I have a co-worker who recently transferred into our office. She talks nonstop, is loud, and abnoxious. She's seriously overweight and has offensive body odor at times. She comes to work early in the morning covered in cat hair (from her 5 indoor cats), and with dirt under her nails. It's difficult to even say hello to her, because she turns it into a full length conversation. So what is my problem? Her daughter is coming to visit from out of state. She is having a "meet and greet" my daughter party in her home. She will be serving a light dinner and drinks. I don't particularly care for this woman, but I know she has no friends, she has expressed that she is very lonely here and her only invitations are to co-workers. I think she is probably a good person, and I feel sorry for her, and I would feel bad if no one goes. But I could never eat anything in her home because I know she is unclean. Nor could I tolerate a full evening with her. Any suggestions???
2007-09-14 12:34:51 · 8 answers · asked by deliverychick 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Go. Make it a short stay, and eat before you arrive. In fact, specifically make plans that require you to leave after an hour. You would be doing a huge act of kindness. She obviously does not take pride in her appearance, but you will give her the opportunity to show off the one thing that DOES make her proud (her daughter). I am a huge believer in karmic payback, and I think your generosity and kindness to this poor woman will be rewarded in some form that you cannot possibly foresee right now.
2007-09-14 12:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is her name Susan? Just curious. She sounds exactly like a Legal History classmate of mine.
I can't imagine anyone getting close enough to have kids..anyhow.
Well, you can look at it this way: you could become friends with her and she could tell you she actually has a disease that causes foul body odor, but the person that has it can't smell it. (It really exists) They have no idea until someone tells them they stink that they stink. OR you could become friends with her and offer pointers on hygiene. She may tell you she's allergic to most soaps and shampoos and deodorants. I certainly am, but I find ones that I can use. OR you can take her on as a pity friend. OR you can try to get past the aura around her and hopefully find a really nice person under there.
I don't know if I made this any easier for you. There are people out there with personality disorders that tend to become Klingons once we smile at them. Then there are normal people who really are lonely and won't call you every few hours to say hello. Do you feel like giving her a chance? I'd have a hard time going. But, to be honest, if it were me, I'd make an appearance. I can't drink alcohol because I'm on medication, so I'd bring my own beverage...And maybe bring along a tray of nice hors d’oeuvres and a bottle of wine for the hostess...That way, you can drink from your own container...eat food that you brought if hers looks nasty, and still be a gracious guest by bringing her a bottle of wine to celebrate the occasion. It really is up to you. If you think that she'll be obsessive about being friends with you, don't cross that bridge. But if you think she may be worth a second chance, don't burn it, either.
I hope if you go that you have a good time. And if you don't go, well...I hope that someday you'll find something in this woman to like.
Take care..S.
2007-09-14 19:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by Serena 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your co-workers if they were invited and if any of them are going. Maybe you could make plans to meet up with one or more of them and you could go together. That way you would have to leave when they do.
Or, tell the inviter that you would like to go to her party to meet the daughter but you wouldn't be able to stay for dinner because of a prior committment. You go, you stay for a half hour and you leave.
2007-09-14 19:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anabanana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple, if you don't like her and can't stand her, don't torture yourself and give her false hope by going. I know it might be mean, and you just want to be nice, but if you honestly aren't willing to befriend this person and dig under the surface, don't give the lady false hope.
2007-09-14 19:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you dont like her ...dont do her any "favors" by showing up. The last thing this lady sounds like she needs is phony people acting like friends.
2007-09-14 19:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
goO!! leave early, make up some believable excuse, but the woman needs love. maybe if she finds out about all her newfound friends she'll begin grooming herself.
2007-09-14 19:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by yazzypwns 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
go go go...bring something ...a small platter of nachos, with bean dip and salsa...
I have a funny feeling you will enjoy your self (really).!!!
2007-09-14 21:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by Winters child 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't HAVE to go.
2007-09-14 20:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