What would you say to your BF if?

Question

If your 6 mth pregnant and engaged and live apart. You only see him 2-3 nights/mornings a week cause he works as a care worker with night schedules and since Fri morn you saw him Tuesday 9pm till 1pm following day then not at all (he doesn't text or phone as he says he's skint so you have to) then next time he's free is Thursday but he goes to mates cos he says no money for petrol for you. Then next free nigt is Saturday and Fri night can't even tell you if he's free. He says has to go see his cousin then maybe after I can travel and stay at his. He then says we can def see each other Sun...he can come about 4 straight after work if I cook sunday dinner as he's got three offers, sunday dinner at work, siunday dinner at pub or mine...how would you feel?

Answer 1

He's not thinking about your feelings at all ma'am
You need to tell him exactly how you feel about this, guys need it plain straight, we're not mind readers, maybe he thinks you're not bothered by it

Answer 2

I'd say you're going to have a sucky time trying to raise a child with him. Unfortunately, if he isn't putting you first now, he probably won't do it later. And marriage isn't going to solve that. You should be taking parenting classes together now- so he gets an idea of how much committment it is going to require. If I were you I'd be angry, hurt, feel abandoned and unloved because he's definately not putting you as a priority. Now more than ever (you're 6 months into this pregnancy) he should be around and be talking to the baby- the baby can definately hear and respond to voices at this far in the pregnancy. You need to talk to him about that. Hope you will be getting married soon and start living together, but I really don't think that will change this situation unfortunately. Generally men who don't put you first while you're pregnant, aren't going to suddenly overnight change and put you first once there's a baby with you. Also I hope for your sake that he isn't being stupid and doing something like cheating on you.

Answer 3

indeed you are rambling and it's hard to understand. What I figured though is that your boyfriend does not have time for you. Obviously he is not concerned with you OR the fact that you are pregnant. If you are engaged, why do you still live separately?
I think you should invite him for a dinner, order pizza or something. And have a serious talk. You can not be rambling like you did in your details. You should be clear and tell him what exactly is expected of him. He made that baby, after all. Tell him that you want him to be a father, if he does not have balls to be a good boyfriend. Tell him that you will leave him if he does not change his attitude, and if he doesn't apologize, make sure he has a custody of this child so he helps you support it. I feel for you because you got pregnant with a jerk like this, who does not seem to have any respect for you.

Answer 4

Generally men who love you are always in your face either phoning, texting or at your door. Given that you are expecting, I would have thought he would be all over you like a rash. If you want the brutal truth, I don't think he is very keen at all. He doesn't sound ready to be a dad. When I got pregnant a few years back, I wouldn't move because my other kid was still at school in the town where we were living. My now husband ended up driving to his house every night after work, packing a bag, and coming over to mine so that he could look after me. When the baby arrived, he had his house all ready and I moved in there with my kids as his was a bigger place. But the point I am making is that he made the effort. He was exhausted from all the driving but didn't give a hoot as long as we were together. Now, does that sound like your bloke? Your man is acting like a child. Its going to be a bit tricky for you given your situation, but I think its time to have a chat and see how he really feels about fatherhood. I don't think you are going to like it and I see he is being a coward by avoiding you because its only a sh.t that leaves a girl when she is pregnant and he doesn't want to be the one to end it..he wants you to so that he doesn't look as bad. Or, he is just terrified. Only you can get to the bottom of it. Good luck whatever happens.

Answer 5

From a guy's perspective, I think he knows exactly what he's doing and it indicates to me that he doesn't have the same feelings for you that he may have once had. I think if he's going other places rather than with you when he has time off, he may have lost interest. You can't make someone be interested either, even if he SHOULD be there. I hate to say it, but he might even be cheating on you.

My advice, don't try to demand anything from him. You need to make him interested in you. Look your best when he sees you. Do some nice things for him, but don't do too many, because then he won't appreciate it. It wouldn't hurt if there was a way to make him a little jealous too.

In the end however, you may have lost him.

Good luck.

Answer 6

He is obviously not concerned with you and your baby. If I were in his situation, the baby would be enough for me to make the time. I wish you good luck in rearing the child alone. If he won't put the time in now, what will he do when there's a kid? Having to choose between you and the pub are rediculous. He has an obligation as a fiancee and a father to be there. Sorry, it's douche bags like him that give other guys a bad name.

Answer 7

Id say do one and when you can afford to top up your phone don't bother to call me cos I will be with someone who gives a ****.

I have a terrible suspicion he is either too childish to cope with real life and responsibility or a big liar. oh an why cant he eat his Sunday dinner at pub with you. follow him on Sunday then dump him Hun
There are plenty of nice guys out there and it sounds like he is giving you more grief than happiness so even if you and baby are on your own for a bit you would be better off.

After saying all that your heart is involved and whatever any of us say to you , you wont listen cos you love him.

good luck hunny and congrats soon you will have a little bundle of joy to love and your attention wont be on missing boy anymore.

Answer 8

I would feel like I'm the last thing on his mind. Everything comes before me.......which is not right. I would tell him that you decided to take a break and take care of your health and the babbies health. From there you can decide if hes what you want and how your life is without him in it. If he acts this way now, how will he act when the baby is born. Put you and your baby first.....relationships can wait its just unwanted stress to even deal with during pregnancy. If he wants to be with you and you alone not just cause of the baby then...actions will speak louder than words.

Answer 9

I, personally, would feel a little distraught. But you have to remember that you're six months pregnant and your hormone levels are running a little wacky right now. Don't over evaluate his decisions/reactions. Just be calm and honest with him and tell him how it makes you feel. Explain to him the complicated, emotional side of the pregnancy and that you would really appreciate if he could find a little more time for you. Maybe even suggest setting aside a specific time each week that's just for you. Everybody is different, I wish you the best of luck, sweetheart.

Answer 10

How would i feel?? I would feel real stoopid right now at having opened my legs in the first place to be honest...IF i knew what he was like before hand&liable NOT to make time for me during 'our' pregnancy.....WHILST HE IS ''ALLEGEDELY'' WORKING....(its a sod that aint it guy's--to be a workin man?--shouldn't be allowed--we should be at home ALL the time&show some backbone--some responsibility& some support to our partner's--can't do that whilst earning a crust at work fellas now can we!!) Bye pin-head, you go get yourself a ''real'' man--someone who does the rounds of the pubs in your area of a night time--someone who wears unlimited gold around their necks&YOU as a ''trophy''--someone WITHOUT A JOB--or someone who has fighting dogs on big chains to scare and terrorise people--someone who slaps you about occasionally-''just to keep you in line'' you understand--someone who makes their money from thieving--robbing--and all manner of nefarious activities. You go out and find this guy-(there are many about nowaday's:/), instead of a decent-loyal-hardworking,trusting fella--which i suspect YOUR fella is.....THEN you come back on here in six months time.....&tell me i'm wrong!!

Answer 11

That its time to end the relationship. He obviously isnt as committed to it as you, and he seems to be finding excuse after excuse to keep away from you. Try talking to him face to face and asking him outright what he wants, whether to stay or end the relationship. Just because you are pregnant doesnt mean that you should stay together. You are worth a lot more than he obviously thinks are you. You deserve someone better for you AND your unborn child. Do you want him/her to grow up sitting around waiting for men/women who treat them like crap?