how do i look at her the same way?

Question

my mother called a family meeting today and told me and my 3 other brothers that my little sister, was pregnant, and she's only 14, her boyfriend and her have been going out for 2 or 3 years but I really didnt think it was that serious, I'm 15 and never had a b/f b4 and she's gonna have a baby, she's a sl*t I think and I just think thats what she is, my mom told us to be nice and not to judge her that sometimes stuff like that happens but I'm angry thats disgusting and disturbing. I'm not ready to be an aunt and right now I hate my sister she's an idiot, I cant even look at her the same way everytime I do I feel disgusting just looking at her what do I do

Additional Details

14 minutes ago
I used to care about her we used to be best friends but by her doing this it just ruined it, shes a child and needs to be kept in a childs place I am definitley not jelous that she has a boyfriend, because she also is going to have a baby and the reason I dont is b/c i choose not too I have been asked out if u must know, but i said no Im focusing on my school work and Im going to get good grades and u know what Im not going to make excuses for her Im not going to feel bad what if she hadnt ended up being prg and we just found out u guys wld be singing a different tune so please dont tell me Im jelous

6 minutes ago
I actually plan to go to college and have a life of my own, I dont even want to talk to her which I havent and I never do I know I'll get over it but its just the thought of it (I will love th child an I will never let anyhting bad happpen to it I know its not his/her fault its my idiotic sisters

Answer 1

First, I went throught the same thing when I was younger and my sister got pregnant. I had the exact same initial response you did. I called my sister a f****** whore infront of the whole family. We are close to are families so when something like this happens we feel hurt and overreact. This is wrong.
You sister is not a whore. She is studpid, niave, irresponsible, selfcentered, immature---and scared to death. But she is not a whore so don't call her that.

Take care of first thing first. Get the guy the hell away from your sister. If he cared about her and was worthy she wouldn't be pregnant.

I don't know how long it will take you to see your sister the same. Maybe never. I didn't. But that is not important. What is important is that you don't take it out on the baby. The baby didn't do anything wrong so when it is born do everything you can for it. When my sister's baby was born I didn't even want to look at him and refered to it as "that kid," never by its name. Now I am "thant kid's" Godfather, I love him and I have left him everything in my will.

Just try to stay calm and don't say anything you'll regret. Forgive her if you want to or not, but make the choice through logic and not emotion. Remember, she is pregnant because of an emotional decision. You must leave emotion out of big decisions.

Lastly, I'll say don't listen to anyone that uses "she is family" as an excuse to stick by her. If you father kidnapped and raped a child would you hide him out from the police or turn him in? Just because someone is family doesn't mean they are good people. People who say this are making judgments on emotion, not logic.

Forgive her or not forgive her because you come to the conclusion that she is a good person after all, or that she is not a good person. But not because of a knee-jerk emotional response or because she is family.

I would encourage her to give the baby up for adoption. Get the guy AWAY!

Answer 2

Well I don't know your sister sexual life but I say you are being a bit harsh on her.She will come to need you and when you are not there it will hurt her a lot and vice versa.It is a shame that you think so little of your sister.You cant be a good aunt and hold all this hatred towards your sister.No child should be put in that situation.That said why would you hold so much hate for her,what did she do to you?It is not you carrying the baby!It is not you going thru this!It is your sisters body!Are you so ashamed of how it will make you look?What about what others will think of her,obviously you already got your mind made up?So where does your sister turn when you her own sister has done turned her back?Does she really deserve that from you?I hope you rethink this.I know you are still hott because it is in the moment but I hope you look at it differently after you blow off some steam?

Answer 3

get over your pathetic self. your sister has found herself in a situation that she will have to face for the rest of her life. right now, she probably doesnt need you to put her down and call her a slut. it was her choice to have sex, and look what happened, and if your mother has accepted that fact so should you. you have no right or experience to judge her on, because you being only 15, will make mistakes too. she is your sister, and she needs your support. the boyfriend probably won't stay around once the baby is born, which is all the more reason for you to be supportive. do you want your sister to turn into some depressed alcoholic, drug-addicted mother? NO i think not! having a baby at 14 is sad, but it does happen, i can tell you are disappointed in her, but get over it. she will have to overcome obstacles you can't imagine. if she has a strong support system, she will succeed in life, even while having a baby at 14. best of luck to your family!

