while asking. Why aren't her eating habits good? Are you offering her anything to simply appease to her good side? Personally, if you expect good results, you have to put your foot down. Give her only healthy food choices...if she refuses to eat, then she's not hungry. Wrap them up until she is hungry and then give them to her. Parents are supposed to guide kids and show them the right way. I know you love your child and you want what's best for her, but that also includes that she can't always have her way. If kids knew the right way, they wouldn't need us for guidance!
Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

If I was in your shoes, and my child was acting like that, it would be time for a spanking.
I know i'll get a lot of thumbs down in that, but she has control of you.
She says "I won't do it again" She does it again.
She says she can't stop her behavior, that's where you need to step in and stop it for her.
Kids need structure. They want limits.
No. Do not give in.
Give her a snack when she gets in the car. Make her rest after school.
Some bad days are expected, but every single day?
I agree w/ the other poster, if she's behaving at school it isn't ADD.

Answer 9

Tired and hungry=cranky. Try to find out why she is so hungry when she gets home, it could be she is not eating her lunch. If she is, then give her a snack-- my kids favorite was always fruit and a dip I make out of cream cheese and marshmallow cream. Then have her take a quiet time, for about 30 min. She can either nap, or just read. try this for a couple of weeks and see if it helps.

Answer 10

I don't tolerate hitting a parent.
I don't care how hungry or how tired either of my kids are.
They hit me, they get ripped a new one.
They are free to be mad all they want, but they cannot take it out on me, their mom or each other.
She apologizes to you, but there's no discipline. No price to pay.
I believe in discipline.
I am consistant with it.
Apologies are great, and well needed, but the words "i'm sorry" aren't enough when there's no feeling behind it.
She says she can't stop it, because she needs boundaries. That's what she's asking for.
She's asking you to set up boundaries.
I don't believe in medicating kids.
You say she doesn't have good eating habits, well, here's the thing, the parents are the guardians of the children. Which means you provide her with the foods she eats.
Don't give her junk.
If you have a pizza night (saturday at our house) that's fine. But on weeknights we have non-junkfood law.
They eat what they are given.
You have to be in control of your child, not have her be in control of you.

Answer 11

Hitting you and yelling at you should not be tolerated. You are the parent and she needs to respect you regardless of whether she is tired or hungry. Allowing her to get away with thi behavior is letting her know that she can use beign tired or hungry as an excuse to behave badly.

If you can't get a handle on this yourself then talk to a family therapist who can help you with your parenting skills as well as help with your daughters behavior.

This is a serious problem and you need to deal with it now or else you will be really regretting it when she is a teenager.

Good luck!