Answer 4

Let me start by saying that she is your sister and regardless of the fact that she made a mistake; now is not the time to make things worse for her at all. She has to carry this child for nine months and if the home environment is one of abusive language that can have some effect on her which will be passed on to the child.

None of us are perfect and we do make mistakes in life and this is also a time you all need to help her out as best you can.

You are prudent in not having a boyfriend and wanting to go to college and make some thing of your life. Right now you are angry about her pregnant and having a baby which is understandable; remember that shel is your blood and your sister and you can't deny that at all. I hope that in the long run you can forgive your sister and despite her predicament you will be able to help out were you can as if i understand what you are saying. You will love that very child of your sister ?

Answer 5

well, you can't ever look at her the same "way" again. But maybe I can help.....Even though you feel too young to be an anut and you think lowly of your sister, what would you think if she hid this and killed the baby or threw it away? So all you can do is show her how much you do love her, and that you are proud she had the COURAGE to tell the family she is pregnant. There is nothing more scary than being young and pregnant. And her boyfriend will leave her. So, 10 years from now, do you want your sister to love you, to be thankful that you held her hand, or do you want her to cut you off and think poorly of you? The right thing to do is hug her, and really, truly be her friend. She will need ALL she can get.

Answer 6

You know it must be good to be so perfect as you think that you are, and for your sake I hope you dont make a mistake and mess up all those perfect plans you have. Because when you do (and you will make mistakes everyone does) I hope your family treats yoiu better than you are treating your sister right now.
You said you used to be best friends and care for her? really? It dont sound like it to me. You are 15 and she is 14, you are older than she is so you should know that she is a child who is going to have a child, and she needs your love and understanding now more than ever. she is gonna face alot of hurt and hardship, people is gonna say the things that you just said about her, Slut, whore, ect. Those people are strangers you are her sister.
You shoud be ashamed of yourself, If your parents are willing to stand behind her, then you shouldnt have a problem with her. What would you have her to do? have an abortion? Live on the streets?
Grow up miss perfect we are all human and make mistakes

Answer 7

Ithink that you are not being a very nice person. I see that your love for your sister is only if she does things that please you and not the unconditional love a sister should have. You need to get a grip just think of all the things that your sister is going to miss out on because she CHOSE to have this baby. She is very young, and this will change her life forever. You should do your best to wish her well and NOT act like the spoiled little brat that you sound like. She is going to need so much of your love and support and so is the baby. Instead of consintrating on how much you dont respect her you should focus on how hard this decision was to make. Get over it and put your energy into loving your sister and new nephew/niece.

Answer 8

YOu are worried about your sister. You see your life so clearly, it is all mapped out. But it wasn't for your sister. She made a mistake. With that mistake, she will be bringing a life into the world.
It's hard on you because you realize how huge this is in your sister's life. One minute of passion will affect her whole life. You're right, you are both still children, no matter how adult you look, act, feel or behave.
Please remember, this affects your sister's life MAJORLY. Your life minorly, but hers majorly. She is going to need your help and support. This is scary and makes the person feel SOOOO alone. If your not there to help sister, you've both lost your best friend. Are you only a friend if our friends and family live by your standards or are you strong enough to be the one to forgive thier actions and support them emotionally and love them no matter what happens? Go ahead, call her names, ream into her, but let her know it doesn't affect your love for her, because it shouldn't. Even if you 'disown' her, you're the one will lose out.

Answer 9

First off I'd like to say your making a good choice by not dating in my opinion. My friend had tons of boyfriends and they all ended up changing and being totally weird. I waited till I was 18, and out of school, and I'd say I have the best boyfriend ever, we're both at a state were we kind of know who we are and were we're going. I did what you're planning to do and it worked out great for me.
As for your sister. I kind of agree with you, that was foolish. Best bet would be, if your mom can't take care of the baby, put it up for adoption. But it deserves to live. Try to talk to your sister, now more then ever she needs the support of you and the rest of your family. It may not be easy, but it is necessary. Good luck with everything!

Answer 10

Wow! First off, you're attitude really sucks! People make mistakes, sometimes BIG mistakes. Do you think you're perfect? That you won't ever make mistakes? What she did was her choice and she must take responsibility for it but you must take responsibility for your stinking attitude! You treating your sister like dirt, is both unloving and immature! You may think you're a good person because you don't sleep around or aren't pregnant, but 'good' people don't treat others like crap!
You need to forgive your sister do what Jesus said -

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.